Daily Prompt – Betrayed

via Prompts: Betrayed

Where do I begin on betrayal, shall I start with childhood or adulthood?

OR

How about a less victim approach…how about the betrayal I experienced within myself.

Self care and self love are not buzz words, they are real.  The people that call them “buzz words” or think its “trendy” to love themselves are in fear and denial and are betraying themselves the way I did for the entire first half of my life.

As I mentioned in my previous writings, the Universe is a real thing and it truly does give you messages and over time if you choose to ignore them, the Universe will step in, shake things up and if you are lucky you will learn the lesson you are meant to learn.  If you do not, then you are betraying yourself.  You have turned your back on yourself and you will learn even deeper lessons by doing so.

There is betrayal on a deep level in so many areas, we can be betrayed by our parents, our husbands, our friends, but ultimately the deepest betrayal is the one we experience with ourselves.  This is the only one that truly matters.  Family can pass, husbands can leave, friendships fade, the only person guaranteed to stay with you…is yourself.  So do not betray yourself, you need you.

~Respect and Honor Yourself~

Ways to Honor Yourself

I am a self-proclaimed expert in the art of self-love and self-care.  I have gone from abusing myself in many ways to falling madly in love with myself on so many levels.

Self-love is such a personal thing that it is almost impossible for me to tell someone exactly how to love themselves, however, I feel I am educated enough on the topic to be able to make suggestions on where to start when someone is first entering their Journey into self-love and self-care.

Routines are very important because consistency is the key to any successful change.  It takes 21-26 days for a routine to become a habit.  In the beginning you will have to remind yourself that its important to do xyz… however, over time, it will just be a natural part of your day and one that you will look forward to.

For instance, I used to fear mornings…I would wake up with so many thoughts circling around in my head.  I would instantly feel alone and anxious.  So, when I started on my Journey to healing the first thing I created was a morning routine.  I created a beautiful and peaceful morning routine that eased my anxiety, soothed my soul and prepared me for the day ahead.  This routine is so amazing that I actually look forward to my mornings now, for the first time in my life.

So I speak from experience when I provide suggestions and ideas that may help you.


Below are ways you can honor yourself each and every day:

  1. Respect your body – there are so many levels of this topic that I would love to address but will focus on this one area – your body is yours and not to be given to anyone who doesn’t honor you.  Respect yourself and others will follow suit.
  2. Honor where you are at – wherever you are in life, know that you are exactly where you need to be at that moment.  Know that nothing stays the same forever, we have free will and the ability to create change and suffering doesn’t last.
  3. Feel your feelings – whatever they are…feel them.  Anxious, sad, mad, happy, elated, excited, nervous.  Sit with them and feel them.  Let them guide you.  If you are unhappy or anxious do not stuff them or hide them, they will resurface with a vengeance.  Feel them, and then let them go.
  4. Treat yourself – what do you enjoy?  a coffee at the cafe, massages, dinner with friends, a weekend retreat, yoga a few times a week, facials, hot baths?  what is your thing?  whatever it is…do it.
  5. Forgive yourself – we are human and make mistakes, lots of them!   Forgive yourself for those you have hurt, for the bad choices you made, for the hurt you caused yourself, acknowledge these things and forgive yourself.  Then let it go.
  6. Tell yourself how amazing you are – because you are smart, kind, loving, sweet, beautiful, hard working and so many other things.  Tell yourself.  Don’t wait for someone else to validate you, validate yourself.
  7. Celebrate your wins – there is always a win, even if all you did was get out of bed, get your kids off to school, make it to work on time, those are wins!
  8. Support yourself through losses – you will have down days, things that didn’t go as planned, someone will hurt you or you will hurt someone.  Support yourself through those moments.
  9. Relax and rest your soul – take some time for you and only you. Give yourself a much needed time out.  Read a book, take a bath, walk in the park, get a pedicure, go to the gym, roll out the mat and do some yoga.  Whatever it is that fills your soul, do it.
  10. Find quiet time – create a “quiet zone” at home, decorate that space and deem it yours.  Use that space for your quiet time, no screens (TV, iPhone, iPad, etc.).  Close your eyes, meditate, listen to music, read.
  11. Exercise – this topic is in every single blog I write and I will beat it to death. Our bodies need movement.  Find what you enjoy and can commit to and move your body.  Walking, hiking, yoga, Pilates, Barre, HIIT, boot camp, etc.  Get on that treadmill, go to the park, do yoga at home or a studio, download a boot camp app.  Just commit to at least 3x a week of movement.
  12. Do things you love – are you creative – start by doing some DIY projects, enjoy time with people – join or start a MeetUp group, want to learn something new – take a class.  The sky is the limit.
  13. Put yourself first – it is not selfish!
  14. Set goalsgoal setting is very empowering and keeps us on task.  It also helps us manifest the things we desire.
  15. Seek solace in nature – nature is very grounding and provides us with a direct connection to earth. Spending time in nature, either on the beach, in the woods, planting in your garden can help ease anxiety and ground us back to a healthy place.
  16. Feed your body nourishing foods – you are what you eat, enough said!

