Happiness is fleeting and in our control

I did an entire week long series focused on happiness a couple of months ago. Doing so really made me dig deep about my feelings regarding happiness and how we obtain it.

The past few weeks I have been struggling with being consistently happy and that has bothered me. I don’t like when I am in a “funk”, it makes me feel ungrateful and I worry that if I am not happy, I must not be grateful and therefore I don’t appreciate the good in my life, which means I could lose it.

So the cycle begins.

Then I thought, stop….I am a coach for God Sakes and what do I teach my clients?

I teach them that happiness is a choice and it is in our control, to an extent, but happiness is also fleeting. Not every single day can be a good one. There are external components that affect our level of happiness such as the world around us, other people, different energies and of course hormones.

Happiness is in our control and if we are mentally stable and not struggling with mental health issues most of the time we can choose to be happy just by focusing on the good we have in our lives. Actions like writing in your gratitude journal, meditating, talking to your coach or simply stating out loud what you are happy for can really change your perspective and outlook.

If you are struggling, if you are having a down day, if you feel a little unmotivated or uninspired, that is OK and not only is it OK, it is completely normal. We really aren’t meant to walk around acting as if bad days don’t exist, because they do.

Right now I am struggling with the beginning of empty nest syndrome as well as hormonal changes…yay me! I normally am a very happy soul, pretty content, super mindful and able to see the magic in just about anything but lately that hasn’t been the case. I am also struggling with aging, with time passing by at light speed, at losses I have experienced throughout my life, at my lack on confidence in certain areas of my life, as well as experiencing hormonal fluctuations, and a myriad of other things.

It is in these moments that I am allowing myself to feel however I am feeling. If i need to cry, I cry, if I need to be alone, I seek alone time, if I need a friend, I reach out.

The important thing is that I understand I am still a happy person, I still love my life, I am still super grateful for all that I have but I am struggling with normal life challenges and that is OK.

I was trying to bury these feelings by keeping busy and challenging myself, but it wasn’t working so I have simply surrendered to how I am feeling and that helps me to work through these challenges and focus on changing my perspective and finding solutions.

I share this with you in hopes that if you are struggling with “happiness” that you take a moment to truly understand what that means and know that happiness is a state of being but feeling happy is fleeting…and that is OK.



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