Who are you?

Through the process of self-discovery I realized that I had spent so much time living the way I wanted others to see me that I wasn’t being my true and authentic self. After much time alone in self-discovery mode I have truly found my path on this Journey and it is incredible.

One of the best things that I did was removing myself from all social media (i.e. Facebook, Instagram). In fact this is first thing I require my coaching clients to do. This helps them regain their sense of worth, empowers them to validate themselves and frees up a lot of time that they were spending looking at other people’s lives and comparing their own lives to another’s. This is not healthy.

My advice to everyone who is on a Journey of healing is — GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA! Yes, I am yelling 🙂

Once you remove yourself from social media or at least Facebook, you can start to learn who you are and get to know yourself without all of the noise and the constant chaos of social media. You won’t be posting something in hopes of validation that someone “liked” it and disappointment when they don’t. Instead, that validation will come from within. It is critical that you learn to validate yourself and not seek your self worth from others.

It took me a good solid and downright painful year of solitude to figure out who I was, the good and the not so good. I found it to be easier to start with the broken side of me, because that is usually the most obvious and well its the hardest to face and conquer.

I learned very quickly that I was a complete control freak which derived from a severe fear of abandonment. I literally tried to control every single aspect of my life. I knew this needed to change. So I dug deep with a therapist and we started working to heal those childhood wounds. I learned that because of my need for control, I wasn’t even remotely enjoying life I was steering and driving it to go the way I thought it needed to go and missing the beauty of surprise which can be so magical. I was missing all of the magic.

The reality is, it is impossible to control every aspect of our lives, but this is a hard lesson to learn for sure.

I learned many other things about myself which were depressing, interesting, eye opening and confusing all at the same time but I have to say, this Journey of self discovery has been truly amazing. Learning about yourself is cathartic on so many levels and really opens up the doors to healing.

So, after I started working through the “bad” stuff, the positive parts of me surfaced and I have discovered some really neat things about me.

Like….I am more of an introvert than an extrovert, which was highly surprising to me. In the past I always centered myself around people and truly felt I needed people to survive. This is no longer the case. I understand now that it was my intense fear of being alone that drove a more extroverted behavior and not that I was an actual extrovert.

I also learned that I am very creative, intuitive and philosophical a true to form Sagittarius.

As a result of all this work, I really appreciate and even crave my alone/down time so much, I process information differently, I look forward to every moment I spend on my yoga mat and I am actually able to meditate on my own now. I used to think with meditation you had to shut down your brain to the point that no thoughts entered which is impossible and not what is required. Once I got the concept of simply “resting your body and mind” even for 5 minutes, I saw the benefits immediately.

Because of this transition I am a better person. My relationships are stronger and deeper. I have zero tolerance for toxic people and because of this I made a conscious choice to only surround myself with people who I feel good around. Sounds a little selfish, but it isn’t. Life is short and spending it with people who emotionally drain you or continuously take from you is not healthy, for either person. 

Always choose yourself.

The old me used to be busy constantly, planning my weekends in advance and making sure I always had a social function to attend or in the very least, people to spend time with. Now, I value my time so much, that I refuse to plan my life away. Some things are avoidable and there are times you need to plan things in advance. But my weekends are my time and most of the time I don’t know what I want to do until I tackle the day and sometimes I just want to do my own thing with no responsibilities or commitments and I want that flexibility to decide. This is OK!

Through this amazing transformation I have learned who I am as a person, a mother, friend, co-worker, employee and person of society and I truly like who I am. There are things I am working on and things that will not change that I have to accept about myself, but overall I am the healthiest I have ever been. I am grateful to have had this time to find me.

So, I encourage you to ask yourself…who are you? do you like you? and what would you change if you could?

Namaste’

Interested in life coaching?

Visit http://www.AveshaEmpower.com and contact us to schedule a free consultation

Emotional pain and how it affects us..

I haven’t written in a few days mainly because I have been dealing with intense muscle knots that have turned into a perceived pinched nerve.  Let’s just say I have gone a little koo koo trying to figure out how to “fix” me and feel better.

During my meditation yesterday I started sobbing…you know that uncontrollable sobbing that cleanses your soul?  I realized at that moment what the knots are.

Deep emotional pain.

Once the sobbing subsided, I created my intention for my yoga practice.  It was to let go of my past and to forgive myself for bad decisions as well as forgive those who have hurt me, even intentionally.

