How to relieve anxiety without meds by “grounding” or “earthing”

The most important thing about anxiety is to understand what it truly is.

  • Anxiety is fear.
  • Anxiety is lack of control.
  • Anxiety is worry.
  • Anxiety is self created (most of the time).
  • Anxiety can be controlled.

There are different types of anxiety, so I encourage you to educate yourself on the signs and symptoms and type of anxiety that exist. You can visit https://www.anxiety.org/what-is-anxiety to get started.

Anxiety can be felt all over your body, if you do not gain control over your anxiety you can develop panic attacks and eventually a full on panic disorder.

Panic disorder is a type of anxiety disorder. It causes panic attacks, which are sudden feelings of terror when there is no real danger. You may feel as if you are losing control. You may also have physical symptoms, such as

  • Fast heartbeat
  • Chest or stomach pain
  • Breathing difficulty
  • Weakness or dizziness
  • Sweating
  • Feeling hot or a cold chill
  • Tingly or numb hands

Panic attacks can happen anytime, anywhere, and without warning. One you experience one, you may live in fear of another attack and may avoid places that trigger you into an attack. For some people, fear takes over their lives and they cannot leave their homes and they become a prisoner to their disorder.

Panic disorders are more common in women than men. They usually start during adolescence. Stress is a huge trigger. People can resolve anxiety and almost abolish it, with proper treatment. Therapy can teach you how to recognize the triggers, develop coping skills and change your thinking patterns before they lead to panic. Medicines can also help but should be used as a last resort.

There are many different ways to manage anxiety. I wrote an article a few years ago for the Elephant Journal magazine which was really popular and helped a number of people – click here to read this amazing article!

Taken from this article I provide you with 5 proven techniques to cope with your anxiety without medicine by “grounding” or “earthing”.

Grounding is a technique that brings people back to the present moment when they are in the midst of chaos. Grounding skills can be helpful with managing feelings of intense anxiety and can help people regain their mental focus after a traumatic event or anxiety-induced state.

There are many proven ways to ground yourself. If you are in the midst of an anxiety attack and need to get “grounded,” you can start by counting backward, either in your mind or out loud; this is actually a mental distraction, and therefore, takes the focus off the anxiety.

Another wonderful and successful technique is to look around the room and name what you see: lamp, table, picture of my kids, five pens in a pencil holder, painting with a horse and a tree…whatever it is you see, call it out. This helps ground you in the present moment.

Some grounding techniques are actually referred to as “earthing”—and like the name suggests, you literally become one with the earth by putting your body in direct, uninterrupted contact with the earth. This exercise requires that your skin touch the soil, sand, water, or a conductive surface that is in contact with the earth.

This can be mean dipping your toes in the sand at the beach, walking in nature, going for a hike deep in the forest, swimming in a lake or the ocean, planting seeds (or replanting flowers) and digging in the dirt, or just walking through the grass barefoot. Earthing has a tremendous amount of health benefits—too many to mention in this article, so I empower you to google “earthing” and “grounding.”

Here’s a list of my favorite grounding activities (more than one involves earthing):

1. Walking or hiking.

Walking is the simplest and most effective way to reduce anxiety. Walking at an even pace has a very calming effect. It can evoke mindfulness, clear your head of rapidly cycling thoughts, and release stress. When walking (or hiking) in nature you will feel more relaxed during the walk. You can also take it one step further and meditate while you walk. Walks on the beach are amazingly therapeutic as well. The salt air and calming sound of the ocean is very grounding.

2. Yoga.

Specifically, Hatha yoga, which is the simplest form of asanas (yoga postures) and pranayama (breathing techniques) can be helpful. Yoga is the soul practice of the body, mind, and spirit—and it brings us to a state of mindfulness. This can be done at home, and we can practice for as short or as long a time as we desire. I recommend at least 15 minutes for session length, although 30 minutes is ideal.

3. Gardening.

Nothing connects you to the earth more than gardening. This is a fantastic example of earthing, as your hands are completely immersed in the soil. It’s such a peaceful and mindful art—and one that has so many benefits.

