How do you start your day?

“Every day we are born again” – Buddha

Over time and by creating daily KeyStone Habits you can learn to transform your life into the one you deserve.  For this, I like to use the term – stepping stones.  Every little step you take brings you one step closer to your new and healthy life.

With stepping stones you literally take each and every day, one step at a time.  It takes self awareness, inspiration, determination and the drive to want to change and the commitment to stay on task (and focused) as you begin your new Journey.  I know, because I have done this work and although there were times I wanted to quit, I am so grateful I didn’t.

It takes 26 days for a habit to become a lifestyle.

There are so many ways to begin making little but impactful changes in your life. Personally I found that starting with a morning routine was the best place to begin my Journey to an emotionally healthy lifestyle.

Thankfully I am a morning person so creating a morning routine was easy as well as exciting for me.  This routine is very important to me as it provides me with much needed structure and it gives me something to look forward to each day as I rise in the morning.  This positive start to my day gets my head in the right place so I am ready to tackle my day with a clear mind and a peaceful soul.

I am grateful for this practice and I continue to alter it to adjust to life’s little changes and challenges.


Below are some”morning ritual” ideas to help you create your own daily practice –

  • Wake up with the sunrise (“early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise” – Benjamin Franklin, famously)
  • Drink a glass of room temperature water (with lemon if you can – fantastic liver cleanse)
  • Intermittent fasting
  • Walk the dog / get on the treadmill (I don’t care how cold or hot it is, get that body moving)
  • Make a collagen smoothie – google smoothie recipes for some awesome ideas
  • Brush your teeth, wash your face, give yourself a mini facial or at least a detox scrub (I have some fantastic organic facial recipes to share)
  • Do at least 20 minutes of yoga stretches or if you are feeling bold do a 30 minute power yoga session 🙂
  • Start an exercise routine
  • Make a hot cup of coffee or tea – drink it slow and savor the flavor 🙂
  • Meditate for at least 5 minutes (download the Simple Habit, Calm or HeadSpace app for an easy guided meditation) – or just sit in silence as you drink your tea/coffee/smoothie
  • Practice grounding and earthing
  • Peruse your garden and cut fresh flowers for your home – assuming you have a garden, if not, steal your neighbors flowers and put them in a vase (LOL, kidding, well, kind of)
  • Write in your journal (express your gratitude, set your goals, write down your worries and let them go) – Don’t know how to journal or where to begin?  start here
  • Read your gratitude list out loud and thank the Universe, God, Buddha, whatever you believe in for another beautiful day in this life
  • Take a hot shower and be in the moment (you can also take a hot bath with Epsom salt and lavender before bed to wash away the day)
  • Get ready for your day (do your hair, put on makeup)
  • Dress to impress (even if you work from home – yoga pants are not pants)
  • If you commute, put on your favorite music or audio book – enjoy the time you have to yourself

Its just as easy and important to create an “evening wind-down ritual” as well (Contact Us for ideas to create your evening ritual).

Until soon!

Namaste

Ways to Honor Yourself

I am a self-proclaimed expert in the art of self-love and self-care.  I have gone from abusing myself in many ways to falling madly in love with myself on so many levels.

Self-love is such a personal thing that it is almost impossible for me to tell someone exactly how to love themselves, however, I feel I am educated enough on the topic to be able to make suggestions on where to start when someone is first entering their Journey into self-love and self-care.

Routines are very important because consistency is the key to any successful change.  It takes 21-26 days for a routine to become a habit.  In the beginning you will have to remind yourself that its important to do xyz… however, over time, it will just be a natural part of your day and one that you will look forward to.

For instance, I used to fear mornings…I would wake up with so many thoughts circling around in my head.  I would instantly feel alone and anxious.  So, when I started on my Journey to healing the first thing I created was a morning routine.  I created a beautiful and peaceful morning routine that eased my anxiety, soothed my soul and prepared me for the day ahead.  This routine is so amazing that I actually look forward to my mornings now, for the first time in my life.

So I speak from experience when I provide suggestions and ideas that may help you.


Below are ways you can honor yourself each and every day:

