What I wish I always knew

When you are broken, let it motivate you to become who you really are meant to be.

Whatever that is.  Whoever that is.

Don’t let that experience go to waste.  Embrace it.  Feel it.  Own it.  Despise it.  Then love it.  Respect it.

It teaches you something.

Be YOU!

Whatever that is.  Whoever that is.

It is important that you learn the lesson or it will repeat and beat you up ten fold next time.

Look at yourself in the mirror, write yourself a love note, meditate and thank God for creating you.

Because there is only one you and you are AMAZING!
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How to practice self love daily

How do you start your day?

~Life is an endless process of self discovery~

Self-love is not a trend, it is not something you do when you feel like it.  You don’t just “do self-love” after a break up or after you experience trauma.  Self-love is a life long practice that needs to be added to your every day life. With self-love comes the releasing of negative thoughts and self-criticism by embracing more of a loving and positive acceptance of yourself through forgiveness of yourself and others.

The Universal concept is that our thoughts create our actions and therefore those thoughts dictate the outcome in our lives.  Self-love is a very powerful and necessary practice and critical if you want to have healthy relationships with others.

Self-love is not selfish!

Taking care of and loving ourselves and being a whole, sound and emotionally healthy person allows us to take care of others without it feeling like a burden. If you aren’t taking care of yourself, if you don’t rest and relax your soul, then you will be of no help to others— especially yourself.  You will eventually feel drained and eventually there will be nothing left to give.  You must give to yourself as well as give to others.

Below is a a simple self-love checklist that may seem overwhelming to you at first, however, I promise that if you commit to adding a majority of them into your daily routine or practice as I like to call it, every single day, you’ll see the benefits immediately.

45 Ways to Practice Self-Love

  1. Create a quiet and safe zone in your home (may it be a corner, a closet, or a spare rom and deem it your “space”)
  2. Buy yourself fresh flowers (or cut them from your garden and display them)
  3. Grow a garden of fresh vegetables
  4. Start an exercise routine (yoga, pilates, the gym, take a walk) – increase those endorphins (see Creating a workout routine you can and will stick to)
  5. Read, take a nap, listen to music, sit quietly – please just rest your soul
  6. Buy yourself some new makeup and play with it
  7. Create a daily bucket list and post it
  8. Repeat the following mantra “I love and accept myself”
  9. Make a list of all the things you like about yourself
  10. Create a gratitude journal (see How to start Journaling – Keystone Habit)
  11. Start your day with meditation and yoga
  12. Implement a “treat yourself day” (mine is Friday)
  13. Dress nice, even if you don’t have to, put on those earrings, scarf and lipstick and show the world how beautiful you are
  14. Take a breath between your bites of food and savor the taste
  15. Make yourself a hot cup of coffee or tea and savor each sip
  16. Have a protein or collagen smoothie every morning
  17. Sleep at least 7 hours a day
  18. Say no and be ok with it
  19. Pay it forward, always
  20. Make someone feel good whenever you can
  21. Smile often, even if no one is smiling at you (they may think you are weird but that is ok)
  22. Eat food that is nourishing (put down the boxed food – unless its treat day)
  23. Get a massage and have them use essential oils
  24. Go for a hike or long walk in nature
  25. Be confident (walk and talk with confidence)
  26. Learn something new – dance classes, yoga, tennis lessons, start or join a MeetUp group
  27. Host a ladies night
  28. Call a friend and laugh for hours about nothing (no complaining)
  29. Spend time with your kids before they grow up and move away 😦
  30. Get a new haircut and/or buy some new makeup
  31. Eat chocolate guilt free (maybe on treat day)
  32. When someone offers your a compliment, simply say, “Thank you”
  33. Travel solo
  34. Set a no screen time in your house (dinner, after 9, etc)
  35. Set goals (see Improve your life with these simple Keystone Habits)
  36. Take a day off and do something nice for yourself (go to the gym, coffee shop, shop, meet a friend for lunch, take a walk, sleep)
  37. Self-love mantra: “I am enough. I have enough. I do enough”
  38. Let go of what no longer serves you
  39. Buy a diffuser and infuse essential oils like lavender
  40. Write a letter to yourself and put it away for a year
  41. Host a dinner party
  42. Hire a coach or a counselor (see The real benefits of working with a Life Coach)
  43. Take a hot bath with Epsom salt and lavender (or whatever your favorite oil is)
  44. Make new friends (and remove those toxic ones)
  45. Clean out your closet and donate clothes you no longer wear

The biggest message I have is, be gentle with yourself and always honor where you are at every stage of your Journey.