I hope you can identify with a number of these suggestions.

Contact Us for a free coaching session.

~joy~love~light~

-Avesha

Pragmatic vs. Magical Thinking..a lesson

During a session with my therapist we discussed relationships, past and potential.  When he asked me what I wanted, I told him I had received exactly what I had asked for…my ex-husband.  I shared that I felt like I went to a counter, ordered my person and they delivered him to me exactly how I described.  Kind of like when you order at Starbucks and they nail it, amazing feeling right?

As I described how my ex-husband entered my life….my therapist said “wow, that sounds magical” and my response was “oh yes, it was”.  In all reality, the way I tell the story, it does sound quite magical, however, magical isn’t always reality.

So this is why I go to therapy <smiles>.  My therapist says to me, “well that certainly is magical, but let me give you a pragmatic perspective”.  So we went on to what I like to call deep dive and break down every little detail that I considered magical, with his pragmatic approach.  Sure enough, I had completely dramatized the entire relationship…from the beginning of our courtship to the demise of our marriage.  He apologized for busting my magical bubble, but I was OK with it, very much so.  The reality was refreshing.

I absorbed that conversation as I got home and started to really process the reality of the nine years I spent with this person.  I used the pragmatic approach and found that the reality was much different than the fantasy I had created.  The boy meets girl story….wasn’t so magical, in fact it was quite dysfunctional and if I were who that girl today on the day that he entered my life…things would be much different.  Thank God for therapy, self-love and time alone.

That being said, pragmatic might be my favorite word right now as I have taken off my rose colored glasses and I am committed to using this approach in all areas of my life.  I am ready to see things for what they really are vs. what we make them out to be or how we may perceive them may although that may not be what the reality of the situation actually is.  Perspective is good which is why having a trusted therapist or Life Coach is such a blessing and critical when you are working to change your life’s path.

So today I encourage you to deep dive into your life and be pragmatic about the details – ask yourself, am I in reality or is this magical thinking.

Till Soon!

~joy~light~love~

**As always, if you are interested in scheduling a free Life Coaching session please Contact Avesha Empower today**

How do you start your day?

“Every day we are born again” – Buddha

Over time and by creating daily KeyStone Habits you can learn to transform your life into the one you deserve.  For this, I like to use the term – stepping stones.  Every little step you take brings you one step closer to your new and healthy life.

With stepping stones you literally take each and every day, one step at a time.  It takes self awareness, inspiration, determination and the drive to want to change and the commitment to stay on task (and focused) as you begin your new Journey.  I know, because I have done this work and although there were times I wanted to quit, I am so grateful I didn’t.

It takes 26 days for a habit to become a lifestyle.

