How do you start your day?

“Every day we are born again” – Buddha

Over time and by creating daily KeyStone Habits you can learn to transform your life into the one you deserve.  For this, I like to use the term – stepping stones.  Every little step you take brings you one step closer to your new and healthy life.

With stepping stones you literally take each and every day, one step at a time.  It takes self awareness, inspiration, determination and the drive to want to change and the commitment to stay on task (and focused) as you begin your new Journey.  I know, because I have done this work and although there were times I wanted to quit, I am so grateful I didn’t.

It takes 26 days for a habit to become a lifestyle.

There are so many ways to begin making little but impactful changes in your life. Personally I found that starting with a morning routine was the best place to begin my Journey to an emotionally healthy lifestyle.

Thankfully I am a morning person so creating a morning routine was easy as well as exciting for me.  This routine is very important to me as it provides me with much needed structure and it gives me something to look forward to each day as I rise in the morning.  This positive start to my day gets my head in the right place so I am ready to tackle my day with a clear mind and a peaceful soul.

I am grateful for this practice and I continue to alter it to adjust to life’s little changes and challenges.


Below are some”morning ritual” ideas to help you create your own daily practice –

  • Wake up with the sunrise (“early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise” – Benjamin Franklin, famously)
  • Drink a glass of room temperature water (with lemon if you can – fantastic liver cleanse)
  • Intermittent fasting
  • Walk the dog / get on the treadmill (I don’t care how cold or hot it is, get that body moving)
  • Make a collagen smoothie – google smoothie recipes for some awesome ideas
  • Brush your teeth, wash your face, give yourself a mini facial or at least a detox scrub (I have some fantastic organic facial recipes to share)
  • Do at least 20 minutes of yoga stretches or if you are feeling bold do a 30 minute power yoga session 🙂
  • Start an exercise routine
  • Make a hot cup of coffee or tea – drink it slow and savor the flavor 🙂
  • Meditate for at least 5 minutes (download the Simple Habit, Calm or HeadSpace app for an easy guided meditation) – or just sit in silence as you drink your tea/coffee/smoothie
  • Practice grounding and earthing
  • Peruse your garden and cut fresh flowers for your home – assuming you have a garden, if not, steal your neighbors flowers and put them in a vase (LOL, kidding, well, kind of)
  • Write in your journal (express your gratitude, set your goals, write down your worries and let them go) – Don’t know how to journal or where to begin?  start here
  • Read your gratitude list out loud and thank the Universe, God, Buddha, whatever you believe in for another beautiful day in this life
  • Take a hot shower and be in the moment (you can also take a hot bath with Epsom salt and lavender before bed to wash away the day)
  • Get ready for your day (do your hair, put on makeup)
  • Dress to impress (even if you work from home – yoga pants are not pants)
  • If you commute, put on your favorite music or audio book – enjoy the time you have to yourself

Its just as easy and important to create an “evening wind-down ritual” as well (Contact Us for ideas to create your evening ritual).

Until soon!

Namaste

The Mirror

Did you know that the people you surround yourself with are reflections of certain parts of yourself (ironically they are usually the parts you don’t quite like).

These people are your “mirror”.

What does this mean?

Quite simply, we attract what we are (or ourselves). Ever notice something irritating or infuriating about someone…could be your child, friend or your spouse?  Well, most likely you see something in them that you don’t like about yourself. They have a quality that you recognize and focus on that is something you wish to change about you.

Interesting concept huh?

There are those of us who are subconsciously reliving our youth traumas which contribute to our fears, anxieties, drama’s etc.  We are attracting those people, by our own design, so that they reflect the same dysfunctions in us by bringing them to the surface.  It’s like looking in the mirror and not liking what we see (emotionally).

As yourself these questions:

  1. Do you attract emotionally unavailable partners that are non-committal in relationships?
  2. Do you constantly focus on the relationships you can’t have without exploring why you are not attracting men/women who ARE available?
  3. Are you attracted to married women/men?
  4. Do you attract men/women who need “fixing”?
  5. Are you a magnet for negative people and gossip?
  6. Do you continuously have drama and dysfunction in your life?

If any of these scenario’s sounds familiar you need to explore deeply and ask yourself:

  1.  Am I emotionally available and able to commit to a healthy relationship?
  2.  Are there parts of me that need fixing that I am avoiding (old wounds) which is why I focus on him/her vs. myself?
  3.  Am I subconsciously working through childhood trauma (i.e. abandonment) by chasing unavailable partners?
  4.  Am I trying to protect myself therefor I attract which that which I cannot have?
  5. Am I part of the problem?
  6. Do I attract drama because of my own negativity? (drama can’t live unless you feed it)

Simply put, if you want to attract healthy people into your life.  If you desire healthy friendships and relationships (i.e. lovers, family, co-workers, etc.) then you yourself need to be healthy.