The best advice I have been given – ever is to ~feel your feelings~

Namaste’

Contact Us if you would like to work with a coach to help you kick start your self-love and self care routine!

You may be the emotionally unavailable one, here’s why!

We have all dated that person, the one that is never quite ready for a commitment (with you).  They drive you to the brink of insanity and then pull you back with incredible passion that you have never experienced before.  They bring out a side to you that you didn’t know you had in you.  They are truly magical.

They keep you on your toes, as you wait with baited breath for every text, phone call and an eventual date.  Every date is magical…leaving you wanting more and more and when the date is over, its drama city…tears, anxiety, sadness, confusion, wondering when and if you are going to see them again.

They aren’t ready to give themselves up to you, however they have no problem spending all their time with you, having sex with you, sleeping over, eating your food, going on vacation with you, and everything else couples do…without the commitment and -oh  yeah – no monogamy.  They are using you.  Whether its for money, sex, validation, attention, a place to crash, someone to fill their voids, someone who keeps them from being alone (with themselves), a person to chill with until someone better comes along.  Whatever it is they need you are giving it to them and therefore they are using you.

Yet we believe in our souls that if we morph into exactly what they want you us to be, they will love us.  So we spend all our energy on making them happy, trying to make them love us (and they don’t), chasing them when they run and convincing them how amazing we are (they see it, they just don’t care).  Until one day you wake up and grasp that years have gone by and you realize that no matter what you do…they will not love you, they do not want you or what you want (or say you want), and yes, they have been using you.

So…you finally pull away and say you can’t do this anymore, that there is nothing left of your self esteem and you are tired of giving so much of yourself and receiving nothing in return….oh boy, look out….they WILL come back in full force (and this is not a good thing).  They will promise you the world…the stars…their soul…as long as you don’t leave them.   They love you, they will start respecting you more, they will spend more time with you, they realize how much they don’t want to live without you.  Amazing huh?  Wow, this is everything you ever wanted to hear –  you just wanted him to just realize how amazing you are and to see your value, to want you the way you want them.

You are ecstatic, and without any thought process you immediately take them back – with no boundaries in place, no making them prove themselves, no slow ease back into it..just as quickly as he came back after you, you go running back.

Ugh…MISTAKE!

Surprise, nothing has changed.  They were good for a little while, they showed you a little more attention, but ultimately they didn’t change.  Why?  Because people don’t change unless they want to and they can’t without doing the work.  They came running back to you because they just didn’t want to lose their security blanket (yes that is what you were).  You see, they fear abandonment as well.  So as much as they don’t want to commit to you, they don’t want to lose you either.  Its really all just a sad and lonely cycle of avoiding abandonment.

However, the good news is that eventually the cycle does end (if you are lucky) – leaving you exhausted, with them moving on to another person who is just like you (a door mat) –  leaving you in a heap on the floor.  You cry, wish for another day with them, begging God for them to love you, because if they did your life would be complete.  They are what makes life magical and worth living.

WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!

Newsflash!!

They are your mirror, its that simple.  You have played the emotional unavailability dance and its time for the music to stop.  Its time to figure out why you too are emotionally unavailable and more vested in chasing men who don’t want you vs. finding out why you don’t really want them either.

Thankfully it is possible to end this cycle forever, abandon this dance and move towards a healthy and balanced relationship with an emotionally available person but ONLY when YOU become emotionally available yourself.

My dear this isn’t just about them…this is about you too.

So here are some ways to start becoming emotionally available and start healing so you can seek and find a fabulous and stable relationship with someone who is available to you.