  1. Respect your body – there are so many levels of this topic that I would love to address but will focus on this one area – your body is yours and not to be given to anyone who doesn’t honor you.  Respect yourself and others will follow suit.
  2. Honor where you are at – wherever you are in life, know that you are exactly where you need to be at that moment.  Know that nothing stays the same forever, we have free will and the ability to create change and suffering doesn’t last.
  3. Feel your feelings – whatever they are…feel them.  Anxious, sad, mad, happy, elated, excited, nervous.  Sit with them and feel them.  Let them guide you.  If you are unhappy or anxious do not stuff them or hide them, they will resurface with a vengeance.  Feel them, and then let them go.
  4. Treat yourself – what do you enjoy?  a coffee at the cafe, massages, dinner with friends, a weekend retreat, yoga a few times a week, facials, hot baths?  what is your thing?  whatever it is…do it.
  5. Forgive yourself – we are human and make mistakes, lots of them!   Forgive yourself for those you have hurt, for the bad choices you made, for the hurt you caused yourself, acknowledge these things and forgive yourself.  Then let it go.
  6. Tell yourself how amazing you are – because you are smart, kind, loving, sweet, beautiful, hard working and so many other things.  Tell yourself.  Don’t wait for someone else to validate you, validate yourself.
  7. Celebrate your wins – there is always a win, even if all you did was get out of bed, get your kids off to school, make it to work on time, those are wins!
  8. Support yourself through losses – you will have down days, things that didn’t go as planned, someone will hurt you or you will hurt someone.  Support yourself through those moments.
  9. Relax and rest your soul – take some time for you and only you. Give yourself a much needed time out.  Read a book, take a bath, walk in the park, get a pedicure, go to the gym, roll out the mat and do some yoga.  Whatever it is that fills your soul, do it.
  10. Find quiet time – create a “quiet zone” at home, decorate that space and deem it yours.  Use that space for your quiet time, no screens (TV, iPhone, iPad, etc.).  Close your eyes, meditate, listen to music, read.
  11. Exercise – this topic is in every single blog I write and I will beat it to death. Our bodies need movement.  Find what you enjoy and can commit to and move your body.  Walking, hiking, yoga, Pilates, Barre, HIIT, boot camp, etc.  Get on that treadmill, go to the park, do yoga at home or a studio, download a boot camp app.  Just commit to at least 3x a week of movement.
  12. Do things you love – are you creative – start by doing some DIY projects, enjoy time with people – join or start a MeetUp group, want to learn something new – take a class.  The sky is the limit.
  13. Put yourself first – it is not selfish!
  14. Set goalsgoal setting is very empowering and keeps us on task.  It also helps us manifest the things we desire.
  15. Seek solace in nature – nature is very grounding and provides us with a direct connection to earth. Spending time in nature, either on the beach, in the woods, planting in your garden can help ease anxiety and ground us back to a healthy place.
  16. Feed your body nourishing foods – you are what you eat, enough said!

I hope you can identify with a number of these suggestions.

Contact Us for a free coaching session.

~joy~love~light~

-Avesha

Grounding exercises to ease anxiety and the stress of daily life

Read this article in the Elephant Journal Magazine by clicking here: Grounding/Earthing

Life is busy.

Let’s face it, managing home, work, and family obligations is overwhelming and feels endless.  We tirelessly manage to get through the day by ticking the boxes of our “to do” list until we eventually crawl into bed only to do it all over again the next day.

This type of lifestyle can cause us a tremendous amount of anxiety and stress.  Our bodies are constantly in a state of fight or flight and we are maxing out our adrenal glands.  This type of stress not only causes anxiety but insomnia, weight gain, heart issues and high blood pressure.

How do we handle this?  My suggestion..in addition to self care techniques that you can find in my previous blogs (ex. How to practice self love daily) you need to implement a grounding or earthing practice to your daily routine.

Grounding is a technique that brings people back to the the present moment when they are in the midst of chaos. Grounding skills can be helpful with managing feelings of intense anxiety and can help people regain their mental focus after a traumatic event or anxiety induced state.

There are many proven ways to ground yourself.  If you are in the midst of an anxiety attack and need to get “grounded” you can start by counting backwards either in your mind or out loud, this is actually a mental distraction and therefore takes the focus off the anxiety.  Another wonderful and successful technique is to look around the room and name what you see “lamp, table, picture of my kids, 5 pens in a pencil holder, painting with a horse and a tree…whatever it is you see, call it out.  This helps ground you into the present moment.

Some grounding techniques are actually referred to as “earthing” and like the name suggests, you literally become one with the earth by putting your body in direct and uninterrupted contact with the earth. This exercise requires that your skin touch the soil, sand, water, or a conductive surface that is in contact with the earth.

This can be mean dipping your toes in the sand at the beach, walking in nature, going for a hike deep in the forest, swimming in a lake or the ocean, planting seeds or replanting flowers and digging in the dirt or just walking through the grass barefoot.  Earthing has a tremendous amount of health benefits, too many to mention in this article so I empower you to google “earthing” and “grounding”.

