Toxic by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
via daily post: Toxic
I read this fantastic article by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby and identified with it completely so I thought I would take the time and write a short blog about healing and what this looks like to me, personally. To some people who are knee deep in a toxic situation, healing can feel impossible -something that they will never achieve.
Healing is a process.
True healing takes time. Yes, it is soul wrenching and painful, but you eventually reach a point in your healing, whether it be 6 months down the road or 2 years down the road when you can stop and look at where you are and say…wow, look how far I have come and it is then that you know, you have reached that point where you would never go back to toxic…it just wouldn’t work for you anymore.
So yes, healing is a process and one that is, as I said, very difficult but it is so worth every tear you shed, every exhausted therapy session and every moment where you think you can’t endure another day…but you do.
I have done this work, I know what true healing from years of toxic means so I have gathered my thoughts this morning and compiled a list of what healing means to me and my hope is that these resonate with you.
- Accepting my actions and choices
- Becoming comfortable with who I am
- Learning from my mistakes
- Letting the past go
- Enjoying the present
- Forming “my Tribe”
- Learning to be alone and enjoying it
- Deciding what I want from life
- Learning new behaviors
- Enjoying the peace
- Forgiving myself and those who have wronged me
- Ignoring timelines
- Letting go of judgments (of myself and others)
- Finding my purpose
- Learning to love as is (myself and others)
- Surrounding myself with all that is beautiful & positive
This process has been an amazing Journey for me, one that I would not trade for anything.
So, if you are on the toxic ride and ready to get off please know that having a healthy and happy life apart from “toxic” is not impossible. When you are ready to commit to a healthier way of living, you can take the small steps that it takes to get there.
Below are the steps to take when healing and please understand that it takes commitment, patience and acceptance of self to heal. Unfortunately there is no healing time table, each person has their own unique set of circumstances that either promote or prohibit healing.
- Find your Higher Power
- Trust in your Higher Power and more importantly, yourself
- Take Accountability for your actions
- Accept where you are in this process (the beginning)
- Be grateful for this opportunity for healing
- Work on forgiveness for others and more importantly yourself
- Build your support system, also known as your tribe
- Feel the rawness of your feelings
- Understand the withdrawal process
- Remove toxic people from your life
- Begin the rebuilding process
- Envision your life as you want it to be
- Start taking the steps to get there
If you would like to work with a coach for guidance with the healing process, contact us.