What seemed like a perfect story book romance – two childhood best friends reuniting and forming a beautiful bond and eventually getting married – (with many red flags which I ignored) ended up being a complete nightmare for every single person involved. It took me years to figure out what the issue was. There was clearly addiction – check, for sure mental illness – check, some PTSD ok we can go there – check…but at the end of the day none of those issues were the root cause of what was going on in our “cycle”, there was more. It wasn’t until the final straw that broke the camels back that I started to figure it out.
It was severe narcissism.
I had NO idea what narcissism was. I had heard the term and had even heard him use it to describe his ex-wife, but in no way did I have any idea how bad of a thing it was/is and that I was living and married to the most dangerous narcissist that could possibly exist (ok maybe not the most dangerous but close and definitely in my world he is).
It was only then that my healing began.
It has been a very long, deep-dark and painful road to healing and recovery. Thank God there is so much information out there for one to research and read because it really does help.
My two favorite forums for narcissistic recovery are:
Let me tell you, during my “withdraw” stage I read and joined every single article and forum out there trying to figure out how to get out of the hell I was living. I also learned I did not want to end up like a lot of the women in that forum. So many of those women are broken, with no options (emotionally or financially) and have to stay for many reasons whether it be fear, children, finances, health etc. Thankfully we had no children together, I have my own career and income and I had my own resources and support network so I had options and every single day of my life I am grateful for that.
I vowed to myself once I got through the healing process and graduated trauma therapy I would dedicate myself to helping others. There are so many resources out there which help you identify what narcissism is, when you are being abused, and what you should do (GET THE HELL OUT), but I recognized that there are few resources that help the people who have little options like little to no financial resources, no support system, health issues, etc. Some are so beaten down that they don’t have the energy or the motivation to fight for a healthier life. They are so riddled with fear and abandonment that even if they have the financial means to leave they don’t.
My goal is to empower these women to help themselves to become strong enough to leave. I want them to walk out that door knowing they are taking care of themselves (and their children) and setting an example for all women out there that this type of abuse will no longer be tolerated.
These women need support and guidance. They need to know the basics, where to start, how to gain their confidence and esteem back, how to fix their financial situation, how to prepare their children, where to begin with their journey of self-love and healing and most of all how to keep the fear at bay so they won’t return to the cycle of abuse.
If you are experiencing this type of abuse, you are not alone. If you know someone in this situation, you can support them and encourage them to get help.
Contact me for an initial consultation to create a healing plan so we can get you on your Journey to a healthier life.
No one has to live with Narcissistic abuse.