Many years ago I heard the term “inner child” which I found to be quite an intriguing concept and one that I would have loved to explore, however, I didn’t give it much thought and actually dismissed it.
After my first divorce, being left with two very small children to raise on my own I decided to seek therapy to help me work through my emotions and feelings. There, my therapist re-introduced me to the term “inner child” and I started to embrace and explore this new concept with her guidance. This wonderful woman who was working with me chose to use a technique that I will never forget…and there we were, embracing my inner child.
Unfortunately, I changed jobs and my insurance didn’t cover her services since she was out of network and as a single mother I could not afford to pay for the treatment on my own, so despite the fact that we were making awesome progress, I had to stop seeing her, which to this day I regret.
I continued on my life’s path doing the best I could with what I felt I was given, but as I kept going unfortunately these paths became more difficult and toxic, I can now see, its because I was not listening to my inner child.
She was there, begging me to make better choices, nudging me when something wasn’t right, exploding in moments where I was not listening to her, she was always there and sadly, I chose to ignore her.
Fast forward to present day, after a second divorce from a very toxic relationship – I have chosen to work with a fabulous therapist who has introduced me to my inner child through many different healing modalities. Although it has been a painful experience it has also been quite magical. It is in these moments that my Higher Power has come in to support me while I work to heal these childhood wounds.
I now have the ability to reach my inner child on my own and I know exactly how and when to recognize when she needs something. I ensure that I take the time to tune into her and her needs, I become still so I can listen to her and that stillness provides us the calm we need to connect.
I ask her, what do you want? What do you need?
Her response: Love, support, acceptance, healing, protection, kindness, forgiveness, a hug, and so much more. What she didn’t get from her childhood, from her parents, her teachers, her mentors, she needs from me. She needs to know it wasn’t her fault, she needs to know I will always protect her, support her and never betray her.
She needs patience, comfort and healing.
She wants me to stop making bad choices, stop putting myself last, stop chasing toxic and to start listening to her. She wants me to hold myself in high regard, respect myself, put myself on a pedestal and to set healthy boundaries.
She wants me to know it wasn’t my fault that I didn’t get what I needed when I was growing up and that from this point forward, we will protect each other and give each other what is needed to be a healthy, whole and content individual.
That inner child deserves to be whole and that can only happen if I start listening to her and honor her needs.
To those who don’t understand this can sound quite confusing, but connecting with our inner child is critical to healing those childhood wounds that are still consuming us as we carry them around expecting them to just disappear. They won’t. They can’t. They are a part of us, living in our psyche, forming addictions and anxiety/stress/depression and impeding us from being happy and content. Until we resolve those issues and heal that inner child, contentment cannot exist.
I am so grateful to have connected with her and am grateful I have had her there to protect me, nudge me, guide me and yell at me when it was time to acknowledge her.
I encourage you to do the same for your inner child.
If you are struggling with where to begin, contact me and I will help you.
As always, share this article far and wide so we can help others in the struggle to find contentment.