I found that because of my past, I truly was not allowing myself to enjoy the little things in life. I had spent so much of my time just getting by, living day to day, not present. It really has been in the past two years that I have slowed down and noticed this about myself and I will tell you, the Universe does let you know that is it time to do this and take action. The Universe “nudges” you to be more mindful when you are stuck inside your own head (and trust me when I say, these “nudges” can come in many unexpected ways).
It is easy to walk around thinking and even obsessing about things that you need to get done, etc. It is also very easy to focus on what you don’t have in life; and it takes the desire for change to switch that mindset into a more focused, positive and mindful one. Simply said, it takes work to be a mindful person.
So one of the first steps I took on this beautiful journey of mindfulness and gratitude for the little things has been to spoil myself! The thought being is….if I don’t spoil myself, how do I expect anyone else to spoil me? (and when I say spoiled, I mean it in a very humble sense. I believe all couples should spoil each other.)
In the past, I always chose relationships where I expected and received nothing in return. I would complain, but truthfully I created the relationship to be what it was, one sided. I simply didn’t feel I was worth spoiling. So I dated and even married men that refused to celebrate my birthday, made every holiday something to dread and if I ever wanted flowers on Valentines Day….forget it, it wasn’t worth the struggle.
This Journey has taught me that is everyone is worth spoiling and that includes me! Every woman (and man) deserves to be loved, cared for and treated with respect and with that should come a little spoiling!
This includes receiving random love notes, birthday gifts, special cards for no reason, flowers on Valentines Day and any other day for that matter, a coffee in bed, forget me not gifts, etc. Whatever your version of spoiling is, know that you deserve it.
So here is what I have learned:
- NEVER let anyone tell you that you don’t deserve these things
- NEVER let anyone make you feel bad for wanting them
- NEVER let anyone define your self worth
- NEVER settle for someone who doesn’t make you feel alive, beautiful and special
- NEVER give yourself to someone who won’t spoil you (and visa versa)
- NEVER stop spoiling yourself
And then there is this:
- ALWAYS focus on being mindful
- ALWAYS be grateful for the little things
- ALWAYS spoil those you are with
- ALWAYS appreciate the good in yourself and others
- ALWAYS spread good vibes wherever you are
Remember, you are unique just because you are YOU and there is no one else like you and that’s what makes you incredible.
I encourage you to read my previous blog How well do you know yourself (and as a follow up to that blog I will be posting a mini-workshop blog about getting to know yourself – which may also help you.)
So my favorite little things as of today are my orange yoga mat, a new lavender vanilla candle (I just bought myself), essential oils (today my favorite is Clary Sage), my balance bracelet I purchased off of Etsy and my journal. In addition to the little things are the not so little things and that would be my beautiful dog Luke (see photo below), my amazing boyfriend and my two incredible teenage boys. Love!!
In addition, I love gardening, getting massages, having energy work done, angel cards, medium readings, and getting my nails and hair done. I love pampering myself with Epsom salt baths, restorative yoga, at home facials and oil rubs. These are the things that we can do for ourselves every day that say I love you…and this is critical for our well-being. As you have heard and as I have said in previous posts, if you do not love yourself, how can anyone else truly love you?
So they say you can tell how a person feels about themselves by the way they look and behave. My advice, and I say this from experience…. honor yourself, take care of your body and your mind and never settle for less than you deserve. Spoil yourself. Buy yourself that new makeup, run a bath and put Epsom salt and lavender essential oil in the water, go get your nails done, take a yoga class, buy yourself flowers.
Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.
You deserve it!
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