After my meditation and yoga practice I took a hot bath with lavender, frankincense and Epsom salt.   Afterwards, I felt so free…cleansed…and much lighter.  However by the time I settled down for the evening,  my knots had returned and I experienced another sleepless night.

The next day, by late morning I made space for some meditation and a bit of yoga.  Once I hit the mat, got into position and lit the sage…tears started pouring down my face again.  Ahhh, more emotional pain.  So I let it all out and allowed myself to feel and process whatever I needed to and then I resumed the meditation.

My lesson….healing just like grief is not linear, it is a roller coaster of emotions and feelings.

Trauma doesn’t disappear, it only fades, and I am also learning that I must manage it closely forever.  Time alone does nothing, what I do with that time is everything!

Healing takes patience, persistence, commitment and courage.

Meditation, therapy, energy work, writing, creativity, feeling your feelings are all modalities to healing properly and regaining all that you lost and finding what you never had.

Although this is truly so much work, the benefits are worth the struggle.

They say you are your thoughts and that is 100% the truth.  What you do think about, you bring about.  So even when you are blue, I encourage you to focus on what you do have, I empower you to be your best self and to allow yourself to feel what you are meant to feel so you can move forward.

I am doing it right along with you.

Love, light and empowerment

-A

 

 

What I wish I always knew

When you are broken, let it motivate you to become who you really are meant to be.

Whatever that is.  Whoever that is.

Don’t let that experience go to waste.  Embrace it.  Feel it.  Own it.  Despise it.  Then love it.  Respect it.

It teaches you something.

Be YOU!

Whatever that is.  Whoever that is.

It is important that you learn the lesson or it will repeat and beat you up ten fold next time.

Look at yourself in the mirror, write yourself a love note, meditate and thank God for creating you.

Because there is only one you and you are AMAZING!
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Empowered Feminine Energy

Learning how to balance your feminine and masculine energy (think ying / yang) is not an easy task, especially in today’s society.

Women are becoming more and more independent by honing in on their masculine energy.  In addition to being focused on their blossoming career they also tend to be in control of their home life.  Carrying much of the responsibilities with regard to children and managing and structuring home life which is run like a well oiled machine.

With women managing so much responsibility and having to be so “in control” they tend to lose their feminine energy and be more connected to their masculine energy.

Feminine Energy is –

  1. intuition
  2. emotions
  3. connection to nature
  4. being in tune with the cycles of life and the seasons
  5. creativity
  6. gives life
  7. attracts
  8. receives
  9. water element
  10. empathy
  11. sensuality
  12. spiritual

So how does a woman learn how to “be” vs. “do”?

How does she let go of control and allow things to happen?

How can she focus and enjoy the experience or the Journey and not focus or try to predict the end result and surrender to the unknown?

Well, she needs to do things that can help bring out and foster her feminine energy and regain balance and the natural flow of this energy.

Those things can include (but are not limited to):

  1. Dance – put on some music, sway to the beat, move around, jump around, do not stay still.  Enjoy the music and you can even sing if your soul desires to do so.
  2. Surround yourself with beauty – feminine colors (like pink, red, or peach), soft fabrics, amazing scents and beautiful sounds.
  3. Allow a day free of plan & just go with the flow.
  4. Foster your creativity:
    1. Crafting
    2. Painting
    3. Gardening
    4. Home decor/improvement
    5. Art
    6. Fashion
    7. Crocheting/knitting/sewing
    8. Writing
  5. Learn about yourself by being sensual – draw yourself a warm bath with Epsom salt and essential oils; burn a candle or two; listen to soft music; read a book; relax and enjoy.  Do anything that stimulates all 5 senses.

When we embrace and nurture our feminine energy we drawn in success (personal and professional), amazing people, and healthy relationships without the hustle and grind of trying to make things happen.

So ask yourself where are you most blocked?

What will you do to discover your feminine energy?

Contact me and let me know if you would like guidance while trying to discover this energy.

Namaste!

How to practice self love daily

How do you start your day?

~Life is an endless process of self discovery~

Self-love is not a trend, it is not something you do when you feel like it.  You don’t just “do self-love” after a break up or after you experience trauma.  Self-love is a life long practice that needs to be added to your every day life. With self-love comes the releasing of negative thoughts and self-criticism by embracing more of a loving and positive acceptance of yourself through forgiveness of yourself and others.

The Universal concept is that our thoughts create our actions and therefore those thoughts dictate the outcome in our lives.  Self-love is a very powerful and necessary practice and critical if you want to have healthy relationships with others.

