I haven’t written in a few days mainly because I have been dealing with intense muscle knots that have turned into a perceived pinched nerve. Let’s just say I have gone a little koo koo trying to figure out how to “fix” me and feel better.
During my meditation yesterday I started sobbing…you know that uncontrollable sobbing that cleanses your soul? I realized at that moment what the knots are.
Deep emotional pain.
Once the sobbing subsided, I created my intention for my yoga practice. It was to let go of my past and to forgive myself for bad decisions as well as forgive those who have hurt me, even intentionally.
After my meditation and yoga practice I took a hot bath with lavender, frankincense and Epsom salt. Afterwards, I felt so free…cleansed…and much lighter. However by the time I settled down for the evening, my knots had returned and I experienced another sleepless night.
The next day, by late morning I made space for some meditation and a bit of yoga. Once I hit the mat, got into position and lit the sage…tears started pouring down my face again. Ahhh, more emotional pain. So I let it all out and allowed myself to feel and process whatever I needed to and then I resumed the meditation.
My lesson….healing just like grief is not linear, it is a roller coaster of emotions and feelings.
Trauma doesn’t disappear, it only fades, and I am also learning that I must manage it closely forever. Time alone does nothing, what I do with that time is everything!
Healing takes patience, persistence, commitment and courage.
Meditation, therapy, energy work, writing, creativity, feeling your feelings are all modalities to healing properly and regaining all that you lost and finding what you never had.
Although this is truly so much work, the benefits are worth the struggle.
They say you are your thoughts and that is 100% the truth. What you do think about, you bring about. So even when you are blue, I encourage you to focus on what you do have, I empower you to be your best self and to allow yourself to feel what you are meant to feel so you can move forward.
I am doing it right along with you.
Love, light and empowerment