Remember people will treat you how you allow them to. This is usually a direct reflection of how you feel about and treat yourself. When you value yourself and love yourself there is no way you would let someone treat you bad or disrespect you.

If you take the time to work on yourself (self love/care) not only will you feel AMAZING but you will attract healthier people into your life and have deeper more meaningful relationships.

Start today with focusing on yourself..look in your own mirror and decide what part of you is attracting toxic people.

Remember, people will always show you who they are – believe them the first time.

Namaste

If you are interested in one on one coaching please click contact us.

Daily Prompt – Micro

via Daily Prompt: Micro

Do not micro-manage your relationships as this is a form of control. Trust the flow, the outcome, the purpose of this person entering your life.  Do not have expectations….relate without attachment.  Enjoy the relationship for what it is, without driving it to be what you want it to be.

This is especially true for children.  Let them be who they are, not who you want them to be.  Let them find their purpose, let them discover who they are, let them struggle…yes struggle (I know that is hard for the helicopter parent) because that struggle brings them skills to navigate through life.  Building life skills is critical to their development.  Let them fail, let them struggle, let them hurt…it will make them better people.

Namaste

 

This is your life!

What do you want?

Do you want to help people?  Do you want more wealth?  A better job?  To be skinnier? Healthier?  Stronger?  To be single or committed to someone?

This is the year to make it happen, trust me, it really is!

Whatever you want, you can have, ask and you shall receive.

Life is a series of choices, good and bad.  Life doesn’t happen to us, we make life happen.  The choices we make directly affects the path our life takes.

You want to be happier, change your attitude and the way you view things.  Be grateful for what you have and only focus on what you can change and make better.

Want to travel more, then find a way to make that happen.  Either through work, planning a family vacation, a girls trip or go solo….there are many ways to make travel a part of your life.

Want more down time? clear your schedule and make more time for YOU.  If you work, take a day off during the week and declare that day a YOU day.  Turn your phone off…seriously!  Go to the gym, get a facial or a pedicure, take a walk, read, go to a cafe and drink a latte in peace.  Whatever it is you enjoy doing do it.  If you are a stay at home mom, the same applies, while the kids are in school go celebrate YOU!.

Want to be healthier? Great, create a Wellness routine (nutrition and exercise) and stick to it.  There are plenty of online resources that can help you create a personalized wellness plan which includes a daily work out, meditation routine and nutrition menu.  Remember nothing has to be set in stone and everything can be modified, what you plan is just a guide.  Over time you will acclimate your plan to your routine.  If you need help, we can help you get started on your wellness Journey.  Just Contact Us

Want to redecorate your house, start a new hobby, start a MeetUp group, go out with friends more or join a book club?  DO IT!!!

Stop the excuses – they get you absolutely no where and so many people use them as crutches and truthfully they keep you from being your best self and enjoying life.

Here are some lame excuses:

  • I don’t have time
  • I am so busy
  • Work is crazy right now
  • The kids play baseball, basketball, football, do dance, etc. etc. etc.
  • Money is tight
  • I am single
  • I will get to it eventually
  • I will start tomorrow

Life is short, one day you will wake up and realize how much life has passed you by while you were busy making excuses.

Here are my responses to the excuses above:

  • Make time, you are in charge of your life/schedule
  • No one is that busy – trust me
  • Work will always be crazy, its work
  • So get your husband, a friend or another mother to drive one way while you go to the gym or take a class
  • Do something that doesn’t cost money
  • Ok single doesn’t mean dead, join a group, ask a friend, go by yourself
  • You will never get to it with that attitude

So act now, make your list of things you want to accomplish this year and start today!

Namaste’

How well do you know yourself – (self guided exercise)

As a follow-up to a previous post How well do you know yourself the worksheet below can help you self guide through some important questions to determine how well you really do know yourself.  The purpose of this exercise is to help you discover what you need to work on so you can find your true self.

As with anything, self-care work is a process.  I always refer to it as Stepping Stones.  It is a very delicate process and you need to take it one step at a time and not miss any steps.