Self-love is not selfish!

Taking care of and loving ourselves and being a whole, sound and emotionally healthy person allows us to take care of others without it feeling like a burden. If you aren’t taking care of yourself, if you don’t rest and relax your soul, then you will be of no help to others— especially yourself.  You will eventually feel drained and eventually there will be nothing left to give.  You must give to yourself as well as give to others.

Below is a a simple self-love checklist that may seem overwhelming to you at first, however, I promise that if you commit to adding a majority of them into your daily routine or practice as I like to call it, every single day, you’ll see the benefits immediately.

45 Ways to Practice Self-Love

  1. Create a quiet and safe zone in your home (may it be a corner, a closet, or a spare rom and deem it your “space”)
  2. Buy yourself fresh flowers (or cut them from your garden and display them)
  3. Grow a garden of fresh vegetables
  4. Start an exercise routine (yoga, pilates, the gym, take a walk) – increase those endorphins (see Creating a workout routine you can and will stick to)
  5. Read, take a nap, listen to music, sit quietly – please just rest your soul
  6. Buy yourself some new makeup and play with it
  7. Create a daily bucket list and post it
  8. Repeat the following mantra “I love and accept myself”
  9. Make a list of all the things you like about yourself
  10. Create a gratitude journal (see How to start Journaling – Keystone Habit)
  11. Start your day with meditation and yoga
  12. Implement a “treat yourself day” (mine is Friday)
  13. Dress nice, even if you don’t have to, put on those earrings, scarf and lipstick and show the world how beautiful you are
  14. Take a breath between your bites of food and savor the taste
  15. Make yourself a hot cup of coffee or tea and savor each sip
  16. Have a protein or collagen smoothie every morning
  17. Sleep at least 7 hours a day
  18. Say no and be ok with it
  19. Pay it forward, always
  20. Make someone feel good whenever you can
  21. Smile often, even if no one is smiling at you (they may think you are weird but that is ok)
  22. Eat food that is nourishing (put down the boxed food – unless its treat day)
  23. Get a massage and have them use essential oils
  24. Go for a hike or long walk in nature
  25. Be confident (walk and talk with confidence)
  26. Learn something new – dance classes, yoga, tennis lessons, start or join a MeetUp group
  27. Host a ladies night
  28. Call a friend and laugh for hours about nothing (no complaining)
  29. Spend time with your kids before they grow up and move away 😦
  30. Get a new haircut and/or buy some new makeup
  31. Eat chocolate guilt free (maybe on treat day)
  32. When someone offers your a compliment, simply say, “Thank you”
  33. Travel solo
  34. Set a no screen time in your house (dinner, after 9, etc)
  35. Set goals (see Improve your life with these simple Keystone Habits)
  36. Take a day off and do something nice for yourself (go to the gym, coffee shop, shop, meet a friend for lunch, take a walk, sleep)
  37. Self-love mantra: “I am enough. I have enough. I do enough”
  38. Let go of what no longer serves you
  39. Buy a diffuser and infuse essential oils like lavender
  40. Write a letter to yourself and put it away for a year
  41. Host a dinner party
  42. Hire a coach or a counselor (see The real benefits of working with a Life Coach)
  43. Take a hot bath with Epsom salt and lavender (or whatever your favorite oil is)
  44. Make new friends (and remove those toxic ones)
  45. Clean out your closet and donate clothes you no longer wear

The biggest message I have is, be gentle with yourself and always honor where you are at every stage of your Journey.

The best advice I have been given – ever is to ~feel your feelings~

Namaste’

Contact Us if you would like to work with a coach to help you kick start your self-love and self care routine!

How do you start your day?

“Every day we are born again” – Buddha

Over time and by creating daily KeyStone Habits you can learn to transform your life into the one you deserve.  For this, I like to use the term – stepping stones.  Every little step you take brings you one step closer to your new and healthy life.

With stepping stones you literally take each and every day, one step at a time.  It takes self awareness, inspiration, determination and the drive to want to change and the commitment to stay on task (and focused) as you begin your new Journey.  I know, because I have done this work and although there were times I wanted to quit, I am so grateful I didn’t.

It takes 26 days for a habit to become a lifestyle.

There are so many ways to begin making little but impactful changes in your life. Personally I found that starting with a morning routine was the best place to begin my Journey to an emotionally healthy lifestyle.

