I found that because of my past, I was punishing myself by not allowing myself to enjoy the little things in life. I had spent the past 45 years of my life just getting by. It has really been in the past year that I have slowed down and noticed things. I will tell you, the Universe does tell you when you need to do this. It nudges you to be more mindful when you are stuck inside your own head. It is easy to walk around thinking about the things you need to do. Easy to focus on what you don’t have in life. It takes the desire for change to switch that mindset into a more focused and positive one. Simply said, it takes work to be a mindful person.
So one part of my beautiful journey has been to spoil myself a little. The thought being if I don’t spoil myself, how do I expect anyone else to spoil me? (When I say spoiled, I mean it in a very humble sense. I believe all couples should spoil each other.)
In the past, I always chose relationships where I expected and received nothing in return. I would complain, but truthfully I created the relationship to be what it was, one sided. I simply didn’t feel I was worth spoiling. So I dated and even married men that refused to celebrate my birthday, made every holiday something to dread and if I ever wanted flowers on Valentines Day….forget it, it wasn’t worth the struggle.
This Journey has taught me that everyone is worth spoiling and that includes me. Every woman (and man) deserves to be loved, cared for and treated with respect and with that should come a little spoiling!
This includes receiving random love notes, birthday gifts, special cards for no reason, flowers on Valentines Day and any other day for that matter, a coffee in bed, forget me not gifts, etc. Whatever your version of spoiling is, you deserve it.
So here is what I have learned:
- NEVER let anyone tell you that you don’t deserve these things
- NEVER let anyone make you feel bad for wanting them
- NEVER let anyone define your self worth
- NEVER settle for someone who doesn’t make you feel alive, beautiful and special
- NEVER give yourself to someone who won’t spoil you (and visa versa)
Remember, you are unique, every single one of you. There is only one of you and that’s what makes you incredible.
I encourage you to read my previous blog How well do you know yourself (and as a follow up to that blog I will be posting a mini-workshop blog about getting to know yourself – which may also help you.)
So my favorite things as of today are my orange yoga mat, a new lavender vanilla candle (I just bought myself), essential oils (today my favorite is Clary Sage), my balance bracelet I purchased off of Etsy and my journal.
In addition, I love getting massages, having energy work, angel cards, medium readings and getting my nails and hair done. I love pampering myself with Epsom salt baths, restorative yoga, at home facials and oil rubs. These are the things that we can do for ourselves every day that say I love you…and this is critical for our well-being. As you have heard and as I have said in previous posts, if you do not love yourself, how can anyone else truly love you?
So they say you can tell how a person feels about themselves by the way they look and behave. My advice, and I say this from experience…. honor yourself, take care of your body and your mind and never settle for less than you deserve. Spoil yourself. Buy yourself that new makeup, run a bath and put Epsom salt and lavender essential oil in the water, go get your nails done, take a yoga class, buy yourself flowers. Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.
You deserve it!
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