Anxiety

– The only way over it, is through it! –

Anxiety is a fear based emotion and/or feeling.  It is the feeling of a lack of control.  However, it can exist only if we feed it.

We feed anxiety by either by living in the past and wishing for a different outcome or by trying to predict or control the events of our future.

On a very basic level anxiety is a lack of trust in ourselves and the Universe.  A worry of what is to come.  An inability to process and accept the past.  It is the action of trying to prevent a certain outcome by driving it a certain way (not trusting the Universe).    It is a lack of forgiveness of others and Self.

Anxiety = fear

The anecdote for fear is to trust Self and the Universe.  We need to stop trying to control the outcome and allow the magic of the Universe to unfold.  We spend so much time trying to steer the events of our lives and dictate where we think they should go, that we end up missing the magic of where it could lead us.  We need to trust.

Anxiety will not subside on its own.  We must resolve the underlying fear or trauma before the anxiety can start to dissipate.

  1. We must dig deep and explore our past and present Self;
  2. We must let go of what we are trying to forget (but can’t);
  3. We must let go of what we fear to lose;
  4. We must not try to run from it, hide from it, nor should we feed it or mask it and expect it to go away.

We must look at anxiety/fear as if we are holding on to a very short rope.  Holding on to this rope is exhausting, draining and it is emotionally killing us.  However, this fear of letting go of the rope has become our lifeline and a way to avoid the unknown.

Letting go of that rope IS scary, however, letting goes frees you and allows you to BE!

  • Be you
  • Be happy
  • Be free
  • Be strong
  • Be loved
  • Be content
  • Be empowered
  • Be still
  • Be safe

JUST BE!!!

How do you get rid of the anxiety?

Let go of the rope!

  1. have faith – find your spirituality
  2. create a blank slate/fresh start – the life of your dreams
  3. live a clean life
  4. exercise
  5. do the right thing
  6. don’t keep secrets
  7. listen to and trust you intuition
  8. surround yourself with happy people
  9. do not run from your problems
  10. stop self medicating
  11. ask for help
  12. see a counselor/coach/therapist
  13. talk through your fears and issues
  14. feel your feelings
  15. confront childhood trauma
  16. feel – cry – repeat
  17. learn to trust yourself
  18. figure out who YOU are
  19. give up all vices (drugs, alcohol, food)
  20. enjoy the moment for what it is
  21. be in nature
  22. journal your thoughts and feelings
  23. express gratitude
  24. fall in love (with yourself and others)
  25. surround yourself with peace
  26. remove physical and emotional clutter
  27. remove those that are toxic from your life
  28. create a self care routine

Sadly I spent most of my life (starting at a very young age) living in an anxious state.  This is a horrible way to exist.  It wasn’t until I worked through my childhood trauma, abandonment and fears that I started to notice the anxiety lessen until it eventually disappeared.

I also learned coping skills to help me work through those horribly anxious moments (triggers can cause deep anxiety).  Gratefully I am able to reach into my tool belt to find the best tool to ward off the anxiety before it takes over.

Once we accept the concept that we, ourselves, actually feed the anxiety with our very own thoughts (and worry), we are able to work to change our mindset and start focusing on the positive.  Another way to ward of anxiety is to get involved in something you enjoy so you are able to change your mindset before your mind starts taking over with negative thoughts (read Grounding exercises to ease anxiety and the stress of daily life).

If you would like more information on how to work through anxiety or would like to schedule a coaching appointment, please contact us Coaching

Love, light, laughter and peace

Avesha

 

 

 

 

How to make home your “sacred place”

I write a lot of self love and self care articles and I am grateful that a lot of them have been published with some really cool sites.  Most of my articles are focused on how to live your best life as your best self, how to practice self love daily, and how to be what you wish to attract, etc.  I write completely from experience and sweat labor.  I have done the work, and it really is work.  In doing the work I have come across many different levels of healing and best ways to implement a self care, self love routine and I love sharing my ideas and what has worked for me.