4. Journaling.

This keeps us in a state of mindfulness by helping to remove negative thoughts, as well as organizing those distracting, racing thoughts. Getting your thoughts and ideas down on paper will help you clear your mind and enable you to get to a peaceful state quickly. Organizing your thoughts also helps you to set (and ultimately obtain) goals in a more efficient way.

5. Arts/Crafts/Creativity.

Being creative by using your imagination and putting ideas into action is a very grounding activity that also has a beneficial and tangible outcome.

Whatever practice you choose, immerse yourself in it. Bask in the moment of the activity—and when you find that your mind starts to drift and your thoughts beginning to wander, bring yourself back to the moment.

Feel the earth as you put your hands in the dirt; walk across the grass, or stick your toes in the sand. To ground yourself even further, describe how it feels out loud . Describing it makes it feel extra real.

I love walking barefoot in the grass on a chilly summer morning after it has rained and the grass is wet with dew. The feeling is magical and reminds me of childhood. Remember being a child and running through the sprinkler? Wasn’t that magical?

Even as adults, we can create magical moments that make us feel like children again. We feel the wonderment, the joy, and the peace we felt as kids, when we were riding our bikes and the wind blew through our hair—or doing somersaults on a warm summer day with the sun beaming down on us. How about that moment when you take that first lick of an ice cream cone? Yumm.

Those moments are priceless.

We can have those now, as adults—we just need to create them. We live in a world of chaos and instant gratification, so it takes a commitment to ourselves to take a step back and slow things down, so we can enjoy every single moment—because right now is all we have.

So, I empower you to try at least one of these amazing techniques to help ground you and help you live in each moment as it comes. It isn’t easy…but over time, it will become easier.

Love and happiness always!

Avesha

Fitness Over Forty – get balanced

Hormones got you down?

Feeling like you are on a constant roller coaster?

PMS a thing for you?

Time to try a few things to get you balanced and in a good place, physically and emotionally.

I suffer terribly from PMS – or whatever they call it now. I know my body so well I can predict almost every symptom I am going to feel and when.

It all starts about 10 days before my period is due (although its always late, which I am now able to predict). My symptoms starts with agitation, then some anger, a whole lot of anxiety and then I finish it off with some weeping and sobbing 🙂 Sadly this is not something I can control, the emotions seem to just take over. However, the good news is that I recognize the onset and am able to work through most of these feelings and keep them at bay with the following:

  1. Yoga, Pilates and Barre – mat exercises are literally a cure for PMS bloat and emotional rollercoaster rides. The floor exercises help to bring down inflammation. Belly breathing helps with the anxiety and getting the heart rate pumping with some low impact pilates and barre moves help to get the endorphins kicking. A good session over 20 minutes will bring immediate relief.
  2. Change your diet – cutting back on alcohol, sugar and salt and adding more protein, fruits, and raw veggies can help prevent inflammation and of course…a morning smoothie is a fantastic way to start your day. Adding supplements such as a B Complex, Magnesium and EPO (evening primrose oil) can also reduce PMS symptoms.
  3. Cardio – however you can – do it! Take a walk, bike ride, hike, jog or swim. Cardio gets the heart rate up and kick starts your metabolism as well as your endorphins which help combat the emotional rollercoaster feeling as well as the bloating and fatigue.
  4. Get more sleep – as you start to hit peri-menopause your sleep cycle will starts to change and can even become erratic. It is important that our bodies get a restful nights sleep. Try meditation before bed. Implement a no screentime before bed rule (to avoid mental stimulation) and do not eat or drink anything after 7 pm to avoid your body having to metabolize. In addition, there are many good yoga sequences that help put your body in relaxed state which will prepare you for sleepy time.
  5. Have sex – yep, its true, sex can help with bloating and cramping…look it up!
  6. Reduce your stress – however you can, you must get a handle on your stress level. Don’t take on more than you can handle. Set realistic expectations of yourself and others and take time out of your schedule for YOU and only YOU every day!
  7. Keep a journal which tracks your cycle – this will help you know what to expect and when. This is how you stay sane 🙂

I hope these tips are helpful to you as you navigate your journey to a more balanced life.

Contact me at aveshaempower@gmail.com if you would like to set up a coaching session.