  1. Figure out your biggest fears!  What is holding you back? – whether its fear of getting hurt, abandonment (most likely), being vulnerable, fear of engulfment, giving up your own space, whatever it is…identify it.
  2. Once you have identified it, write about it in your journal! – where did this fear come from?  childhood? when did you first notice this fear?  write down every detail in your journal.  once its identified and “out there” its much easier to work towards a resolution.
  3. Finding a resolution – depending on what your fears and issues are you may need to seek a therapist, counselor or life coach to work towards resolving these issues.
  4. Let go of people who have hurt you in the past – understand that getting hurt is a part of life – painful experiences are what teach us our biggest lessons so we can grow and learn to heal those parts of us that are holding on.  let them go and yes, forgive.
  5. Think about your favorite people and write in your journal what you like about each and every one of them –  after you have done this, send each of them a text and let them know you are grateful for their presence in your life.
  6. Next, write down your favorite things about you – for some people this will be an easy exercise and for others this will be very difficult.  this exercise can help you identify how you view yourself – and as you know, how you see yourself is how others see you as well.  what you put out into the Universe is what is coming back to you – full circle.
  7. Let go of your emotional addictions (I call them void fillers) – the over eating, the smoking, too much drinking, drugs, social media, sex, porn etc.  these are not helping you in any way.  learn to sit with your feelings, with yourself and be comfortable with them.  this takes lots of practice, its uncomfortable and surely there will be a lot of tears and moments where you want to give up.  don’t.  learning to sit with your feelings is the biggest step to healing and best way to avoid starting a new cycle of emotional unavailability in another person – just to avoid feeling.
  8. Give your time, money, love and support to others who need it – there are so many people out there who are struggling.  it feels good to help people, in any way, whether its to volunteer, donate money or household items.  this is a great way to show gratitude for what you do have by giving to others that don’t have anything.
  9. Find yourself – you spent countless hours, months and even years catering to someone who didn’t see your value (this is because you don’t see your value).  spend less time trying to find a man or woman to fill your void and validate you and more time figuring  out who you are, what you want from life, and what makes you happy.  when you do this, you will figure out what type of person you should have in your life and no longer will you accept someone who is not right for you, let alone chase them to make them see how great you are.  you won’t need that.
  10. Love yourself – after you figure out who you are, treat yourself well.  treat yourself and love yourself the way you want to be treated and loved.  the saying really is true, how can someone love you and respect you if you don’t respect yourself.  they can’t and they won’t.  once you start loving yourself, it becomes a wonderful and  healthy addiction.  you won’t settle for less.  I promise.

Emotionally unavailability is an invisible shield meant to protect us from hurt.  The sad part is, it doesn’t protect us at all, it makes things worse.

Remove that invisible shield and start working on yourself today.  If you would like to work with a coach to help you on this new Journey of emotional availability, contact us today.

-A

Learning to live in the calm

I read a fantastic article the other day that really resonated with me.  The writer was referencing how a lot of us have a difficult time living in the calm, therefore we [subconsciously] create our own drama just so we feel something.

Sometimes, life can be too calm and in that calmness, for those of who have been living on high alert for many many years, waiting for other shoe to drop, walking on egg shells, waiting for someone to hurt us, walk out on us or cheat on us, that calm can feel very empty.  This is because the internal fight or flight response has been our only source of fuel.

Calm….feels…scary!  It represents the unknown, it feels weird and unsettling.  We sit…waiting for something to happen and when it doesn’t….we get confused and feel emptiness inside us, which is very confusing to our psyche.

It’s a sad realization when that feeling of empty washes over us.  We tell ourselves that we shouldn’t feel empty, we should feel at peace, but we don’t, not yet.  We will, but it takes time and lots of work on ourselves to allow ourselves to be at peace, to fill that emptiness with things that make us happy, to learn to soothe ourselves in that moment of peace that is so foreign to us.

We have spent too much time living in a chaotic and toxic environment under a big black cloud, and that became our norm.  We knew what to expect, we lived it daily….our norm was their anger, cycling of moods, cheating, discontentment, histrionics, alcohol abuse, temper tantrums, lies, secrecy and depression. Our sole job has been to try to manage this person and their moods while trying to succeed at our own lives….job, parenting, keeping the house, paying the bills and trying to keep everyone…happy.