I have compiled a list below of my favorite grounding activities (more than one involves earthing):

  1. Walking or hiking – walking is the simplest and most effective way to reduce anxiety.  Walking at an even pace has a very calming effect.  It can evoke mindfulness, clear your head of rapidly cycling thoughts and release stress.  When walking (or hiking) in nature you will feel more relaxed and open during the walk.  You can also take it one step further and meditate while you walk.  Walks on the beach are amazingly therapeutic as well.  The salt air and calming sound of the ocean is very grounding.
  2. Yoga – specifically Hatha Yoga which is the simplest form of Asana’s (yoga postures) and pranayama (breathing techniques).  Yoga is the soul practice of the body, mind and your spirit and brings you to a state of mindfulness.  This technique can be done at home, for as practice as short or as long as you desire.  I recommend at least 15 minutes for a session length although 30 is ideal.
  3. Gardening – nothing connects you to the earth more than gardening.  This is a fantastic example of earthing as your hands are completely immersed in the soil.  Such a peaceful and mindful art and one that has so many benefits.
  4. Journaling – keeps you in a state of mindfulness by helping to remove negative thoughts as well as organize those distracting racing thoughts.  Getting your thoughts and ideas down on paper will help you clear your mind and enable you to to get to a peaceful state quickly.  Organizing your thoughts also helps you to set and ultimately obtain goals in a more efficient way.
  5. Arts/Crafts/Creativity – being creative by using your imagination and putting ideas into action is a very grounding activity that also has a beneficial and tangible outcome.

Whatever practice you choose, immerse yourself in it.  Bask in the moment of the activity and when you find your mind start to drift and your thoughts beginning to wander…bring yourself back to the moment.  Feel the earth as you put your hands in the dirt, walk across the grass or stick your toes in the sand.  To ground yourself even further, describe out loud how it feels. Describing it makes it feel real.

I love walking barefoot in the grass on a chilly summer morning after it has rained and the grass is wet with dew.  The feeling is magical and reminds me of childhood.  Remember being a child and running through the sprinkler?  Wasn’t that magical?

Even as adults we can create magical moments that make us feel like children again.  The wonderment, the joy and the peace we felt when we were riding our bikes and the wind blew through our hair, or doing summer-salts on a warm summer day with the sun beaming down on us.  How about that moment when you take that first lick of an ice cream cone.

Those moments are priceless.

We can have those now, as adults, we just have to create them.  We live in a world of chaos and instant gratification.  It is our commitment to ourselves to take a step back and slow things down so we can enjoy every single moment, because right now is all we have.

So I empower you to try at least one of these amazing techniques to help ground you and live in each moment as it comes.  It isn’t easy, but over time, it will become easier.

Namaste’

Peace…love…health…always!

As always, if you are ready to embark on your new Journey of self care, self love, and mindfulness Contact Us

Photo by rawpixel.com on Unsplash

Stop being overwhelmed by life

“Love the life you live, live the life you love.”

– Bob Marley

Life can be overwhelming for a lot of us.

Jobs, homes, kids, dogs, friendships, relationships, etc. At times it may seem as if there is never an end to the things you have to do every day. Sometimes I wake up and it feels like ground hog day. That exact feeling is why I have created the best morning routine that helps me hop out of bed and start my day. Granted, I am an extreme morning person (yes, I am dead tired by 8pm), you do not have to be a morning person to enjoy getting out of the bed in the morning. A simple, but effective morning routine can change, everything.

For a number of people these responsibilities aren’t only overwhelming, they are paralyzing and instead of tackling their to do list, they accomplish nothing at all. If you are one of these people, don’t feel bad, you are not alone, many people struggle with having too much on their “to do list”.

Below are a few of my personal tips I use to manage my day to day life so that it doesn’t become overwhelming. Having raised two very busy and active boys solely by myself, physically and financially and through this experience I learned right quick that there are things that NEED to get done and then there is everything else. I learned to manage my time (and theirs) in a way that did not overwhelm me…all the time.

Disclosure: Admittedly, I am a neat freak with a hatred of clutter and disorganization so…for me to not feel overwhelmed there were things I HAD to handle that others may feel they could let go of. My point is, we are all different and what overwhelms some of us might not overwhelm others. So be thoughtful of what makes you feel accomplished and what frustrates you and then think about what you can let go of.