Have some of your own tips on how to balance your life a bit? I would love to hear from you below 🙂

Think this info would be helpful to someone else, please share on your social media pages. Spread the word and maybe we will help someone else.

why infidelity will never plague my life again

Infidelity can rock your world and turn it upside down. True healing from infidelity is a long hard and painful process full of many ups and downs. When you come out the other side, you truly are a different person. Stronger, smarter and more aware of how fragile your soul can be. You learn that life doesn’t go as you plan and people are not always who you think they are.

Infidelity changes you as a person.

I am three years years away from the entire experience and as crazy as it sounds I am grateful for having gone through it. I remember moments I never thought I would survive, but I did. I never thought the tears would stop, I never thought I would be able to swallow food again. I couldn’t imagine ever being able to forgive. But I have.

I used to wish them death…daily. Now I don’t even think about them.

How did I get here? I did the “work” I needed to do to heal and move past the pain and the feeling of rejection and detestation.  In doing the work I developed coping skills which helped me to work through the triggers when they started to overwhelm me. Now, I don’t get those triggers anymore. I have successfully worked through the feelings, the triggers and arrived at a place of acceptance.

How did I get to acceptance?

Well, after my (ex) husband and I split, I did not immediately get into a relationship, I did not look to others to make me feel better, I did not drink, do drugs, or have sex with strangers in hopes it would take my pain away.  I didn’t do anything that would prolong my healing.

What did I do?

I did what any good therapist would tell you to do, I figuratively sat in my shit.

What that means is I felt EVERY SINGLE OUNCE OF PAIN ONE CAN FEEL.  I mourned the loss of my husband to this other woman, I mourned the loss of the people I called family, I felt sorry for myself, I let go of those who no longer served me, I took accountability for my actions, my part in his infidelity and the demise of our relationship.  I simply worked through every single thing I could so that I could move forward.

That was my healing journey and I am grateful to have had this amazing experience which allowed me to grow and blossom into the person I am today.

So with a clear mind and still a sacred soul I can honestly tell you, I will never experience infidelity ever again.

How do I know this?

Because…

  1. I will never be in a relationship that is not clearly defined
  2. I will never love someone more than they love me
  3. I will never be with someone who does not share the same vision as me
  4. I will never be vulnerable with someone who does not respect me as a human being with feelings
  5. I will never be with someone who doesn’t have one nice thing to say about their last relationship, especially if it is the mother of their children
  6. I will never be with someone who is not emotionally available to me
  7. I will never be with someone who cannot commit to me, fully
  8. I will never be with someone until they are free and clear from a relationship
  9. I will never love someone who is not healthy for me
  10. I will never be with someone who isn’t fully committed to themselves and their happiness

Life is not easy, and that is OK!  If it were easy then what would be the point?   The struggle is what teaches us so many things and when we actually learn the lesson, it is then that we can move forward.

Onward with my Journey….

If you would like coaching on how to survive infidelity, please contact me and if you think this article was helpful and could be helpful to others, please share on your social media pages.

My goal and whole purpose of my writings and coaching is to help others in a time that people feel the most helpless.

Steps to Clearing Emotional Pain

When you are in a place of healing and know that you have hit a wall, you have worked with a therapist and / or life coach to identify the causes of the issues you are experiencing, you have journaled, meditated and created a self care routine but you still feel like you are stuck … it is time for some emotional clearing.

Emotional Clearing is the practice of bringing awareness to our mental and emotional compulsions and reactions in order to “heal” them or integrate them. The end state of doing this work is Wholeness which is actually a step beyond enlightenment.

For these unresolved emotions to clear, they needs to pass through you. When these past emotions and feelings reemerge, they may lead to sadness, anger, fear, anxiety or depression. If you are feeling these emotions after or while going through an emotional clearing treatment, please rest assured that these feelings are completely normal. Do not try to avoid these feelings or shame yourself for feeling them. The most important thing to do during a healing process is to just let the emotions be. Just sit with the feelings and let them exist.