Exhausting and fucking IMPOSSIBLE!

When we finally decided to leave and save ourselves from the madness that we thought we could handle, over time things finally became calm.  Our space becomes peaceful, there is no black cloud there to invade our space, no one rolling their eyes at us and cutting us down, no one angry at our kids just for existing, no one lying to our face while cheating on us behind your back, no one to take you down a notch..just for fun.  No one to blame us for their poor choices.  Its now just…calm.

Although this is amazing, it is also a complete mind fuck.  The peace and space leaves us  feeling empty.  We have no one to manage but ourselves and it is then that we realize how much energy that person stole from us.  Now we have to figure out what to do with all this free time we have now that this emotional vampire has finally moved on to someone else that they can suck the life out of.

So what should we do with this time?  Well….after the initial shock of realizing we have this time, after the confusion subsides, after the haze disappears….we should ENJOY THIS TIME!

Take a class, do yoga, read, rebuild your relationship with your friends, get a pet, start a blog, get involved in your community, join a meet up group, see a therapist, work with a life coach, but whatever we do….we need to enjoy this time of peace.

What we should NOT DO IS FIND ANOTHER SOUL SUCKING TICK.  That would be the easiest thing to do to fill this time we are not used to having, but its the most devastating thing we could do.

It is time to spend some time with ourselves, create a happy place in our homes, start a garden, go hiking, do whatever it takes to find ourselves!

In time, when we feel we know who we are and what we want, and when we are no longer in danger of finding another emotional vampire….only then can we go back out into the world of dating.

We will know when we are ready….and when we are not.

Until then, find you, love you, honor you and complete you…above all else.

Love, peace, light

 

Journey to Discovering Your Purpose

Your purpose in life can be as simple or as complicated as you require it to be.  You don’t need to aspire to be Beyonce or the Dahli Lama to have a meaningful life purpose.  The only thing you need it to do is fulfill yourself on all levels but mostly your soul level.

Your life’s purpose is solely specific to you.

Some people never figure out their life’s purpose and others think they figure it out and then realize that they were wrong.  I think when you figure it out, when you nail it, you feel it deep down in your soul…like “this is exactly what I was meant for”.

I also truly believe, and this is just me, that we have many different purposes as we cycle through life.  For instance I know one of my life’s purpose is to be a mother to these two boys of mine.  There is nothing in the world I am more proud of and that brings me as much joy as knowing they exist and that I brought them here.

But my purpose doesn’t stop there.

My secondary purpose, and I learned this through my biggest life lesson thus far, is my gift of empowering people (mostly women).  I am not an extreme feminist.  In fact I am quite traditional and believe in the institution of marriage (kind of) and I do believe in relationship “roles”, however, I know that a lot of women struggle with losing themselves in relationships and fall apart when they are not in one.  In addition, there are a lot of women that allow men to take away their spirit and breakdown their esteem to the point of extinction.  These women are fragile, confused, broken and traumatized – I know what this feels like because I was there.

My purpose is to help these women find themselves again.  To find happiness inside themselves and to stop allowing people to take away their peace.  I build them up and make them see their own beauty and help them find their own purpose in this beautiful life that really is so short.

So our purpose is often revealed during the hardest struggles of our lives.  That is why they say “there is beauty in the struggle” because there is.  This is why you must learn the lessons that the Universe wants to teach you, the first time, so you can feel and experience that beauty.

Your life purpose can be to travel, learn different cultures and pass the knowledge on to others through vices like blogging; or your purpose could be to work with animal rescues; or abused women helping them find safety; or to work with children in some capacity.  The options are truly endless.


Identifying your purpose is simple once you start putting a few things into practice:

  1.  Sit with yourself – get quiet – start asking yourself what your soul needs to feel accomplished in this lifetime
  2. Ask yourself, if you were to have a limited time on this earth (which we do) what would you want to do with that time
  3. Start journaling your passions, define them, see how you react as you start writing things down, do you get motivated and excited?