In these articles I always mention having a sacred space in your home which is something you definitely want to have and this space critical to you being able to completely immerse yourself in your spiritual practice.  Now I want to take this concept one step or even multiple steps further and encourage you to create an entire home that is your sacred space.

Whether you live alone or have multiple family members living with you, you can still deem your home as your very own sacred space.

Our home is where we spend most of our life.  It is where we raise our children, build our marriages, lay our heads to rest, enjoy sexual experiences, etc.

Some people have houses that they don’t connect with therefore their house is not their “home“.  If this is you, you first need to make your house your “home“.  A place you enjoy being, a place that is safe and comforting to you even if you are not a home body and enjoy going out and traveling and going away on weekends, you still want a wonderful place to come home to.

Home is where you soul should reside and be free.  Home is where you should seek solace after a tough day (i.e. I can’t wait to go home).

Once you feel your house is your home, a place you love and feel comforted….then you can move on to making it sacred.

  1.  Fill your home with things that make you happy (examples:  wall hangings, books, nic nacks, candles, pottery, photos, rocks, statutes)
  2. Create a technology free zone – implement time and space where no technology is used (dinner time/table, meditation/yoga space)
  3. Focus on each room and what feelings you desire to feel in each room (examples:  the bedroom should be focused around love so include lots of pinks and reds; the kitchen should be happy and bright; a living room is about family so put up lots of family photos and mirrors to reflect the love in the room; a master bath (if you have one) should represent relaxation and cleansing so maybe design it in a spa theme with soft colors, thick towels, lots of rocks, candles, and soaps / bath salts).  The options are endless.
  4. Fill each room with plants and/or fresh flowers from your garden or a local garden store
  5. Infuse scents into the air that help to create a calming atmosphere – you can buy an infuser and essential oils or burn soy candles in soothing scents
  6. Make sure lighting throughout your home is soothing and not offensive
  7. Remove all clutter (you can have a clutter removal ceremony, yes this exists)
  8. Make sure each room flows freely so that kinetic energy can move through each room effortlessly.  Move furniture around so that the energy is your home is not blocked

This is a good start for creating your sacred home space.  If you desire more information or advice on where to begin, please contact us anytime and we can help.

It is so critical to love where you live, creating a sacred home space will make your house a true home.

Light, love, peace and happiness!

-Avesha

 

Becoming the best You!

I empower you to ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Are you living as the best version of yourself?
  2. Are you living your life in a way that brings you peace and contentment?
  3. Am I honoring myself and truly living my best life?

The following will help you as you do the work to become your best self!

Practice Balance

We must balance our life in order to be our best and most healthy self.  When we are trying to “manage” life without balance we tend to burn out quickly.

Creating a balanced lifestyle will help you avoid the crash & burn which leads to anxiety, depression and stress.  Commit to a self care routine – even 15 minutes a day doing something for yourself (i.e. yoga, meditating, taking a walk or a soak in an Epsom salt and lavender bath) will re-charge and refresh your soul.

Shift your self perception

During the process of learning who you are, you will experience painful moments.

Rather than resisting or struggling against these times, breathe into them. Shift your perspective so that you appreciate these moments knowing they are helping you grow.

I read this sentence in an article recently and it resonated with me “Feel it, its going to hurt. But every moment you are sobbing, you are doing the work.  Every moment you are hurting, you are healing.  The only way out, is through.”

Thank the Universe for this learning opportunity, forgive yourself and those who have hurt you and focus on all the wonderful things that make you who you are.

Have and live your values

What is your Mantra?

If you haven’t defined the best version of yourself, begin with your values.

What are the most important values in your personal life and work?

What values do you use to define the person you are now and who do you want to be in the future.

Get very clear on those and write your values in your journal and add to them over time as you start to shift perspective.

Vision

Spend some time with yourself and create a vision for your future life.  Look at every aspect of your life and envision how you want it to look 1 year from now, 5 years from now, etc.

You can do this through journaling, drawing, vision boards etc.

This is a fun  and creative way to manifest a vision.

