Why you should heal your unresolved trauma

Everything starts with a vision and then it turns into a reality or a “thing”.

You must have a dream and that dream sparks a vision, that vision turns into a plan and that plan becomes reality!

My dream is to do something I am completely passionate about…

Helping People!

Yes, the idea of helping people who are struggling emotionally, physically or mentally fills my soul, completely.

We all have issues, and most everyone is struggling with something whether it is situational or chemical, stems from childhood, etc. Doesn’t matter what the struggle is….because it is for real. Although, unfortunately, not everyone is ready to admit what they struggle with, that’s ok, its never to late to heal.

Trauma is my specialty!

Trauma, or shall I say unresolved trauma is not something that disappears or will simply go away if you ignore it. It festers. It is always there. Lurking. 99% of the time it develops into something…anxiety, addiction, eating disorder, sex addiction, emotional availability, boderline personality disorder…you name it, unresolved trauma can cause it!

Trauma likes to rear its ugly head now and again so that you will address it. It wants to be addressed! Trust me! Unfortunately there are a number of people walking around with unresolved trauma and aren’t sure where to begin to address and some believe (a) they do not have a real problem or (b) they can’t be helped (among other things). If you simply open your mind to be aware of the patterns in your life, you can start connecting the dots to the when, where and why of your troubles. (I did this and it was an amazing exercise, contact me if you want help with this).

One example of unresolved trauma is a cyclical, abusive & emotionally unavailable relationship. These relationships form a pattern. I am sure many of you can look back and see a pattern or patterns stemming back far and wide in your life. Patterns are something that provide us comfort. We know what to expect, there is discomfort, for some, in the unknown.

These types of relationships and these patterns are all a result of some form of trauma. Whether its childhood abuse, neglect from a caregiver / family member or simply something traumatic that you experienced at some point in your life. These experiences have helped you form a belief about yourself (a lot of times that you are not worthy) and a fear (i.e. abandonment or engulfment).

Sound familiar?

Let’s talk cyclical relationships or push pull as some like to refer to this type of relationship. I have had my share of these relationships for sure – I could consider and do deem myself an expert. Which is totally not a good thing! However, I am so grateful I moved past this….and healed.

I digress..

In any cyclical relationship there is the runner and the chaser. But don’t be fooled, these two can switch roles at any time and as often as needed. The key position here = control!

Guess which one has all the control?

Yep, its the runner. Why? Because by running he gets chased (therefore he has all the control) and that chasing validates his worth. Being chased says to him “you are worthy”. Now, lets say the chaser gets tired of chasing, this is devastating for the runner because this tell the runner he is not worthy anymore, so what does he do? he starts chasing the chaser and now the roles have reversed. The chaser now becomes the runner until the runner stops running and the chaser becomes the runner. IT IS A VISCOUS CIRCLE!

The entire issues here is-

Emotional unavailability!

What keeps this couple together and the relationship alive is, the chase.

This can be exciting, for a while, but also emotionally draining, damaging to your psyche and completely unhealthy as this is the dynamic that feeds this relationship. It can never turn into a healthy one as this is a useless empty game that destroys both players self worth.

The fix

  • Therapy
  • Coaching
  • Self love all day long!

As I suggested, unresolved trauma can result in anxiety, depression, addiction, and so much more. So the key is to work to resolve it. You can change your patterns. You can heal from trauma and you can live a happy and emotionally healthy life and yes, you can be completely emotionally available. It can take years, but it is worth the investment in yourself and your future mental wellness to work towards healing.

So, if any of this resonates with you and you are looking to work with a coach to resolve trauma I would love to hear from you. Just go to our Contact page at http://www.aveshaempower.com and send me a message of what you are struggling with, that will be our first step on your journey to healing.

*commitment to healing is a must*

You are loved –


2 thoughts on “Why you should heal your unresolved trauma

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