Once you have defined your purpose, start taking action, and once you do…the Universe follows suit and things start falling into place.

 

 

 

The Empowered Soul

What is the definition of “Empowerment”?


Empowerment Means:

  • The process of becoming stronger & more confident.
  • Gaining or claiming control of your life  and your rights.
  • Being more assertive and powerful in your personal and professional life.
  • Going after what you desire and feeling you deserve it.
  • Trusting your intuition to make good decisions.

What does it mean to be Empowered?


This is solely up to you.

Each person defines Empowerment differently as it pertains to their own goals and what they are looking to achieve.

I am requesting that you to dig deep here and ask yourself – “how do I want & what do I need to be Empowered?”

(personal exercise: what does empowerment mean to you? – please write this down in your journal – be descriptive – this is the first step in the empowerment process)


What Empowerment means, in the words of some beautiful women


  • Strength, wisdom, independence
  • Living in the now & being at peace with my complexities
  • Being my best self
  • The ability to take all of life’s challenges & rise just how we are
  • Feeling in control of your life
  • Being able to make decisions & have options
  • Self care and a loving relationship with yourself
  • Feeling free to be yourself without worrying about what someone else might think
  • Having the strength to recognize and travel my own path and not the path others would lay out for me
  • Supporting yourself, and those around you, to provide the confidence needed to voice feelings and take action
  • Having the confidence to say no or walk away from a toxic or unhealthy situation
  • Setting boundaries

How to become Empowered

Intuition


Below are a number of suggestions on how to Empower yourself to be more confident, self-assured, powerful and more importantly to trust your intuition.

There is no timeline on how long it takes to become empowered, but the key is to be consistent and to always be working on yourself!

Remember we are all a work in progress!

~Life is an endless process of self discovery~


Exercise, Oftenyoga-698114_1920


No more using the “I don’t have time” excuse.

Exercise changes our mindset and gives us more confidence (this is a top KeyStone habit) – for more information on Keystone habits visit my website at http://www.aveshaempower.com

Exercise comes in many forms, you do not have to join a gym to start an exercise routine.  Here are some examples of ways you can get exercise:

  1. Wake up early and walk your dog (or at night after work)
  2. Start a Yoga, Pilates or a BootCamp or interval training routine (at home or a local studio)
  3. Hop on that treadmill (yep, the one you don’t use)
  4. Walk with friends at lunch (organize a walking group)
  5. Take a hike – this is an amazing grounding or earthing exercise that can truly change your mindset as soon as you enter the forest
  6. Download an exercise app (there are plenty of them to choose from) – ask me and I will recommend a few

Find your inner “bitch”


Yup, I said it, be a bitch!

  1. Honor yourself
  2. Put yourself first (I promise this is not being selfish)
  3. Speak up for yourself and stand up for what you believe in
  4. Say NO whenever it is appropriate
  5. Do NOT tolerate behaviors that are not healthy for you!
  6. Let go of those that do not serve your greatest good

Enjoy being with YOURSELF


Notice I did not use the word, alone?

Why?  because you are not alone – unless of course you are living in isolation which I would guarantee you are not.

But in all seriousness you are not alone, you have yourself – and who is better than that?  No one!

Get comfy with who you are, enjoy your own company, spend time doing the things you enjoy doing and you will discover a lot about yourself by doing so.  Spend some time in nature…enjoy the peacefulness and the beauty of all that surrounds you.

(personal exercise:  Grab your journal and go for a hike, find a nice place to rest and write about how you feel.  Nature is very grounding!  Sit with your thoughts and then write about them)


Say NO and feel good about it!


Everyone, including you, has the right to say no.

So, if there is something you do not want to do or that you are not comfortable with – use your voice!

Say no, confidently, knowing you are honoring yourself.

**Disclaimer: make sure you say no in a non-offensive way…you don’t want to intentionally upset anyone.**

(personal exercise: Grab your journal and think of a scenario where you would like to say No but you don’t – write it down in your journal – how does it make you feel when you thinking of saying no?  write that down too)


Try new things!

Things


Seriously, try anything (within reason).