  1. Create and Implement a morning routine – I cannot stress enough the importance of a morning routine. How you start your day sets the stage for how your entire day will unfold. Baby steps are OK here…you can implement small changes at first until you get to your desired routine.
  2. Only take on what you can handle – say no once in a while, you don’t always need to be the one to volunteer. If your mind is saying NO but your mouth is saying YES then its clear you are not comfortable saying no, even when you need to. Something to be conscious of, are you a people pleaser?
  3. Set boundaries with people – you decide what works for you and what doesn’t. You are the Director of your life.
  4. ALWAYS make time for self care – self care and self love is the single most important thing you can do for yourself in this lifetime. This is by far my favorite topic to talk about, write about and coach people on. Self care isn’t selfish, its simply you putting yourself first so you are able to be there for others. Self care means taking 15 mins each morning to stretch, drink some coffee, wake up and organize your thoughts. Self care is taking a bath at the end of the day when all the dishes are done, kids are in bed and lunches are made. Self care is taking a walk in nature on Sunday morning to decompress from a long week.
  5. Your marriage comes before your children, nuture that relationship
  6. Let go of what is not critical and move that task to the next day
  7. Create and prioritize a task list
  8. Make time for enjoyment – find time to be silly. Once a week make a date with your husband, kids, a friend or yourself and just do something that is fun. Paint, go to a comedy club, host a dinner party and play games, whatever brings out your playful side…do it.
  9. Tackle what you need to and move on – do not get stuck on what you can’t get done, celebrate what you DID get done.
  10. Make time for exercise – I could talk about exercise all day long. Exercise is a critical component to true and deep happiness and feeling good about yourself. There are many different avenues you can take with exercise. Go for a walk, hike, do yoga, stretch, take a class, whatever you enjoy…do it.
  11. Plan and cook meals ahead of time – something I struggled with was having enough time to prepare meals. So I started cooking on weekends for the week and in addition I started preparing my breakfast the night before. Grateful for overnight oats and smoothies!!
  12. Ask for help (lean on others for support)
  13. Carpool (school, sports, etc.)
  14. Clean the kitchen at night so you wake up to a clean space
  15. Go to bed early so you can rise early
  16. Rise early so you can tackle the day refreshed and with a clear mind
  17. DO NOT HIT SNOOZE
  18. If you are suffering from anxiety or depression, get help – don’t go it alone
  19. Surround yourself with the things you love – it is a fact that when you are surrounded by beauty and the things you love, your mind settles
  20. Self motivate by making your tasks fun
  21. Involve your children and create chores for them! its good for kids to feel invested
  22. Take a break from life at least once a week, do something special for yourself – go on a day trip, have a girls day, take your kids to the park and have a picnic, take a hike, do something out of the norm and embrace it.

I hope you can identify with a few of these tips if not all and embrace them. Incorporating small changes in your life can make such a difference. Even if you identify with only one of these tips (right now), one small change can make such a difference.

If you would like to chat and discuss where you struggle, what you can change, how to make a morning routine, etc. Please contact us anytime at AveshaEmpower@gmail.com

In addition if you feel this article would be helpful to someone you know who struggles with the every day stress of life….pass this article along and kindly share on your social media pages. My goal is to help people who struggle find solutions to make life a little easier.

Namaste

How to relieve anxiety without meds by “grounding” or “earthing”

The most important thing about anxiety is to understand what it truly is.

  • Anxiety is fear.
  • Anxiety is lack of control.
  • Anxiety is worry.
  • Anxiety is self created (most of the time).
  • Anxiety can be controlled.

There are different types of anxiety, so I encourage you to educate yourself on the signs and symptoms and type of anxiety that exist. You can visit https://www.anxiety.org/what-is-anxiety to get started.

Anxiety can be felt all over your body, if you do not gain control over your anxiety you can develop panic attacks and eventually a full on panic disorder.

Panic disorder is a type of anxiety disorder. It causes panic attacks, which are sudden feelings of terror when there is no real danger. You may feel as if you are losing control. You may also have physical symptoms, such as

  • Fast heartbeat
  • Chest or stomach pain
  • Breathing difficulty
  • Weakness or dizziness
  • Sweating
  • Feeling hot or a cold chill
  • Tingly or numb hands

Panic attacks can happen anytime, anywhere, and without warning. One you experience one, you may live in fear of another attack and may avoid places that trigger you into an attack. For some people, fear takes over their lives and they cannot leave their homes and they become a prisoner to their disorder.

Panic disorders are more common in women than men. They usually start during adolescence. Stress is a huge trigger. People can resolve anxiety and almost abolish it, with proper treatment. Therapy can teach you how to recognize the triggers, develop coping skills and change your thinking patterns before they lead to panic. Medicines can also help but should be used as a last resort.

There are many different ways to manage anxiety. I wrote an article a few years ago for the Elephant Journal magazine which was really popular and helped a number of people – click here to read this amazing article!

Taken from this article I provide you with 5 proven techniques to cope with your anxiety without medicine by “grounding” or “earthing”.

Grounding is a technique that brings people back to the present moment when they are in the midst of chaos. Grounding skills can be helpful with managing feelings of intense anxiety and can help people regain their mental focus after a traumatic event or anxiety-induced state.

There are many proven ways to ground yourself. If you are in the midst of an anxiety attack and need to get “grounded,” you can start by counting backward, either in your mind or out loud; this is actually a mental distraction, and therefore, takes the focus off the anxiety.