Thankfully I am a morning person so creating a morning routine was easy as well as exciting for me.  This routine is very important to me as it provides me with much needed structure and it gives me something to look forward to each day as I rise in the morning.  This positive start to my day gets my head in the right place so I am ready to tackle my day with a clear mind and a peaceful soul.

I am grateful for this practice and I continue to alter it to adjust to life’s little changes and challenges.


Below are some”morning ritual” ideas to help you create your own daily practice –

  • Wake up with the sunrise (“early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise” – Benjamin Franklin, famously)
  • Drink a glass of room temperature water (with lemon if you can – fantastic liver cleanse)
  • Intermittent fasting
  • Walk the dog / get on the treadmill (I don’t care how cold or hot it is, get that body moving)
  • Make a collagen smoothie – google smoothie recipes for some awesome ideas
  • Brush your teeth, wash your face, give yourself a mini facial or at least a detox scrub (I have some fantastic organic facial recipes to share)
  • Do at least 20 minutes of yoga stretches or if you are feeling bold do a 30 minute power yoga session 🙂
  • Start an exercise routine
  • Make a hot cup of coffee or tea – drink it slow and savor the flavor 🙂
  • Meditate for at least 5 minutes (download the Simple Habit, Calm or HeadSpace app for an easy guided meditation) – or just sit in silence as you drink your tea/coffee/smoothie
  • Practice grounding and earthing
  • Peruse your garden and cut fresh flowers for your home – assuming you have a garden, if not, steal your neighbors flowers and put them in a vase (LOL, kidding, well, kind of)
  • Write in your journal (express your gratitude, set your goals, write down your worries and let them go) – Don’t know how to journal or where to begin?  start here
  • Read your gratitude list out loud and thank the Universe, God, Buddha, whatever you believe in for another beautiful day in this life
  • Take a hot shower and be in the moment (you can also take a hot bath with Epsom salt and lavender before bed to wash away the day)
  • Get ready for your day (do your hair, put on makeup)
  • Dress to impress (even if you work from home – yoga pants are not pants)
  • If you commute, put on your favorite music or audio book – enjoy the time you have to yourself

Its just as easy and important to create an “evening wind-down ritual” as well (Contact Us for ideas to create your evening ritual).

Until soon!

Namaste

Fitness Over 40

There is no better time than right now to start a fitness routine!

Fitness over 40 is a program I have created which involves exercises for each individual person, over 40, based on their fitness goals as well as their body type.

Together we will create a targeted and, as I stated, an individual fitness and nutrition program which will focus on all areas you wish to work on as well as enhance them and of course we will focus on those stubborn areas that may need a little more work 🙂

Our bodies change with age and therefore your fitness routine needs to be realistic based on your age and body type.

For instance, a lower impact, targeted resistance exercise program is much more effective for a body that is over 40.  High impact exercises do not offer the same results.

Unfortunately, high impact exercises (like running) break down the body with little positive results.  They also can result in an injury to our muscles, tissues and even bones if we are not careful.  So something like Crossfit can be dangerous and is known for many issues like muscle tears.

So a good exercise routine should consist of an hour of cardio multiple times per day, 5 days a week with some resistance exercises, light weight training and a 20 minute yoga routine.  This is a much more effective workout and provides proven results over a longer period of time vs. going to the gym daily and pounding away on a treadmill or spin class.

Example:

Morning:  Walk 25 minutes either outside or on treadmill; do 15 minutes of yoga stretches and some light weights (multiple exercises/multiple reps)

Afternoon:  Take a lunchtime walk before you eat (starts the fat burn process)

Evening:  Go for a walk / jog, or use the elliptical; do a 25-40 minute resistance or boot camp routine; end with 20 minutes of yoga stretches

Doing this 5 – 6 days a week will change your life

Again, the workouts will be tailored to your fitness goals and those stubborn areas you wish to work on.

Example:

  • if you are looking to strengthen your core, we will create your routine to accomplish this with strict core exercises mixed with some resistance training and light weights.
  • want to tone that butt of yours, we will work in a number of squat exercises with a fantastic Barre routine.
  • need to lengthen and tone as well as get a good work out?  Power Yoga/Barre is your modality.

We will work together, as a team, to get you started on your fitness goals which will also include a comprehensive nutrition program as well.

No, you do not have to buy special meals or supplements from me.  We will simply talk about healthy eating habits as well as what supplements may be right for you (you will purchase them when and where you are happy doing so).

I specialize in living a healthy and empowered life and in my experience you accomplish this by being a whole healthy being…emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Balance!

Contact us today!