Make a list and check them off one by one (bucket lists).

Examples:

  1. Take a class (art, cooking, photography, pottery)
  2. Try making soap or jewelry
  3. Take up a sport or start exercising – daily
  4. Travel with someone or alone
  5. DIY projects (refinish furniture, paint something)
  6. SUP/Kayak, hiking, get out into nature
  7. Yoga
  8. Create a Meetup Group
  9. Go back to school and take classes

The list is endless really….start making your list right now (journal exercise)


Remove toxic people from your life!danger-3061159_1280


This is probably the most important thing you can do in your life to move forward (and the scariest and the hardest to do).

This includes:

  • Dramatic people
  • Negative people
  • People with opposite morals/values
  • Time and life suckers
  • Users
  • Addicts

Let them go.

If they do not bring you happiness and only cause you stress, anxiety or dread…its time to move on .  However, if you cannot remove them from your life, at least set boundaries with them.

(personal exercise:  Grab your journal and make a list of those you need to create boundaries with or to remove from your life altogether)


Know and accept your beauty,

inside and out!butterfly-3252893_1920


Self acceptance and self love is the most critical piece to our self worth!

How we feel about ourselves is how others perceive us.

Remember…the mirror?

Put it this way, if you don’t love you….and I mean all of you, who will?

Ok so your butt is big, your eyes are too small, you are too short or too tall, you could use a few pounds or could lose a few pounds – who cares, no one is perfect.  Never compare yourself to anyone!  You are unique.

(personal exercise:  Grab your journal and write down what makes you loveable? start a list in your journal of at least 7 or more of your most amazing qualities and add to it over time)


Define YOUR own success!


Remember success is specific to you and your unique goals!

Let’s set some obtainable goals BIG & small so you can figure out with your life coach or by yourself how you will reach these goals (i.e. relationship, weight loss, new job, life balance, work, no work, buying a house, raising kids, cars, vacations, school, etc.)

Set time lines (we all do better when we know what is expected of us and some of us work better when we are under pressure).

(personal exercise:  Grab your journal and start making a list of obtainable goals and add to it over time)


LOVE& Respect Yourself!

Madly & Unconditionallyheart-3280747_1920


  • Set a daily routine
  • Sleep at least 7 hours
  • Eat Healthy & Amazing Foods (work with your coach on this)
  • Exercise regularly (*yoga, walking, hiking*)
  • Meditate daily (download the Simple Habit app for guided meditation)
  • Get a massage or Energy Healing
  • Spend time with nature (hike, go to the park)
  • Read a good book or two/LESS SCREEN TIME AND GET OFF FACEBOOK
  • Spend time with healthy people
  • Journal
  • Set KeyStone Habits

(personal exercise:  Grab your journal and write down ways you can love yourself more)


Monitor your thoughts, often!


Be conscious of the stories you are telling yourself (do not let your “stories” be defined by anything but your Higher Self)

Let go of the past and create a new story (not just a chapter)!  Remember, your past does not define you.

Keep your thoughts positive & motivating (do not ruminate about the past)

(tip:  choose to have daily mantras sent to you (there are plenty of apps to choose from, pick one that works best for you)

(personal exercise:  Grab your journal write down the thoughts that keep swirling in your mind which are keeping you from being mindful)

  ~The mind is everything, what you think you become~


Conclusion


Making significant changes in your life and healing from any sort of trauma or bad experiences takes time and Empowering yourself takes lots of work and energy to keep going.

There will be times you want to give up, you won’t see your progress (although others do) and you may even feel its not worth it.  Do not stop, ever, by all means, have a down “poor me” day, eat ice cream, wallow in sadness but do not give up.

Wake up the next morning….get on your yoga mat, take a walk, make a smoothie, sing in the shower, do whatever you have to do to motivate and keep going but do NOT give up.

This workshop was created to Empower you to be your Best and Highest Self.  I have done the work, I know how hard it is, but once you get to the other side, you will see that its worth it.

Love and Healing Always,

Namaste

Contact us at Avesha if you like us to join you on your new Empowerment Journey!

