The Empowered Soul

Apr 7, 2018

What is the definition of “Empowerment”?

Empowerment Means:

The process of becoming stronger & more confident.
Gaining or claiming control of your life and your rights.
Being more assertive and powerful in your personal and professional life.
Going after what you desire and feeling you deserve it.
Trusting your intuition to make good decisions.

What does it mean to be Empowered?

This is solely up to you.

Each person defines Empowerment differently as it pertains to their own goals and what they are looking to achieve.

I am requesting that you to dig deep here and ask yourself – “how do I want & what do I need to be Empowered?”

(personal exercise: what does empowerment mean to you? – please write this down in your journal – be descriptive – this is the first step in the empowerment process)

What Empowerment means, in the words of some beautiful women

Strength, wisdom, independence
Living in the now & being at peace with my complexities
Being my best self
The ability to take all of life’s challenges & rise just how we are
Feeling in control of your life
Being able to make decisions & have options
Self care and a loving relationship with yourself
Feeling free to be yourself without worrying about what someone else might think
Having the strength to recognize and travel my own path and not the path others would lay out for me
Supporting yourself, and those around you, to provide the confidence needed to voice feelings and take action
Having the confidence to say no or walk away from a toxic or unhealthy situation
Setting boundaries

How to become Empowered

Below are a number of suggestions on how to Empower yourself to be more confident, self-assured, powerful and more importantly to trust your intuition.

There is no timeline on how long it takes to become empowered, but the key is to be consistent and to always be working on yourself!

Remember we are all a work in progress!

~Life is an endless process of self discovery~

Exercise, Often

No more using the “I don’t have time” excuse.

Exercise changes our mindset and gives us more confidence (this is a top KeyStone habit) – for more information on Keystone habits visit my website at http://www.aveshaempower.com

Exercise comes in many forms, you do not have to join a gym to start an exercise routine. Here are some examples of ways you can get exercise:

Wake up early and walk your dog (or at night after work)
Start a Yoga, Pilates or a BootCamp or interval training routine (at home or a local studio)
Hop on that treadmill (yep, the one you don’t use)
Walk with friends at lunch (organize a walking group)
Take a hike – this is an amazing grounding or earthing exercise that can truly change your mindset as soon as you enter the forest
Download an exercise app (there are plenty of them to choose from) – ask me and I will recommend a few

Find your inner “bitch”

Yup, I said it, be a bitch!

Honor yourself
Put yourself first (I promise this is not being selfish)
Speak up for yourself and stand up for what you believe in
Say NO whenever it is appropriate
Do NOT tolerate behaviors that are not healthy for you!
Let go of those that do not serve your greatest good

Enjoy being with YOURSELF

Notice I did not use the word, alone?

Why? because you are not alone – unless of course you are living in isolation which I would guarantee you are not.

But in all seriousness you are not alone, you have yourself – and who is better than that? No one!

Get comfy with who you are, enjoy your own company, spend time doing the things you enjoy doing and you will discover a lot about yourself by doing so. Spend some time in nature…enjoy the peacefulness and the beauty of all that surrounds you.

(personal exercise: Grab your journal and go for a hike, find a nice place to rest and write about how you feel. Nature is very grounding! Sit with your thoughts and then write about them)

Say NO and feel good about it!

Everyone, including you, has the right to say no.

So, if there is something you do not want to do or that you are not comfortable with – use your voice!

Say no, confidently, knowing you are honoring yourself.

**Disclaimer: make sure you say no in a non-offensive way…you don’t want to intentionally upset anyone.**

(personal exercise: Grab your journal and think of a scenario where you would like to say No but you don’t – write it down in your journal – how does it make you feel when you thinking of saying no? write that down too)

Try new things!

Seriously, try anything (within reason).

Make a list and check them off one by one (bucket lists).

Examples:

Take a class (art, cooking, photography, pottery)
Try making soap or jewelry
Take up a sport or start exercising – daily
Travel with someone or alone
DIY projects (refinish furniture, paint something)
SUP/Kayak, hiking, get out into nature
Yoga
Create a Meetup Group
Go back to school and take classes

The list is endless really….start making your list right now (journal exercise)

Remove toxic people from your life!

This is probably the most important thing you can do in your life to move forward (and the scariest and the hardest to do).

This includes:

Dramatic people
Negative people
People with opposite morals/values
Time and life suckers
Users
Addicts

Let them go.

If they do not bring you happiness and only cause you stress, anxiety or dread…its time to move on . However, if you cannot remove them from your life, at least set boundaries with them.

(personal exercise: Grab your journal and make a list of those you need to create boundaries with or to remove from your life altogether)

Know and accept your beauty,

inside and out!

Self acceptance and self love is the most critical piece to our self worth!

How we feel about ourselves is how others perceive us.

Remember…the mirror?

Put it this way, if you don’t love you….and I mean all of you, who will?

Ok so your butt is big, your eyes are too small, you are too short or too tall, you could use a few pounds or could lose a few pounds – who cares, no one is perfect. Never compare yourself to anyone! You are unique.

