During a session with my therapist we discussed relationships, past and potential. When he asked me what I wanted, I told him I had received exactly what I had asked for…my ex-husband. I shared that I felt like I went to a counter, ordered my person and they delivered him to me exactly how I described. Kind of like when you order at Starbucks and they nail it, amazing feeling right?
As I described how my ex-husband entered my life….my therapist said “wow, that sounds magical” and my response was “oh yes, it was”. In all reality, the way I tell the story, it does sound quite magical, however, magical isn’t always reality.
So this is why I go to therapy <smiles>. My therapist says to me, “well that certainly is magical, but let me give you a pragmatic perspective”. So we went on to what I like to call deep dive and break down every little detail that I considered magical, with his pragmatic approach. Sure enough, I had completely dramatized the entire relationship…from the beginning of our courtship to the demise of our marriage. He apologized for busting my magical bubble, but I was OK with it, very much so. The reality was refreshing.
I absorbed that conversation as I got home and started to really process the reality of the nine years I spent with this person. I used the pragmatic approach and found that the reality was much different than the fantasy I had created. The boy meets girl story….wasn’t so magical, in fact it was quite dysfunctional and if I were who that girl today on the day that he entered my life…things would be much different. Thank God for therapy, self-love and time alone.
That being said, pragmatic might be my favorite word right now as I have taken off my rose colored glasses and I am committed to using this approach in all areas of my life. I am ready to see things for what they really are vs. what we make them out to be or how we may perceive them may although that may not be what the reality of the situation actually is. Perspective is good which is why having a trusted therapist or Life Coach is such a blessing and critical when you are working to change your life’s path.
So today I encourage you to deep dive into your life and be pragmatic about the details – ask yourself, am I in reality or is this magical thinking.
**As always, if you are interested in scheduling a free Life Coaching session please Contact Avesha Empower today**