Ways to Honor Yourself

I am a self-proclaimed expert in the art of self-love and self-care.  I have gone from abusing myself in many ways to falling madly in love with myself on so many levels.

Self-love is such a personal thing that it is almost impossible for me to tell someone exactly how to love themselves, however, I feel I am educated enough on the topic to be able to make suggestions on where to start when someone is first entering their Journey into self-love and self-care.

Routines are very important because consistency is the key to any successful change.  It takes 21-26 days for a routine to become a habit.  In the beginning you will have to remind yourself that its important to do xyz… however, over time, it will just be a natural part of your day and one that you will look forward to.

For instance, I used to fear mornings…I would wake up with so many thoughts circling around in my head.  I would instantly feel alone and anxious.  So, when I started on my Journey to healing the first thing I created was a morning routine.  I created a beautiful and peaceful morning routine that eased my anxiety, soothed my soul and prepared me for the day ahead.  This routine is so amazing that I actually look forward to my mornings now, for the first time in my life.

So I speak from experience when I provide suggestions and ideas that may help you.


Below are ways you can honor yourself each and every day:

  1. Respect your body – there are so many levels of this topic that I would love to address but will focus on this one area – your body is yours and not to be given to anyone who doesn’t honor you.  Respect yourself and others will follow suit.
  2. Honor where you are at – wherever you are in life, know that you are exactly where you need to be at that moment.  Know that nothing stays the same forever, we have free will and the ability to create change and suffering doesn’t last.
  3. Feel your feelings – whatever they are…feel them.  Anxious, sad, mad, happy, elated, excited, nervous.  Sit with them and feel them.  Let them guide you.  If you are unhappy or anxious do not stuff them or hide them, they will resurface with a vengeance.  Feel them, and then let them go.
  4. Treat yourself – what do you enjoy?  a coffee at the cafe, massages, dinner with friends, a weekend retreat, yoga a few times a week, facials, hot baths?  what is your thing?  whatever it is…do it.
  5. Forgive yourself – we are human and make mistakes, lots of them!   Forgive yourself for those you have hurt, for the bad choices you made, for the hurt you caused yourself, acknowledge these things and forgive yourself.  Then let it go.
  6. Tell yourself how amazing you are – because you are smart, kind, loving, sweet, beautiful, hard working and so many other things.  Tell yourself.  Don’t wait for someone else to validate you, validate yourself.
  7. Celebrate your wins – there is always a win, even if all you did was get out of bed, get your kids off to school, make it to work on time, those are wins!
  8. Support yourself through losses – you will have down days, things that didn’t go as planned, someone will hurt you or you will hurt someone.  Support yourself through those moments.
  9. Relax and rest your soul – take some time for you and only you. Give yourself a much needed time out.  Read a book, take a bath, walk in the park, get a pedicure, go to the gym, roll out the mat and do some yoga.  Whatever it is that fills your soul, do it.
  10. Find quiet time – create a “quiet zone” at home, decorate that space and deem it yours.  Use that space for your quiet time, no screens (TV, iPhone, iPad, etc.).  Close your eyes, meditate, listen to music, read.
  11. Exercise – this topic is in every single blog I write and I will beat it to death. Our bodies need movement.  Find what you enjoy and can commit to and move your body.  Walking, hiking, yoga, Pilates, Barre, HIIT, boot camp, etc.  Get on that treadmill, go to the park, do yoga at home or a studio, download a boot camp app.  Just commit to at least 3x a week of movement.
  12. Do things you love – are you creative – start by doing some DIY projects, enjoy time with people – join or start a MeetUp group, want to learn something new – take a class.  The sky is the limit.
  13. Put yourself first – it is not selfish!
  14. Set goalsgoal setting is very empowering and keeps us on task.  It also helps us manifest the things we desire.
  15. Seek solace in nature – nature is very grounding and provides us with a direct connection to earth. Spending time in nature, either on the beach, in the woods, planting in your garden can help ease anxiety and ground us back to a healthy place.
  16. Feed your body nourishing foods – you are what you eat, enough said!

I hope you can identify with a number of these suggestions.

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~joy~love~light~

-Avesha