Today is my mental – day one – in manifesting my most precious desire (notice I didn’t say..need) – a healthy, supportive and loving relationship.
For so long, like ever, I have attracted and engaged in very unhealthy relationships and yes by now we all know why…I had not healed my childhood wounds and I was completely re-enacting my childhood trauma (the horrible relationship with my father – yep “daddy issues”) by choosing these completely unavailable and unhealthy men to play the part so I could continuously try to heal my inner child stuff.
Well that tactic failed and might I say miserably so after this last traumatic episode I chose to heal those wounds once and for all.
Thanks to EMDR and a number of other healing modalities I have made it over the bridge and feel like a totally and completely different person. In fact I know I am a different person because I hear that statement all the time.
It feels good to know that I am no longer living as that little wounded girl and I have come to peace with many things including forgiving myself for some really bad choices.
We all make mistakes, the goal is to learn from them and move on without repeating them.
Sometimes it takes something MASSIVE to happen that shakes us and spits us on out the sidewalk for us to finally get that things have to change. Thankfully there is always time for change, no matter how old you are.
So now that I am living in the calm, as I like to call it….I am feeling like that next step in life would be to have what I have NEVER experienced and that would be a healthy loving and supportive relationship with someone who is completely capable.
WHAT A CONCEPT HUH?
So it took a series of steps to get here. Starting with breaking away from the narcissist and removing any and all toxic & unhealthy people from my life. BRILLIANT DECISION!
Everything after that just fell into place.
So here is what I have learned:
- Self love is for real and it’s awesome. This is the FIRST and most critical step to manifesting someone healthy and capable. If you want more info on this see my many self love posts in this blog.
- Be whatever it is you want to manifest. You want someone healthy, you have to be healthy yourself, you want someone honest and loyal, be that. You want someone interested in fitness…workout and take care of yourself. You want someone who is emotionally available..you have to BE emotionally available and capable of intimacy. It’s THAT FREAKIN SIMPLE.
- Do not settle. Period.
- Make room for him/her. Do not keep yourself so busy (one version of void filling) that you don’t have time for someone to come into your life.
- Be clear on the type of person you wish to share your life with. After self love this is the most critical. You don’t have to be too specific but know what you want in a person. This is key in manifesting the right person.
- Be patient and trust in the process. The Universe is always listening. Sometimes we confuse her. If one moment we are longing for love and the next minute we keep ourselves so busy we close ourselves off…she won’t know what to make of it. Be clear.
- Know that what you get isn’t always what you envision but trust the Universe knows what is right for you. Sometimes it can come in a different package than we had constructed in our minds. That is OK.
- Enjoy your life. You do not have to scour tinder and match to find your partner. Sometimes you can just be doing something you love and they will walk into your world. Embrace it.
Remember, being single and happy is better than being in a relationship and being miserable. I learned this the hard way.
If your goal is to manifest someone wonderful, I encourage you to take these steps.
Good luck and enjoy!