Please be thoughtful and patient with yourself, these emotions have been trapped and repressed in your subconscious for a long time. They most like stem from your childhood or early adolescence. We know that most people do not leave childhood unscathed. Even if you tell yourself you had a great childhood. There may have been something that affected you in a way where you repressed those emotions so you would not feel them. By pushing away feelings this could lead to emotions and negative feelings being trapped for many years. In extreme cases, these emotions developed into chronic physical symptoms without the bearer knowing it such as anxiety, depression, addiction, compulsion, chronic illness, etc.

It is important to remember we only have this one life and it is a gift. Even if things are hard and you feel you are in a constant emotional struggle, life is a precious gift and we only get one shot at it. We all have the opportunity to live a happy life with purpose. There is so much help and knowledge out there. Things are so different now then in the past. We have so many healing modalities right at our fingertips. Therefore I encourage you to start your healing today.

Emotional clearing is usually successful after a number of “sessions” or “treatments”. Most of these can be done in the privacy of your own home and others should be done by a certified “healing specialist”.

  • Start a yoga practice – yoga can be done at home or at a studio. it is a very versatile practice with so many benefits for our mind body and our spirit (there are specific emotional clearing poses that you should adopt into your yoga practice such as Goddess Pose, Pigeon Pose,Child’s Pose, Downward Dog, Malasana Squat, Legs up a wall or Waterfall Pose, etc.). If you would like to create your own yoga emotional clearing practice from home I encourage you to go to google and search articles about yoga for emotional clearing.
  • Meditation – clearing the mind is just as important as clearing the body. Its important to let go of old data that has lived inside your mind and has misguided you in the wrong direction. Its time to let go of any old thoughts and feelings, especially negative ones and replace them with good and positive thoughts. This can be done in any quiet space in your home. Designate a sacred space where you spend time with yourself.
  • Energy healing massage and / IET or Reiki – it works. This is where you need a licenses healer. I encourage you to research healers in your area.
  • Change your self talk and perspective immediately – this takes a good amount of time because you are basically reprogramming how you think act and speak about yourself. You have spent a lifetime thinking and acting a specific way and now I am asking you to completely change that. This can be done, but it takes time, commitment and dedication to the outcome.

The outcome once you put this practice into place is overwhelming in a good way. The results can be mind blowing. I can say this with pure confidence because I speak from experience. I put this practice into place and it virtually changed every aspect of my life. I once used to walk around with a pit in my stomach (total anxiety), a sleeping disorder, a basic negative outlook on life in general, with shallow friendships, bad/toxic/dangerous relationships with men and a very low sense of self worth.

Today, I am thrilled to say with a mixture of therapy, life coaching, spiritual coaching, yoga, meditation, a HUGE dose of self love and self care and true emotional clearing – I am the best person I can possibly be and each drive I thrive to be that much better. I am happy, calm, I no longer have that pit in my stomach. My friendships are deeper, my love relationship is amazing, my general outlook on life is extremely positive and I LOVE MYSELF!!

I continue to do a self care routine every single day and I treat myself the way I expect others to treat me. I do not allow negativity or drama in my sacred space and I have high expectations of those in my life. Yes, the occasional trigger happens, but I have the tools to work through the feelings and move forward.

There is hope, I promise and I am here to help you if you decide you are ready to take the next step.

Emotional Clearing is a necessary and critical last step to complete healing.

I hope this is helpful to you!

-A

How to move forward gracefully after a divorce

Divorce, and break-ups in general are very difficult to process and move on from.  For many reasons, separating from someone we love leaves us feeling lost and desperate for answers.  Many times we blame ourselves in hopes that if we take ownership of the breakup we can then fix it and not have to suffer with this pain any longer.

The pain can be so deep that it triggers other emotional issues inside us, ones that we thought we buried and would never see again.  Sometimes break-ups are the Universes’ way of getting us to deal with our issues instead of filling voids and living the day to day as if these issues do not exist.  That’s called denial.

Being divorced twice and losing both husbands in a similar and pretty traumatic way I realized the Universe was sending me a message…it was the same message both times and this time I listened.

