Taking care of you….

Taking care of yourself is the most important part of your self care routine. Some people think that we are required to put everyone before us which makes you a “selfless” human being. Newsflash people, being selfless is a horrible thing. It eventually depletes us, makes us angry and bitter and resentful and no matter how selfless we try to be, ultimately we end up feeling the void. Being selfless is a bad thing and not something to be proud of. When you are selfless you are basically saying “I don’t matter”.

Now, you can still be a great mother, wife, friend, employee, etc and put yourself first. In fact, you can be a better friend, wife, mother and employee if you are taking care of yourself, putting boundaries in place and always putting yourself first. You know when you are on an airplane and they say, give yourself oxygen before your child. That’s because without oxygen, you are no good to anyone, same goes for self care and self love, without it, you are no good to anyone…you are not at your best, and you are not acting at 100%.

So, now its time for you to get started on taking care of YOU!!

Please follow this advice and you will be on your way to putting yourself first, taking care of you and being your best self!

  1. never allow anyone to treat you in a way that you deem unfavorable
  2. remove all toxic from your life (when you are able)
  3. recognize what is important in your life and let the rest go
  4. value the good in your life – there is always something to be grateful for
  5. put energy where it belongs and where it can make a difference
  6. eat healthy, nourishing foods but also indulge on things that bring you joy (in moderation)
  7. love deeply, madly and truly without fear and insecurity
  8. understand that life is about lessons and learning them is the key to moving on to the next lesson – do not get stuck
  9. do not keep repeating old behaviors
  10. understand that every day might not be happy
  11. accepting that life’s purpose is sometimes is to just “be”
  12. treat others with kindness (a smile to a stranger goes a long way)
  13. know that happiness lives inside you. Its a hard concept but a true one. Nothing will “make” you happy until you are happy with yourself

For me the hardest concept for me to grasp was that happiness didn’t come from outside sources. I am not overly materialistic so I didn’t look for happiness in “things” per say but I certainly looked for happiness in people. Not only did I believe that someone could make me happy but I also believed I could make someone else happy. Eventually, through repeating the same behaviors (i.e. lessons) over and over I learned that (a) happiness does not come from outside sources (like other people) and (b) I also do not have the power to make someone else happy. I can certainly add to someone’s happiness and bring them moments of joy but in no way am I capable of making someone else happy, that is absolutely not possible.

Do you know someone who is always looking for that next thing that will make them happy?Buying a home, a boat, a car, new clothes, a ring, finding a new job, dating a new boyfriend, planning a trip….these are all things that bring temporary “joy” to a person, but they do not bring deep happiness.

Now I am sure you have met or know someone who appears to have very little but they seem content with themselves and what they have? They don’t long for much. They are grateful for what they have and you can feel it. Here is a secret…they don’t have very little, they have everything they need.

That is true happiness…and something we all should strive for.

Every day isn’t a picnic and some days are much harder than others. I don’t expect you to walk around thinking life is just magical, when it just isn’t.

However, what I would like you to do is start putting yourself first. By making yourself a priority you are saying to other people “I am worthy” and then they will start treating you the same.

How can we get you to start today?

Contact me at aveshaempower@gmail.com today if you would like to start your healing and self love journey!

Love and light!


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