Create a Put into Action Plan

Once you have brought your vision to life it is time to execute an action plan on how to receive all you desire.  Setting goals is important and a huge part of creating the vision.  Use stepping stones to get there….one step at a time.

Create rituals

I love rituals as I speak of them in almost every blog.  Rituals create a pattern or a habit and create consistency which is critical with self-love and self-care.  It is easy to start something and eventually fizzle out.  I personally have learned from experience that rituals keep us on task and motivated to keep going.

Let go

We all have those people in our life that have been in our life a while, however we aren’t sure why we still engage with them.  They are a negative time-suck and are actually toxic to our existence.  We dodge their phone calls, don’t return their texts but still we keep them around.

Let them go!

If they no longer serve you in a positive way, if you feel drained from being in their presence, let them go.

By letting them go you will open the door for something better.

Simplify

Determine what you really need in life to be happy. Usually its the simplicity of life that brings us the happiest moments.

Exercise:  host a de-clutter ritual in your home.  It can be very healing.

Create a life you don’t need a vacation from

How many times do you hear people say, “uh, I need a vacation”.  Guess what, you can go away but you must return.  Since a vacation isn’t forever why don’t you create a life that you don’t need to run away from.  Make your home your sanctuary.  Create rituals in your life that give you a break from reality without having to spend thousands to do so.

Trust your intuition

Listen to your gut….always.  Intuition will never steer you the wrong way.

Focus on exercise/nutrition

Start an exercise routine today if you haven’t already.  There are so many wonderful and free resources out there to help you design your own wellness routine.  If you need help creating this routine, please contact me at aveshaempower@gmail.com and we will get you started.  This also includes nutrition.  Start a Keystone Habit involving exercise and eating healthy and watch everything else fall into place.

Work on forgiveness and healing

Where you are wounded, where you are hurt, where you are frightened — seek healing. Restore yourself. Get well again. Do what must be done to heal. You can’t be the best version of yourself when you are emotionally, mentally, or physically unwell.

Express gratitude

Spend a few minutes in gratitude every day through mindful meditation. Focus on all the blessings in your life and thank the Universe for them. Being grateful for what you do have and acknowledging that gratitude will change your mindset over time.

Give back

There are many ways to give back, either through community work or spending time with your friends and sharing this new mindset with your them.  Everyone can benefit from being their happiest and healthiest self.

What is your best version of yourself, and how are you working to become that person?

Namaste’

Who are you?

Through the process of self-discovery I realized that I had spent so much time living the way I wanted others to see me that I wasn’t being my true and authentic self. After much time alone in self-discovery mode I have truly found my path on this Journey and it is incredible.

One of the best things that I did was removing myself from all social media (i.e. Facebook, Instagram). In fact this is first thing I require my coaching clients to do. This helps them regain their sense of worth, empowers them to validate themselves and frees up a lot of time that they were spending looking at other people’s lives and comparing their own lives to another’s. This is not healthy.

My advice to everyone who is on a Journey of healing is — GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA! Yes, I am yelling 🙂

Once you remove yourself from social media or at least Facebook, you can start to learn who you are and get to know yourself without all of the noise and the constant chaos of social media. You won’t be posting something in hopes of validation that someone “liked” it and disappointment when they don’t. Instead, that validation will come from within. It is critical that you learn to validate yourself and not seek your self worth from others.

It took me a good solid and downright painful year of solitude to figure out who I was, the good and the not so good. I found it to be easier to start with the broken side of me, because that is usually the most obvious and well its the hardest to face and conquer.

I learned very quickly that I was a complete control freak which derived from a severe fear of abandonment. I literally tried to control every single aspect of my life. I knew this needed to change. So I dug deep with a therapist and we started working to heal those childhood wounds. I learned that because of my need for control, I wasn’t even remotely enjoying life I was steering and driving it to go the way I thought it needed to go and missing the beauty of surprise which can be so magical. I was missing all of the magic.

The reality is, it is impossible to control every aspect of our lives, but this is a hard lesson to learn for sure.

