If she pursues him, don’t get in her way.

She will be relentless, she will stop at nothing to get him. The more you try to hold on, the more she will want him. She doesn’t care about you or how you feel. She doesn’t care she is breaking up a family, friendships, destroying bonds and wrecking a home. She cares about one thing, getting what you have. This turns her on, this gives her purpose, this makes her feel like she is special. He is leaving his wife for her, she feels amazing. She is chosen.

If he can’t decide what he wants, decide for him, let him go. Do not play their game. Do not listen to their lies. Do not feed into their dysfunction, let them both go.

You deserve better than someone who would cheat on you, lie to you and hurt you in a way that nothing else can. Cheating isn’t only about the sex, its about what goes on in an affair. The sneaking around, the stories, the lies, the deception. As women, we KNOW something isn’t right but we tell ourselves to ignore our gut, that he is just busy at work, has a lot on his mind, is pre-occupied, or whatever.

We tell ourselves this crap to try to make it better, but we can’t, because deep down we know. We feel it. We ask them but they assure us they would never, OR they get mad at us for even suggesting. Meanwhile, despite them denying, we know they are. It is the most horrible feeling in the world, knowing something is happening but truly not wanting to know. Hoping it just goes away. Hoping the truth never surfaces, but…it does. Even though you don’t ask for it, it surfaces…sometimes in a way you really can’t digest or even comprehend, even years later. This shit never leaves you.

Don’t fight for him, don’t chase him, don’t beg him to leave her. Don’t threaten him and tell him you are leaving. All of these actions excite them. This is what feeds them. Validates them. They like this shit.

This is their sick game, this is how they validate each other, this is what feeds their relationship. Once you are gone, they will keep doing it with others. This is their dynamic. This isn’t a relationship based on love, its one based on lies, deceit, anxiety, addiction, dysfunction and pain. They feed off the pain of others, probably because they themselves are hurting.

They are addicted to the feeling, the excitement, the fear of getting caught, the unknown, the potential outcome of it all.

Just know, he doesn’t really stop talking to her, and she never goes away. If she stays in the game, she knows she will win.

So please, extract yourself from this web of dysfunction. Take care of yourself. Love yourself. Want more for yourself. Know that you have control over this situation even though you feel helpless.

Remember….hurt people…hurt people. Its simple.

Self love, self care is step one to healing from this mess.

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