Another wonderful and successful technique is to look around the room and name what you see: lamp, table, picture of my kids, five pens in a pencil holder, painting with a horse and a tree…whatever it is you see, call it out. This helps ground you in the present moment.

Some grounding techniques are actually referred to as “earthing”—and like the name suggests, you literally become one with the earth by putting your body in direct, uninterrupted contact with the earth. This exercise requires that your skin touch the soil, sand, water, or a conductive surface that is in contact with the earth.

This can be mean dipping your toes in the sand at the beach, walking in nature, going for a hike deep in the forest, swimming in a lake or the ocean, planting seeds (or replanting flowers) and digging in the dirt, or just walking through the grass barefoot. Earthing has a tremendous amount of health benefits—too many to mention in this article, so I empower you to google “earthing” and “grounding.”

Here’s a list of my favorite grounding activities (more than one involves earthing):

1. Walking or hiking.

Walking is the simplest and most effective way to reduce anxiety. Walking at an even pace has a very calming effect. It can evoke mindfulness, clear your head of rapidly cycling thoughts, and release stress. When walking (or hiking) in nature you will feel more relaxed during the walk. You can also take it one step further and meditate while you walk. Walks on the beach are amazingly therapeutic as well. The salt air and calming sound of the ocean is very grounding.

2. Yoga.

Specifically, Hatha yoga, which is the simplest form of asanas (yoga postures) and pranayama (breathing techniques) can be helpful. Yoga is the soul practice of the body, mind, and spirit—and it brings us to a state of mindfulness. This can be done at home, and we can practice for as short or as long a time as we desire. I recommend at least 15 minutes for session length, although 30 minutes is ideal.

3. Gardening.

Nothing connects you to the earth more than gardening. This is a fantastic example of earthing, as your hands are completely immersed in the soil. It’s such a peaceful and mindful art—and one that has so many benefits.

4. Journaling.

This keeps us in a state of mindfulness by helping to remove negative thoughts, as well as organizing those distracting, racing thoughts. Getting your thoughts and ideas down on paper will help you clear your mind and enable you to get to a peaceful state quickly. Organizing your thoughts also helps you to set (and ultimately obtain) goals in a more efficient way.

5. Arts/Crafts/Creativity.

Being creative by using your imagination and putting ideas into action is a very grounding activity that also has a beneficial and tangible outcome.

Whatever practice you choose, immerse yourself in it. Bask in the moment of the activity—and when you find that your mind starts to drift and your thoughts beginning to wander, bring yourself back to the moment.

Feel the earth as you put your hands in the dirt; walk across the grass, or stick your toes in the sand. To ground yourself even further, describe how it feels out loud . Describing it makes it feel extra real.

I love walking barefoot in the grass on a chilly summer morning after it has rained and the grass is wet with dew. The feeling is magical and reminds me of childhood. Remember being a child and running through the sprinkler? Wasn’t that magical?

Even as adults, we can create magical moments that make us feel like children again. We feel the wonderment, the joy, and the peace we felt as kids, when we were riding our bikes and the wind blew through our hair—or doing somersaults on a warm summer day with the sun beaming down on us. How about that moment when you take that first lick of an ice cream cone? Yumm.

Those moments are priceless.

We can have those now, as adults—we just need to create them. We live in a world of chaos and instant gratification, so it takes a commitment to ourselves to take a step back and slow things down, so we can enjoy every single moment—because right now is all we have.

So, I empower you to try at least one of these amazing techniques to help ground you and help you live in each moment as it comes. It isn’t easy…but over time, it will become easier.

Love and happiness always!

Avesha

Why a solid morning routine could be the key to your happiness

Is this you?

You set your alarm with the intention of hitting the snooze button several times before you actually get up. Do you think this routine is allowing you to sleep longer? Well, you are wrong. All you are doing is prolonging the inevitable and tricking your body into thinking you are getting more sleep, when really you are getting interrupted sleep which is not good for your body at all!

Our body needs peaceful, uninterrupted rest. When you wake up, press snooze and then go back into a short slumber, only to repeat several times, your body does not wake restful, at all.

Now lets talk about a what a nice peaceful morning routine looks like.

  • No snooze.
  • No jumping out of bed in a panic because you hit snooze too many times.
  • No rushing around the house like a madwoman or madman because now you are running late.

Just a nice peaceful easy routine.

How does this sound, awesome, right?

You wake at least 2 hours before you need to be at work. I know, I know, crazy right? But hear me out.

You open the blinds, make your bed and grab a glass of water and drink it immediately.

You make your cup of coffee or tea, let the dog out, grab the morning paper, or whatever it is that you do and then you relax for at least 15 minutes. Drink tea/coffee, read the paper, the news, pet your dog, sit in silence…whatever makes you happy.