There are so many ways to begin making little but impactful changes in your life. Personally I found that starting with a morning routine was the best place to begin my Journey to an emotionally healthy life.

Thankfully I am a morning person so creating a morning routine was exciting for me.  This routine is very important to me as it provides structure and gives me something to look forward to as I rise in the morning.  This positive start to my day gets my head in the right place so I am ready to tackle my day with a clear mind and a peaceful soul.

I am grateful for this practice and I continue to alter it to adjust to life’s little changes and challenges.


Below are some”morning ritual” ideas to help you create your own daily practice –

  • Wake up with the sunrise (“early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise” – Benjamin Franklin, famously)
  • Drink a glass of room temperature water (with lemon if you can – fantastic liver cleanse)
  • Walk the dog / get on the treadmill (I don’t care how cold or hot it is, get moving)
  • Make a green smoothie – google smoothie recipes for some awesome ideas
  • Brush your teeth, wash your face, give yourself a mini facial (I have some fantastic organic facial recipes to share)
  • Do at least 15 minutes of yoga stretches or if you are feeling bold do a 30 minute power yoga session 🙂
  • Start an exercise routine
  • Meditate for at least 5 minutes (download the Simple Habit, Calm or HeadSpace app for an easy guided meditation)
  • Practice grounding and earthing
  • Make a hot cup of coffee or tea – drink it slow and savor the flavor 🙂
  • Write in your journal (express your gratitude, set your goals, write down your worries and let them go) – Don’t know how to journal or where to begin?  start here
  • Read your gratitude list out loud and thank the Universe, God, Buddha, whatever you believe in for another beautiful day in this life
  • Take a hot shower and be in the moment (you can also take a hot bath with Epsom salt and lavender before bed to wash away the day)
  • Get ready for your day (do your hair, put on makeup)
  • Dress to impress (even if you work from home – yoga pants are not pants)
  • If you commute, put on your favorite music or audio book – enjoy the time you have to yourself

Its just as easy and important to create an “evening wind-down ritual” as well (Contact Us for ideas to create your evening ritual).

Until soon!

Namaste

Patience

via Daily Prompt: Patience

Funny, learning patience and to trust the Universe is my ultimate life goal.  Patience really is a practice and something you need to be cognitive of especially if you are someone like me.  My initial response is to control a process and see it to the end, becoming impatient or frustrated when the process does not go as intended.  When you practice patience you are letting go of control and trusting that the Universe knows exactly what the outcome should be, despite what your intentions are.

I am a fire sign, patience is not my strong suit but it will be, over time.

Namaste

Things I wish I did years ago…

But I am putting them into practice now!  So, better late than not at all.

I could share a long story about why these are critical exercises but I don’t feel that is necessary.  We all have our story and my hope here is to provide guidance to those who need it.

So here we go….

