Most of the problems I have had, I have created

Imagine that, having the courage to admit that all your decisions are your own. That what you have been through isn’t anyone else’s fault but your own. Every choice, every action, every decision, was yours?

That bad relationship, did you choose it and if you stayed, was it your choice? Now, I am sure you will tell me, you couldn’t leave, you were frightened of him, the circumstances or quite simply to be alone and start over. I get it, I was there. Circumstances make it rough to leave, to start over, move on, and even envision a happy life. But its possible.


Maybe you were/are so embedded in the relationship drama, it became your dynamic, it simply defined you. Either way, it is/was your choice to stay or go. You stay(ed), for whatever reason, valid or not, it is/was a choice.

How about staying at a job you hate or staying friends with someone you no longer can tolerate, simply out of habit or fear or even comfort. There really is comfort in the known. The unknown scares people and therefore they stay with what they know and what they can expect.

In life we have options, most of the time and I mean that, most of the time we have the ability to choose our own path and our destiny. In very few situations we may not be in control of our situation. Those cases are something I cannot speak to, and I am not implying by any means that anyone’s situation is a “fault” or even trivial, but most of the time they are our choices.

I am huge on intuition, I have started to live by it when, quite frankly, I used to ignore it. I have spoken about intuition in my other blogs and have pointed out what intuition looks and feels like for those who don’t recognize it. Intuition is your inner voice . It comes to you in many ways but most of the time it comes in the form of a gut ache, screaming at you, and if intuition could speak it would say NO!! Stop!! Don’t do it!!

We have ALL had that gut wrenching ache when we are about to do something that deep down we KNOW is wrong but we do it anyway. Like, sleeping with someone we know won’t call us in the morning, taking a job that we know we will hate, buying a home we know won’t work for our entire family, spending money we do not have, going to a party we know we shouldn’t go to, etc.

Accountability for our actions is key to making good decisions going forward. Its not the mistake that we should regret, its how we handle it and move forward that matters. So, my friends, my most sound advice I can give you is, do not ever play the blame game. Do not ever dodge accountability….just f’ing own it. Own every choice you make, every decision good and bad and every screw up! OWN IT! When you own it, you can change it. Do not blame your mother, your father, your shitty childhood, your boyfriend, the weather, your boss, your period…just OWN IT!

When you own it, you can fix it, change it, and make it better so that you don’t make the same mistakes over and over again expecting a different result. Yes, that is the definition of insanity, isn’t it?

What’s almost worse than insanity is being oblivious to your own actions and deflecting responsibility. When you do this, there is absolutely no room for growth. So, how do you change this mindset if you have it, be open, remove defensiveness and focus on learning the lesson you were meant to learn. We are all here to learn and I am sure you have heard this before, its not the destination, its the journey and how you get there that really matters.

We have this one life, why not live it in a healthy way.

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Love, light, happiness, peace and contentment!


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