Below are my simple tips of letting go and moving on after a divorce (or breakup):

  • Let yourself go through the stages of grief/loss – A divorce or breakup of a significant relationship is quite similar to a death.  In order to move forward you must go through the stages of grief.  The five stages are  denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance and they are a critical part of the framework that makes up our learning to live without the one we lost. They help us to gain the tools we need to help us identify what we may be feeling, however there is no exact timeline when it comes to the healing process and you may bounce around from grief to anger and back to denial before you hit acceptance.   Healing is not linear.
  • Accept that healing takes time – As I stated, there is no time table and healing is not linear.  Just  know, you are where you are meant to be, healing.  The more difficult the relationship and break up the harder the hit is to your body, mind and soul.  You need to be compassionate with yourself and accept that it can take years to recover and that is OK!  Honor yourself and where you are at, at every moment.
  • Allow yourself time to heal – solo – Fix yourself and heal first before bringing someone else into your world otherwise you risk repeating the same patterns until you have learned the lesson you were meant to learn – the Universe is speaking to you so listen.  The only way over it, is through it.
  • Do not fill voids by immediately trying to replace your ex – Believe it or not, you are not ready for a new relationship!  By jumping in to a new relationship, you are trying to fill a void to escape from hurt, that never works, it delays the healing process and puts other people at risk for heartbreak.
  • Allow yourself to feel anger, fear and sorrow – These feelings are normal and are part of the healing process.  Feel every feeling until you are numb to it.  Stuffing your feelings does not work, facing them head on speeds up the healing process.
  • Fill your life with interests and activities – Now is the time to try something new (new hobby, take a class, start an exercise routine), make new friends, and start some Keystone Habits (see my blog on Improve your life with these simple Keystone Habits).  This creates a full and satisfying life.  Become a better version of yourself!
  • Make peace with your loss and try to forgive – If you focus too much on the loss and don’t let go of the story you will not get to acceptance and you will prolong the healing process.  There is a lesson in all this, take the time to learn what it is.
  • Let go of the story – Yes it was traumatic – yes you are in pain – yes you miss him or her – but if you do not let go of the story and make peace with what happened and why it happened you will delay creating a new and better story, one that doesn’t involve a traumatic breakup.  Learn the lesson and move forward.
  • Make time for yourself and figure out who you are as a person – I imagine you have spent a majority of time focused on your relationship and your significant other.  Now it is time to focus on yourself and figure out who you are and what makes you tick.  Fall in love with yourself!
  • If you want to find a happy, nurturing, compassionate relationship, look for those qualities inside yourself – Do you have those same qualities you are looking for in another person?   Remember … you are holding up your mirror so be who you wish to meet!  Its that simple.

Once you change your mindset from loss to opportunity, the healing process will be a much easier Journey to the next story of your new and wonderful life.

Namaste’

Please share this with others who you think will benefit from this article.

How to get a handle on your hormone imbalance

No two hormonal imbalances are the same.

However, a lot of the symptoms and timing of our reactions to our fluctuating hormones are similar so this is one of those situations that although our imbalances may not be exact, our bodies reactions to them are.

Symptoms can include (but are not limited to):

  • Anxiety
  • Sadness (simple or deep)
  • Starvation
  • Anger/Rage
  • Insomnia
  • Night sweats
  • Insecurity
  • Acne
  • Weight gain
  • Tummy and bowel issues
  • And of course irregular and/or painful periods
  • Some if not most of these symptoms can interfere with your every day life.  In most cases, you may only experience these symptoms a few days to a week before your period.  However some women experience them for longer and these symptoms are literally wreaking havoc on their lives.

There is no way, despite what you read on the internet, to get rid of a hormone imbalance completely.  However, you can manage the symptoms by discovering what the imbalance is (hormone test with your OB or Naturopath) and implementing some really strict changes to your every day life.