  1. Embrace the difficult – there is power in the pain, strength in the struggle and knowledge you receive from lessons you are meant to learn. My advice: learn your lessons the first time and there will be less struggle.   Struggle = success, strength & progress
  2. Exercise Daily! – if you have been following me or have read any of my blogs you know I believe that exercise is the end all be all to happiness or at least the start of it.  I believe the Journey to happiness starts with giving your body the movement that it needs to release the essential endorphins and get the happiness flowing inside you.  We were NOT made to be sedentary.  Get moving, start exercising TODAY!  Take a walk, get on your treadmill, do some yoga, go to the gym.  Whatever you fancy…do it.
  3. Be Grateful – for every single aspect of your life.  Even the struggle.  Wake up and be grateful you are alive, for your hot cup of coffee, for sunlight, a job that pays you, friends that you spend time with.  There is ALWAYS something to be grateful for.  Gratitude = manifesting more things to be grateful for
  4. Enjoy the simplicity of life – wake up with the sunrise, take a walk in nature, read to your kids, cook a nice meal, make a hot cup of coffee or tea and sit on the deck and just listen to the birds, play in your garden, read a good book, take a walk at sunset and thank the Universe for another day.  It is the simplicity of life that brings us the most happiness, believe it or not.
  5. Keep a Journal or two – I have multiple journals…one for my thoughts, one for my goals, a small one that I carry around with me where I jot down ideas, stories or things I simply want to try.   Journaling is a fabulous way to release the ruminating thoughts that take over your brain.  It is also one of the top Keystone Habits (after exercise).  I journal every morning as part of my morning ritual.
  6. Complain less and appreciate more – if things are hard and you are at your end, instead of complaining, which solves nothing, find solutions.  Make small changes (baby steps), start implementing Keystone Habits, you must do something OR accept what is.  Complaining = negative energy
  7. Don’t settle for less than you deserve – if you are not ready for a relationship, do not start one.  If you are dating and you know the person isn’t right for you…let them go.  Learn how to be with yourself.  Figure out what you want in a person and don’t settle for anything less.  You know what you want, and what you are worth so why settle for anything less?  Settling = cheating yourself out of something amazing
  8. Do not judge others – this was and is still a huge lesson for me.  It’s very easy for us to make a judgment based off an encounter with someone.  However, we don’t know their life story and have no idea what their struggle is.  So we make a judgment about them that is completely unfair.  You do not know where a person has been or what they are going through, so be kind and accept them for who they are and where they are at that moment.
  9. Be kind for no reason – smile at the cashier at Target, maybe she doesn’t smile back or even know why you’re smiling, it doesn’t matter.  Say “good morning” to people as you walk down the street to your office.  Compliment someone’s shoes, hair or hat.  Hold the door or elevator.  Do something nice for someone, you have no idea what a person is going through and you might just make their day.
  10. De-Clutter and simplify – you have read this before, but its true…get rid of clutter, remove all items you no longer use.  If you haven’t touched it in three years and is not a family heirloom and it doesn’t hold sweet memories..toss it!  Downsize, live within your means and surround yourself with things that bring out the best in you.
  11. Practice patience – this is another practice I am working on and I admit I am not very good at but it is something I practice daily.  Patience is a skill that we are not born with, it needs to be developed.  For those of us fire signs 🙂  we tend to have less patience and more energy than most people.  There are those with a more laid back approach to life whereas patience comes a little easier than those of us who take a more aggressive approach to life.  However, patience can be taught, learned and implemented.  It is critical to our success to have patience and trust that the Universe knows exactly what we need and when we need it.
  12. Letting go of the past – I have said it before and I will say it again, the past does not define us and it has no place in our present and our future.  If you have learned your lessons and are on the right path you will no longer need to revisit the past, it has nothing to offer you.  You can remember good moments, but don’t focus on them so much that you are not mindful of the present and especially the now, because this moment really is all any of us have.  So “be here now” should be your mantra…if you find your mind wandering to a memory of the past…honor it and say to yourself “be here now” and move on and focus on that moment, as best you can.  Letting go of the past and being mindful is hard and takes work but your brain can be re-trained to not wander off to the past and get stuck there.  Remember…be here now.
  13. Love yourself – madly and unconditionally.  This is a hard concept for some, I know it was for me.  I didn’t understand it until I started a self-love/self-care ritual and I learned how magical it is to put yourself first and to fall madly in love with yourself.  I have written several articles which have been published in Elephant Journal Magazine (love this magazine) about self-love and taking care of yourself and how to ease anxiety.  Read them at your leisure 🙂

https://www.elephantjournal.com/now/5-simple-grounding-exercises-to-ease-anxiety-the-stress-of-daily-life/ and

https://www.elephantjournal.com/now/how-to-practice-self-love-daily/

I pray a number of these exercises resonate with you.  You don’t need to identify with all of them, but you should find the ones that do resonate with you and put them into practice.

Just do the best you can to be your best self every day and you will start seeing changes and start feeling better about yourself and the choices you are making.

If you would like to work together to focus on these, please contact us.

Namaste