I learned many other things about myself which were depressing, interesting, eye opening and confusing all at the same time but I have to say, this Journey of self discovery has been truly amazing. Learning about yourself is cathartic on so many levels and really opens up the doors to healing.

So, after I started working through the “bad” stuff, the positive parts of me surfaced and I have discovered some really neat things about me.

Like….I am more of an introvert than an extrovert, which was highly surprising to me. In the past I always centered myself around people and truly felt I needed people to survive. This is no longer the case. I understand now that it was my intense fear of being alone that drove a more extroverted behavior and not that I was an actual extrovert.

I also learned that I am very creative, intuitive and philosophical a true to form Sagittarius.

As a result of all this work, I really appreciate and even crave my alone/down time so much, I process information differently, I look forward to every moment I spend on my yoga mat and I am actually able to meditate on my own now. I used to think with meditation you had to shut down your brain to the point that no thoughts entered which is impossible and not what is required. Once I got the concept of simply “resting your body and mind” even for 5 minutes, I saw the benefits immediately.

Because of this transition I am a better person. My relationships are stronger and deeper. I have zero tolerance for toxic people and because of this I made a conscious choice to only surround myself with people who I feel good around. Sounds a little selfish, but it isn’t. Life is short and spending it with people who emotionally drain you or continuously take from you is not healthy, for either person. 

Always choose yourself.

The old me used to be busy constantly, planning my weekends in advance and making sure I always had a social function to attend or in the very least, people to spend time with. Now, I value my time so much, that I refuse to plan my life away. Some things are avoidable and there are times you need to plan things in advance. But my weekends are my time and most of the time I don’t know what I want to do until I tackle the day and sometimes I just want to do my own thing with no responsibilities or commitments and I want that flexibility to decide. This is OK!

Through this amazing transformation I have learned who I am as a person, a mother, friend, co-worker, employee and person of society and I truly like who I am. There are things I am working on and things that will not change that I have to accept about myself, but overall I am the healthiest I have ever been. I am grateful to have had this time to find me.

So, I encourage you to ask yourself…who are you? do you like you? and what would you change if you could?

Namaste’

Interested in life coaching?

Visit http://www.AveshaEmpower.com and contact us to schedule a free consultation

Emotional pain and how it affects us..

I haven’t written in a few days mainly because I have been dealing with intense muscle knots that have turned into a perceived pinched nerve.  Let’s just say I have gone a little koo koo trying to figure out how to “fix” me and feel better.

During my meditation yesterday I started sobbing…you know that uncontrollable sobbing that cleanses your soul?  I realized at that moment what the knots are.

Deep emotional pain.

Once the sobbing subsided, I created my intention for my yoga practice.  It was to let go of my past and to forgive myself for bad decisions as well as forgive those who have hurt me, even intentionally.

After my meditation and yoga practice I took a hot bath with lavender, frankincense and Epsom salt.   Afterwards, I felt so free…cleansed…and much lighter.  However by the time I settled down for the evening,  my knots had returned and I experienced another sleepless night.

The next day, by late morning I made space for some meditation and a bit of yoga.  Once I hit the mat, got into position and lit the sage…tears started pouring down my face again.  Ahhh, more emotional pain.  So I let it all out and allowed myself to feel and process whatever I needed to and then I resumed the meditation.

My lesson….healing just like grief is not linear, it is a roller coaster of emotions and feelings.

Trauma doesn’t disappear, it only fades, and I am also learning that I must manage it closely forever.  Time alone does nothing, what I do with that time is everything!

Healing takes patience, persistence, commitment and courage.

Meditation, therapy, energy work, writing, creativity, feeling your feelings are all modalities to healing properly and regaining all that you lost and finding what you never had.

Although this is truly so much work, the benefits are worth the struggle.

They say you are your thoughts and that is 100% the truth.  What you do think about, you bring about.  So even when you are blue, I encourage you to focus on what you do have, I empower you to be your best self and to allow yourself to feel what you are meant to feel so you can move forward.

I am doing it right along with you.