  1. Diet – you will need to limit your processed foods, cut down on your bad fats and add more “good” fats to your diet. fresh fruits and veggies, leafy greens, organic and grass fed meats and dairy without antibiotics and hormones.
  2. Supplements – Evening Primrose Oil is a God send.  Magnesium.  A good complex B vitamin.  Ginseng.
  3. Change your beauty products – check out Dermastore for some good high quality products.
  4. Collagen smoothie – coconut milk or water, green leafy vegetables, coconut yogurt, banana some peanut butter and you have yourself a very healthy morning snack.
  5. Intermittent fasting – eat for 8 fast for 16 (example:  no food consumption until 9am and no food after 5pm) find a fasting schedule that works for you.
  6. Meditation – this helps with anxiety and monkey mind thinking,
  7. Yoga – helps the body mind and spirit especially during this time.
  8. Cardio – truly any cardio you do will make you feel better whether it is a walk, a run, dancing, power yoga, a cycle class.  Cardio always makes a person feel their best.
  9. Spending time in nature – go for a walk/hike, garden, drive through a forest, snow shoe, cross country ski, get out there.  Nature is Gods medicine.
  10. Take a hot bath with some essential oils and Epsom Salt – this will help ease any cramping you might be having and soothe your mind.
  11. Talk to a doctor about medicine if you are not able to get a handle on things.
  12. Journal  – keep track of your feelings each month and you will start to see a pattern.  So if you feel like you are going crazy, look back at your journal and remind yourself, this is your pattern.

It is important to understand you are not crazy nor are you alone.  Women all around the world are experiencing some form of hormonal issues and it is important to understand why.  Make an appointment with your doctor to rule out anything abnormal and discuss putting together a monthly care plan for you to manage your hormones and start feeling better.

If you would like to discuss this privately please Contact Us

Love light and happy hormones!

Avesha

 

How to make home your “sacred place”

I write a lot of self love and self care articles and I am grateful that a lot of them have been published with some really cool sites.  Most of my articles are focused on how to live your best life as your best self, how to practice self love daily, and how to be what you wish to attract, etc.  I write completely from experience and sweat labor.  I have done the work, and it really is work.  In doing the work I have come across many different levels of healing and best ways to implement a self care, self love routine and I love sharing my ideas and what has worked for me.

In these articles I always mention having a sacred space in your home which is something you definitely want to have and this space critical to you being able to completely immerse yourself in your spiritual practice.  Now I want to take this concept one step or even multiple steps further and encourage you to create an entire home that is your sacred space.

Whether you live alone or have multiple family members living with you, you can still deem your home as your very own sacred space.

Our home is where we spend most of our life.  It is where we raise our children, build our marriages, lay our heads to rest, enjoy sexual experiences, etc.

Some people have houses that they don’t connect with therefore their house is not their “home“.  If this is you, you first need to make your house your “home“.  A place you enjoy being, a place that is safe and comforting to you even if you are not a home body and enjoy going out and traveling and going away on weekends, you still want a wonderful place to come home to.

Home is where you soul should reside and be free.  Home is where you should seek solace after a tough day (i.e. I can’t wait to go home).

Once you feel your house is your home, a place you love and feel comforted….then you can move on to making it sacred.

  1.  Fill your home with things that make you happy (examples:  wall hangings, books, nic nacks, candles, pottery, photos, rocks, statutes)
  2. Create a technology free zone – implement time and space where no technology is used (dinner time/table, meditation/yoga space)
  3. Focus on each room and what feelings you desire to feel in each room (examples:  the bedroom should be focused around love so include lots of pinks and reds; the kitchen should be happy and bright; a living room is about family so put up lots of family photos and mirrors to reflect the love in the room; a master bath (if you have one) should represent relaxation and cleansing so maybe design it in a spa theme with soft colors, thick towels, lots of rocks, candles, and soaps / bath salts).  The options are endless.
  4. Fill each room with plants and/or fresh flowers from your garden or a local garden store
  5. Infuse scents into the air that help to create a calming atmosphere – you can buy an infuser and essential oils or burn soy candles in soothing scents
  6. Make sure lighting throughout your home is soothing and not offensive
  7. Remove all clutter (you can have a clutter removal ceremony, yes this exists)
  8. Make sure each room flows freely so that kinetic energy can move through each room effortlessly.  Move furniture around so that the energy is your home is not blocked

This is a good start for creating your sacred home space.  If you desire more information or advice on where to begin, please contact us anytime and we can help.

It is so critical to love where you live, creating a sacred home space will make your house a true home.

Light, love, peace and happiness!

-Avesha