Now its time for some exercise. YES, EXERCISE! The key to all things good. Some ideas on how you can get some impactful exercise within a short time frame:

  • walk the dog
  • hop on the treadmill
  • roll out the yoga mat and do some yoga or pilates, simple stretches or even just a plank
  • do some squats
  • ride your bike
  • go for a run

Whatever you enjoy doing….DO IT!

Now its time to get ready….go jump in the shower, take a hot bath and enjoy the moment. Hot water can be VERY healing.

Smoothie time….you can’t leave the house without a healthy morning smoothie to nourish you after such a fantastic morning.

Need a good smoothie recipe?https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/articles/50-smoothies

So, if you have read any of my other articles you have learned that it can take about 21-26 days for a routine like this to become seamless. Routines are only successful when you do not deviate from them. Now the routine I shared above is just an example of a routine that I happen to have implemented in my life and have been consistent with for about 3 years now. It has truly changed my life in so many ways. You can ask my boyfriend, I literally jump out of bed every morning to start my day, while he is the one who hits snooze 43 times and drags himself out of bed. He has yet to even entertain a morning routine but I am hopeful. You can create ANY routine you want. Life is your canvas, design it the way you want it.

I leave you with this, if you are interested in crafting up a cool morning routine that would fit into your life….contact me at aveshaempower@gmail.com to get started ASAP. I will help you, at no cost.

If you are going to tackle this on your own…good luck, it’s truly worth it!

Namaste

Taking care of you….

Taking care of yourself is the most important part of your self care routine. Some people think that we are required to put everyone before us which makes you a “selfless” human being. Newsflash people, being selfless is a horrible thing. It eventually depletes us, makes us angry and bitter and resentful and no matter how selfless we try to be, ultimately we end up feeling the void. Being selfless is a bad thing and not something to be proud of. When you are selfless you are basically saying “I don’t matter”.

Now, you can still be a great mother, wife, friend, employee, etc and put yourself first. In fact, you can be a better friend, wife, mother and employee if you are taking care of yourself, putting boundaries in place and always putting yourself first. You know when you are on an airplane and they say, give yourself oxygen before your child. That’s because without oxygen, you are no good to anyone, same goes for self care and self love, without it, you are no good to anyone…you are not at your best, and you are not acting at 100%.

So, now its time for you to get started on taking care of YOU!!

Please follow this advice and you will be on your way to putting yourself first, taking care of you and being your best self!

  1. never allow anyone to treat you in a way that you deem unfavorable
  2. remove all toxic from your life (when you are able)
  3. recognize what is important in your life and let the rest go
  4. value the good in your life – there is always something to be grateful for
  5. put energy where it belongs and where it can make a difference
  6. eat healthy, nourishing foods but also indulge on things that bring you joy (in moderation)
  7. love deeply, madly and truly without fear and insecurity
  8. understand that life is about lessons and learning them is the key to moving on to the next lesson – do not get stuck
  9. do not keep repeating old behaviors
  10. understand that every day might not be happy
  11. accepting that life’s purpose is sometimes is to just “be”
  12. treat others with kindness (a smile to a stranger goes a long way)
  13. know that happiness lives inside you. Its a hard concept but a true one. Nothing will “make” you happy until you are happy with yourself

For me the hardest concept for me to grasp was that happiness didn’t come from outside sources. I am not overly materialistic so I didn’t look for happiness in “things” per say but I certainly looked for happiness in people. Not only did I believe that someone could make me happy but I also believed I could make someone else happy. Eventually, through repeating the same behaviors (i.e. lessons) over and over I learned that (a) happiness does not come from outside sources (like other people) and (b) I also do not have the power to make someone else happy. I can certainly add to someone’s happiness and bring them moments of joy but in no way am I capable of making someone else happy, that is absolutely not possible.

Do you know someone who is always looking for that next thing that will make them happy?Buying a home, a boat, a car, new clothes, a ring, finding a new job, dating a new boyfriend, planning a trip….these are all things that bring temporary “joy” to a person, but they do not bring deep happiness.

Now I am sure you have met or know someone who appears to have very little but they seem content with themselves and what they have? They don’t long for much. They are grateful for what they have and you can feel it. Here is a secret…they don’t have very little, they have everything they need.

That is true happiness…and something we all should strive for.

Every day isn’t a picnic and some days are much harder than others. I don’t expect you to walk around thinking life is just magical, when it just isn’t.

However, what I would like you to do is start putting yourself first. By making yourself a priority you are saying to other people “I am worthy” and then they will start treating you the same.

How can we get you to start today?

Contact me at aveshaempower@gmail.com today if you would like to start your healing and self love journey!

Love and light!

Avesha

Never let anyone own your soul

Your soul is yours, do not give it away.

It may seem like a simple statement, but it isn’t. In many circumstances we give our soul away to someone who doesn’t deserve it.

