Are you questioning if you are a co-dependent, deeply involved in a toxic relationship with either an addict, another co-dependent, avoidant or narcassist?
First, lets start with defining co-dependency.
What Is Codependency?
Codependency is a relationship pattern where a person becomes overly focused on helping, rescuing or controlling others. Their identity gets defined by what they do rather than who they are.
Their relationships are lop-sided, meaning that the codependent person carries the bulk of the load while the other person becomes the “identified patient” or the one needing help.
Common codependent behaviors Include:
- Difficulty knowing what they want or need
- Puts everyone else’s needs ahead of their own
- Has trouble saying no or setting boundaries
- Not being able to admit feeling hurt or angry
- Focuses on keeping others happy, even if it hurts them
- People pleasing instead of taking care of self
- Difficulty trusting their own perceptions
- Low self-esteem or thinks they know it all
(the above information was provided by counselingrecovery.com)
Codependency recovery is the process of unlearning dysfunctional patterns and taking small but steady steps (stepping stones) towards creating healthy and mutually satisfying relationships while focusing on building self-esteem without relying on external validation is a primary goal. Recovery work means learning to value yourself (self-love) and asking for what you need.
Although codependency recovery takes time, there are ways to jump start the process. Journaling prompts (writing exercises) are a great way to start the healing process quickly.
Although many people seek therapy and/or attend 12 step meetings (which I highly encourage), there are powerful writing exercises that will help you get started on the path of recovery.
These journal prompts will identify important areas in the recovery process. Remember small but steady wins the race!
I’m afraid of ____.
People don’t like me because ____.
When things don’t go according to plan, I ____.
Taking care of other people makes me feel __________.
When I listen to my body, it tells me that it needs ________.
When I tune into my spirit/soul, it tells me that it needs _________.
I wish people knew _____ about me.
I’m really good at ________.
I’m ashamed of _________.
I tend to bury or deny my emotions by ______.
I can show myself love by ________.
I can show others love by ________.
Someone who is supportive of my growth and change is ________.
When I try to set a boundary by saying “no”, I feel __ because _.
When I’m sad, I ________.
When I’m angry, I _____.
If I let myself feel all of my feelings, I would ______.
I don’t feel good enough or loveable because _______.
If people knew the real me, they would _________.
One person who truly knows me is _____.
If I start of focus more on myself – my needs and feelings, people will ____.
If I let my inner child speak, s/he would say _________.
I feel anxious when ______.
A positive way to calm my anxiety is ____.
I try to control other people and situations by _________ and this leads to
____. Instead I will ________.
I suspect I may have some denial about _________.
I feel hopeful about ____.
I am grateful for ___ and I will show it by ________.
Just for today I will _____________.
3 Ways I can take care of myself today are _________________.
There are also many books on co-dependency and love addition that you might find helpful. Please reach out to me and I will provide you with some suggestions.