  1. Describe yourself in 10 words or less (please use your own words – we are gauging how you view yourself not how others view you – they can be quite different)
  2. What is something you can change about yourself today that will benefit your future?
  3. What are you struggling with that no longer serves you and you can simply let go of and release?
  4. What deep needs do you have that aren’t being met?
  5. Are you holding back forgiveness (which is keeping you from moving forward)?  If so, to who do you owe forgiveness to?
  6. What negative thought patterns do you have?  do you ruminate these thoughts?
  7. Are you fully present with the people you love when you are with them?
  8. Are you making life more complicated than it needs to be?  Where and how?
  9. Are you mistreating your body or compromising your health? (i.e. over eating, drinking, smoking, over exercising, stressing, work compulsion)
  10. What do you feel most passionate about?
  11. What do you need more of in your life?
  12. What would your friends and family say your strengths and weaknesses are?
  13. What is your vision for yourself in the next 5 years?
  14. If you died tomorrow, what would be your biggest regret?  what would you regret not doing?
  15. Have you let go of past trauma?  are you letting it control your future?

This is a self guided exercise to open your mind and help you see where you need to put extra focus.

My suggestion, write all your answers in a journal or notebook and tackle one or two questions at a time.   Really put thought into your responses, remember you will be the only one seeing them.

Once you start working through the answers you will start understanding yourself better.  It’s pretty amazing.

If you would like to do this exercise together in a one on one coaching session please contact me at http://www.AveshaEmpower.com or aveshaempower@gmail.com and we can set up a time that is convenient for you.

Namaste’

– I am safe, I am grounded, I am balanced – 

 

 

 

 

A few of my favorite things….

I found that because of my past, I was punishing myself by not allowing myself to enjoy the little things in life. I had spent the past 45 years of my life just getting by. It has really been in the past year that I have slowed down and noticed things. I will tell you, the Universe does tell you when you need to do this. It nudges you to be more mindful when you are stuck inside your own head. It is easy to walk around thinking about the things you need to do. Easy to focus on what you don’t have in life. It takes the desire for change to switch that mindset into a more focused and positive one. Simply said, it takes work to be a mindful person.

So one part of my beautiful journey has been to spoil myself a little. The thought being if I don’t spoil myself, how do I expect anyone else to spoil me? (When I say spoiled, I mean it in a very humble sense. I believe all couples should spoil each other.)

In the past, I always chose relationships where I expected and received nothing in return. I would complain, but truthfully I created the relationship to be what it was, one sided. I simply didn’t feel I was worth spoiling. So I dated and even married men that refused to celebrate my birthday, made every holiday something to dread and if I ever wanted flowers on Valentines Day….forget it, it wasn’t worth the struggle.

This Journey has taught me that everyone is worth spoiling and that includes me. Every woman (and man) deserves to be loved, cared for and treated with respect and with that should come a little spoiling!

This includes receiving random love notes, birthday gifts, special cards for no reason, flowers on Valentines Day and any other day for that matter, a coffee in bed, forget me not gifts, etc. Whatever your version of spoiling is, you deserve it.

So here is what I have learned:

  • NEVER let anyone tell you that you don’t deserve these things
  • NEVER let anyone make you feel bad for wanting them
  • NEVER let anyone define your self worth
  • NEVER settle for someone who doesn’t make you feel alive, beautiful and special
  • NEVER give yourself to someone who won’t spoil you (and visa versa)

Remember, you are unique, every single one of you.  There is only one of you and that’s what makes you incredible.

I encourage you to read my previous blog How well do you know yourself (and as a follow up to that blog I will be posting a mini-workshop blog about getting to know yourself – which may also help you.)

So my favorite things as of today are my orange yoga mat, a new lavender vanilla candle (I just bought myself), essential oils (today my favorite is Clary Sage), my balance bracelet I purchased off of Etsy and my journal.

In addition, I love getting massages, having energy work, angel cards, medium readings and getting my nails and hair done. I love pampering myself with Epsom salt baths, restorative yoga, at home facials and oil rubs. These are the things that we can do for ourselves every day that say I love you…and this is critical for our well-being.  As you have heard and as I have said in previous posts, if you do not love yourself, how can anyone else truly love you?

So they say you can tell how a person feels about themselves by the way they look and behave. My advice, and I say this from experience…. honor yourself, take care of your body and your mind and never settle for less than you deserve. Spoil yourself. Buy yourself that new makeup, run a bath and put Epsom salt and lavender essential oil in the water, go get your nails done, take a yoga class, buy yourself flowers. Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.

You deserve it!

Namaste’

To sign up for life coaching, life skills coaching or an upcoming workshop visit us at http://www.AveshaEmpower.com