Whether its a relationship, family, a business partner, or a friend, sometimes we let someone own us and control us without even realizing it.

We lose ourselves, we become someone we don’t recognize. This happens, over time.

Until one day we open our eyes and ask ourselves, what happened, how did I get here and how do I change this.

My advice to you is….implement a reset. Take a break from the relationship, sit back and see how they respond, then create boundaries. No matter what, do not let anyone treat you in a way that does not feel good. Do not let anyone speak to you in a manner in which is not respectful or kind. Do not give anyone the power to make you feel less than.

I have posted many articles about self love and self care. This love is the key to setting your boundaries and feeling comfortable doing so. It is very hard to create boundaries when you don’t have the self worth or belief that you are worthy of amazing treatment.

Here is the thing…you are!

So browse through my many self love and self care articles if you need help with this and start your journey now. If you would like to set up one on one coaching to get you on the right track, contact us today at aveshaempower@gmail.com

Namaste!

My life today…

I have read and written a number of articles, blogs, stories, etc. about self – love and self – care. I consider myself a “self proclaimed” expert in this area (as there really is no such thing as a certified expert). What started my journey to self – love and self – care is an all too familiar story of loss, pain and a desperate need for self discovery. Although this was such a painful process in so many ways, it was truly one of the best experiences of my life.

What did I learn?

I learned that this journey is never ending. Once you start – it never stops. Your mind opens to continuous learning and discovery about yourself, others and the world around you…it is truly an endless road to discovery. I love it!

I started the healing process when I was in a very dark place. I had been repeating negative and harmful patterns my entire life and although from the outside I looked like I had it all together – the truth was I was wearing a mask – like so many people do.

I experienced a specific trauma about 3 years ago that forced me to open my eyes to my life, myself, those around me and how I was truly living which was definitely not authentically – and I realized something had to give or I would be repeating these behaviors and making these types of choice for the rest of my life.

I had been living with massive anxiety all my life, I had shallow relationships, I didn’t trust myself or others, I was consumed by jealousy and perfection…it was such an awful place to be. At this point in my life I was ready to remove the mask and find myself.

So the process began….with a lot of fear and even more anxiety. The unknown can be much scarier than anything you are currently dealing with, but I was determined to confront my demons and fix what was broken inside me no matter how long it took (which wasn’t very long in my case because I was so dedicated).

So for anyone who wants to take this journey, I suggest you commit fully, give it more than 100% and know that the outcome and reward is so much greater than anything you are currently experiencing. Do not let fear own, let it drive you! Fear is fabricated, we create it in our minds. It is a boundary and it is senseless. You cannot fully live if you are in fear.

My journey brought me on many different paths….isolation, giving up old friends, going off social media, therapy, Yoga, mindfulness, meditation, coaching, energy healing, mediums, IED, Reiki, you name it, I did it. These things are INCREDIBLE! My advice, be open to anything and the right things will come to you. Never close your mind off to anything.

I loved all of my healing modalities so much I started practicing them…. taking classes, getting certified, etc. I became a certified Spiritual and Life Coach with a specific set of skills which is focused on healing trauma and working with the inner self.

In any event, all of these experiences have taught me so much. The first lesson I learned which was the most important is to accept myself and my past. Every decision I have made has brought me to where I am today and I am grateful. Each experience has been a lesson and from what I learned the Universe will keep bringing you the same lesson over and over until you learn it. So pay attention and learn the lesson so you can move on to the next one.

The Universe will keep bringing you the same lesson over and over until you learn it!

The second lesson is….you are not your past, accept your past and move on from it. Do not ruminate about bad decisions or things you can’t fix or change. Stop focusing on the relationship you lost because truthfully it wasn’t meant to last otherwise it would have.

Focus on the NOW!

Third lesson….every day you are given a gift of a clean slate…because “every day you are born again”. So every single day you wake up….express gratitude that you have been given a new day and a clean slate to start fresh.

Fourth lesson…you are who and what you surround yourself with. You are the Director of your life. Choose the participants wisely. Trust your intuition. Surround yourself with amazing people. Never accept anything less than what makes you feel good. Think before you put yourself in a situation that may be harmful or that might not safe.

Start honoring yourself, read this article on where to begin: https://www.elephantjournal.com/now/ways-to-honor-yourself/

You teach people how to treat you!

Fifth lesson….love yourself first and be confident. The most important character in a person is a healthy confidence, everything else comes after that. What do healthy people look for in a partner and friend? someone who feels good about themselves, someone who is not consumed by drama and someone who respects themselves. Remember like attracts like!