Love, light and empowerment

-A

 

 

What I wish I always knew

When you are broken, let it motivate you to become who you really are meant to be.

Whatever that is.  Whoever that is.

Don’t let that experience go to waste.  Embrace it.  Feel it.  Own it.  Despise it.  Then love it.  Respect it.

It teaches you something.

Be YOU!

Whatever that is.  Whoever that is.

It is important that you learn the lesson or it will repeat and beat you up ten fold next time.

Look at yourself in the mirror, write yourself a love note, meditate and thank God for creating you.

Because there is only one you and you are AMAZING!
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Be who you wish to meet!

Would you date yourself?

I have been empowering myself the past few days to really figure out who I am, what makes me tick, what I want and who I want to spend the rest of my life with.  The message I received is….”would you date yourself?”

Chances are, if I don’t want to be with myself, why would anyone else want to be with me.  Right?

Yesterday I was driving to town and I drove by a church, out front it had a sign that said “Be Who You Want to Meet”.  Awesome!  I love when I get messages like that.  They are so blatant but so intimate and personal at the same time.

So many of us ask the Universe for messages and we miss them because we don’t accept these little messages as gifts from the Universe, but that is what they are.

After talking to a friend about some personal goals I am trying to achieve, I told him about my question…would I date myself.  He found this intriguing, as do I.

So I asked myself the question and the answer is private so I will not be sharing in this post – but let me just say, once you ask yourself this question, it prompts more questions and is very helpful with self discovery.

This simple question can lead to so many other questions that can then guide you to discover what areas you need to focus on to further develop yourself.

So, today I empower you to ask yourself…”would I date me”???

And then explore the why’s of yes and no…and focus on the positive not just the negative.

For example you might say, “yes of course I would date myself!” with sheer confidence..like, “duh, why wouldn’t I, that’s just silly!”

Ok, yes, you are awesome and you would date yourself, now tell yourself why, maybe list all the reasons. (i.e. I am super smart, funny, a lot of fun to be with, spontaneous, good looking, etc).    Then ask yourself….would you date yourself for an extended period of time?  would you marry yourself?  are there things that would annoy you and if so, what are they? what do you see as a problem area if you were to date or marry yourself (i.e. are you stubborn, a poor communicator, selfish, a bad listener, can’t compromise, etc.”)

What a fantastic way to discover – (a) why you are able to attract but not sustain a partner (b) not attract a partner at all (c) or why you aren’t able to commit (d) why you are fantastic at long term relationships, etc.

We are all unique and have our own relationship successes and struggles.  Sometimes we know people who are super lucky and seem to have no issues with relationships and we also know people who can’t seem to get it right, ever (this was me).

They say what you focus on and where you put your energy is what you are manifesting.  So, when you want to change career fields what do you do?  you educate yourself, study, take courses, get certified etc.  Then you start looking for the job, putting your feelers out, creating an amazing resume and then go online and apply for jobs.  Therein starts the manifestation process.  You are now focusing your energy on this new “thing” you desire and that is how to manifest what you want.

Same goes for a relationship.  You attract, what you are.  You spend your energy on the wrong people, that is what you will continuously attract.

If you are in a place of emotional unavailability..guess what you will manifest and draw to you?  yep, someone who is also emotionally unavailable.  Its really that simple.

It is not rocket science and the law of attraction is not hokey.  Think about it, ever have a bad day, you spill coffee on yourself and you get angry, then you get in the car and you are out of gas so you get even angrier then you get to work and you spill water all over your keyboard (yes all of this has happened to me).

The lesson here is, the more you feed that negative energy the more you will attract it.

If you simply, breathe…change your shirt or pants, and do not allow negative energy to take over, then you can carry on with your day.  Even if you are out of gas…ok, go to gas station and fill the tank and again, carry on with your day.  Leave all that negative energy behind.  Otherwise you will have an entire day filled with negative things happening.

You can also turn negative things around and make them positive.  The power really does live inside of you.

I digress.

So be who you want to meet.  Such a simple concept but so powerful at the same time.

Namaste