Life is this intricate tapestry filled with many different patterns that ultimately take their own unique twists and turns to create the design, as you follow the tapestries threads from the back they look jumbled..tied together and knotted with no real purpose. However, when you turn the tapestry over, you see exactly what each thread was meant for, the tapestry is telling a story through its design.
Just like a tapestry, life has its unique thread pattern (the Journey) and we aren’t always sure why our Journey takes those crazy and unexpected turns nor are we always prepared for them but somehow we end up adjusting to them as we navigated through life. Some of these experiences are good, some bad, some straight up hellish, most are eventful and useful, and a majority are not worthy of noting. Rest assured, there is always a reason for them. This is the beauty of our Journey, the tapestry of life.
My life has not been a fairy tale story by any means, it has been crazy in more ways than I can ever share. I can honestly say there were times when I questioned my sanity as well as my decision making and I often wonder how I survived a lot of my experiences. There are moments where I look back and think, wow, I could have died or why I wasn’t scared? Hence my deep dive into Spirituality and Buddhism. I truly believe I belong here and am slowly learning my purpose.
In any event, I was fearless and restless..desperately wanting to experience life (and fear). I would hop on a train and travel 28 hours away knowing no one was there to get me when I got off the train and having no real plan once the train stopped. When I met my first husband, I knew him three weeks and moved to Florida with him, without a second thought. We lived in an all male dorm (he snuck me in), I shared a bathroom with 20+ men from all over the world (so gross) and barely knew my boyfriend. However as I look back and think…what was I thinking, my next thought is….I am so grateful for that amazing experience. I have many stories like this…being fearless and restless can put you in some unique situations.
Today, I am 45 and am fearful. I know too much now. I respect my life in a much different way than I did before. Maybe maturity changes us because but I am much more thoughtful when making life choices as I understand that I have much to lose by making bad decisions. I understand the concept of consequences.
It is now that I look back and think without these stories….what do we have? Without the crazy “I survived ______” stories or the dreadful dating stories, and the stories of the tough years and financial comebacks, what do we tell when we get older? However, I have now entered the second half of my life and although I want to create more good stories, I want them to be healthier ones.
I always say…when I am sitting in the nursing home reciting tales of my crazy life I will have some pretty incredible stories to tell. Stories of love and loss, recklessness, bad choices, great choices, good and bad moments, the people the experiences, even the smells and the sounds….this is really all we have, isn’t it?
So when you go on that bad date or you experience a crazy situation or hurdle through a tough time or significant loss know that this is all part of your story! Not only are you supposed to learn a lesson from it…you have a very cool story to tell. Stories of recovery, triumph, loss, happiness, sadness, grief and of course funny and happy stories.
Never settle for mediocre, never take the easy road, do something that makes you feel alive and always tell your story with passion.