I wrote this article about self love and I am confident it can help anyone struggling to find themselves: https://www.elephantjournal.com/now/how-to-practice-self-love-daily/

Sixth lesson…..get involved in healthy things. Take up a new hobby, work out, learn something new. I find the people that are the unhealthiest do not have any true passions or interests. Start a new project, garden, bike ride, take up fly fishing, go kayaking, blog, paint, golf….the list is endless and there is so much to enjoy out there. These are also great ways to manage anxiety and work through depression. Get moving, get active, get out there, get healthy.

Below is an article I wrote in the Elephant Journal on easing anxiety and stress: https://www.elephantjournal.com/now/5-simple-grounding-exercises-to-ease-anxiety-the-stress-of-daily-life/

These lessons I have shared in this article are just the tip of the iceberg. I have truly learned so much about myself, life and what truly matters. The bottom line is that life is too short to spend it repeating the same senseless habits over and over expecting a different result (that is insanity, right?).

So what is life for me like today? Well, I am balanced, I have amazing coping skills, I have learned what to let go of and where to put my energy. I am a better mother, friend, employee and girlfriend and although there are some rough days – days I am triggered, days where my hormones are raging and things don’t make sense and moments where my insecurity takes over but the good news is I am able to step back, assess where I am at and what my needs are and reset. I think the biggest key to all of this are my strong coping skills. Life happens and there will always be something that upsets us or triggers us. The key is to not let these things consume you.

Our mind can be our biggest enemy and if we can learn to control our thoughts and not let them take over, we can reset and balance ourselves so things don’t spiral. This is where taking space comes in. Know when you need some time for yourself. In that time, when I am feeling overwhelmed, anxious, confused or my mind starts to take over…..I take a step back, go for a walk, garden (love touching the earth when I am anxious), blog, do Yoga or just lay on my mat. This space you take from the moment is a gift to yourself. When I do these things, I tend to be able to ease myself right out of the current issue and move forward.

So this is me, three years later, continuing my journey of loving myself and those around me, deeply and in a healthy way.

If you would like to know more about my journey or create a path for yourself, please go to the Contact Us page and leave me a message. I would be happy to help you.

Please share this post on your Social Media pages if you feel this story or any of my writings could help someone 🙂

Be Well!

Fitness Over Forty – get balanced

Hormones got you down?

Feeling like you are on a constant roller coaster?

PMS a thing for you?

Time to try a few things to get you balanced and in a good place, physically and emotionally.

I suffer terribly from PMS – or whatever they call it now. I know my body so well I can predict almost every symptom I am going to feel and when.

It all starts about 10 days before my period is due (although its always late, which I am now able to predict). My symptoms starts with agitation, then some anger, a whole lot of anxiety and then I finish it off with some weeping and sobbing 🙂 Sadly this is not something I can control, the emotions seem to just take over. However, the good news is that I recognize the onset and am able to work through most of these feelings and keep them at bay with the following:

  1. Yoga, Pilates and Barre – mat exercises are literally a cure for PMS bloat and emotional rollercoaster rides. The floor exercises help to bring down inflammation. Belly breathing helps with the anxiety and getting the heart rate pumping with some low impact pilates and barre moves help to get the endorphins kicking. A good session over 20 minutes will bring immediate relief.
  2. Change your diet – cutting back on alcohol, sugar and salt and adding more protein, fruits, and raw veggies can help prevent inflammation and of course…a morning smoothie is a fantastic way to start your day. Adding supplements such as a B Complex, Magnesium and EPO (evening primrose oil) can also reduce PMS symptoms.
  3. Cardio – however you can – do it! Take a walk, bike ride, hike, jog or swim. Cardio gets the heart rate up and kick starts your metabolism as well as your endorphins which help combat the emotional rollercoaster feeling as well as the bloating and fatigue.
  4. Get more sleep – as you start to hit peri-menopause your sleep cycle will starts to change and can even become erratic. It is important that our bodies get a restful nights sleep. Try meditation before bed. Implement a no screentime before bed rule (to avoid mental stimulation) and do not eat or drink anything after 7 pm to avoid your body having to metabolize. In addition, there are many good yoga sequences that help put your body in relaxed state which will prepare you for sleepy time.
  5. Have sex – yep, its true, sex can help with bloating and cramping…look it up!
  6. Reduce your stress – however you can, you must get a handle on your stress level. Don’t take on more than you can handle. Set realistic expectations of yourself and others and take time out of your schedule for YOU and only YOU every day!
  7. Keep a journal which tracks your cycle – this will help you know what to expect and when. This is how you stay sane 🙂

I hope these tips are helpful to you as you navigate your journey to a more balanced life.

Contact me at aveshaempower@gmail.com if you would like to set up a coaching session.

Have some of your own tips on how to balance your life a bit? I would love to hear from you below 🙂

Think this info would be helpful to someone else, please share on your social media pages. Spread the word and maybe we will help someone else.