(personal exercise: Grab your journal and write down what makes you loveable? start a list in your journal of at least 7 or more of your most amazing qualities and add to it over time)

Define YOUR own success!

Remember success is specific to you and your unique goals!

Let’s set some obtainable goals BIG & small so you can figure out with your life coach or by yourself how you will reach these goals (i.e. relationship, weight loss, new job, life balance, work, no work, buying a house, raising kids, cars, vacations, school, etc.)

Set time lines (we all do better when we know what is expected of us and some of us work better when we are under pressure).

(personal exercise: Grab your journal and start making a list of obtainable goals and add to it over time)

LOVE& Respect Yourself!

Madly & Unconditionally

Set a daily routine
Sleep at least 7 hours
Eat Healthy & Amazing Foods (work with your coach on this)
Exercise regularly (*yoga, walking, hiking*)
Meditate daily (download the Simple Habit app for guided meditation)
Get a massage or Energy Healing
Spend time with nature (hike, go to the park)
Read a good book or two/LESS SCREEN TIME AND GET OFF FACEBOOK
Spend time with healthy people
Journal
Set KeyStone Habits

(personal exercise: Grab your journal and write down ways you can love yourself more)

Monitor your thoughts, often!

Be conscious of the stories you are telling yourself (do not let your “stories” be defined by anything but your Higher Self)

Let go of the past and create a new story (not just a chapter)! Remember, your past does not define you.

Keep your thoughts positive & motivating (do not ruminate about the past)

(tip: choose to have daily mantras sent to you (there are plenty of apps to choose from, pick one that works best for you)

(personal exercise: Grab your journal write down the thoughts that keep swirling in your mind which are keeping you from being mindful)

~The mind is everything, what you think you become~

Conclusion

Making significant changes in your life and healing from any sort of trauma or bad experiences takes time and Empowering yourself takes lots of work and energy to keep going.

There will be times you want to give up, you won’t see your progress (although others do) and you may even feel its not worth it. Do not stop, ever, by all means, have a down “poor me” day, eat ice cream, wallow in sadness but do not give up.

Wake up the next morning….get on your yoga mat, take a walk, make a smoothie, sing in the shower, do whatever you have to do to motivate and keep going but do NOT give up.

This workshop was created to Empower you to be your Best and Highest Self. I have done the work, I know how hard it is, but once you get to the other side, you will see that its worth it.

Love and Healing Always,

Namaste

Ways to Honor Yourself

Mar 26, 2018

I am a self-proclaimed expert in the art of self-love and self-care. I have gone from abusing myself in many ways to falling madly in love with myself on so many levels.

Self-love is such a personal thing that it is almost impossible for me to tell someone exactly how to love themselves, however, I feel I am educated enough on the topic to be able to make suggestions on where to start when someone is first entering their Journey into self-love and self-care.

Routines are very important because consistency is the key to any successful change. It takes 21-26 days for a routine to become a habit. In the beginning you will have to remind yourself that its important to do xyz… however, over time, it will just be a natural part of your day and one that you will look forward to.

For instance, I used to fear mornings…I would wake up with so many thoughts circling around in my head. I would instantly feel alone and anxious. So, when I started on my Journey to healing the first thing I created was a morning routine. I created a beautiful and peaceful morning routine that eased my anxiety, soothed my soul and prepared me for the day ahead. This routine is so amazing that I actually look forward to my mornings now, for the first time in my life.

So I speak from experience when I provide suggestions and ideas that may help you.

Below are ways you can honor yourself each and every day:

Respect your body – there are so many levels of this topic that I would love to address but will focus on this one area – your body is yours and not to be given to anyone who doesn’t honor you. Respect yourself and others will follow suit.
Honor where you are at – wherever you are in life, know that you are exactly where you need to be at that moment. Know that nothing stays the same forever, we have free will and the ability to create change and suffering doesn’t last.
Feel your feelings – whatever they are…feel them. Anxious, sad, mad, happy, elated, excited, nervous. Sit with them and feel them. Let them guide you. If you are unhappy or anxious do not stuff them or hide them, they will resurface with a vengeance. Feel them, and then let them go.
Treat yourself – what do you enjoy? a coffee at the cafe, massages, dinner with friends, a weekend retreat, yoga a few times a week, facials, hot baths? what is your thing? whatever it is…do it.
Forgive yourself – we are human and make mistakes, lots of them! Forgive yourself for those you have hurt, for the bad choices you made, for the hurt you caused yourself, acknowledge these things and forgive yourself. Then let it go.
Tell yourself how amazing you are – because you are smart, kind, loving, sweet, beautiful, hard working and so many other things. Tell yourself. Don’t wait for someone else to validate you, validate yourself.
Celebrate your wins – there is always a win, even if all you did was get out of bed, get your kids off to school, make it to work on time, those are wins!
Support yourself through losses – you will have down days, things that didn’t go as planned, someone will hurt you or you will hurt someone. Support yourself through those moments.
Relax and rest your soul – take some time for you and only you. Give yourself a much needed time out. Read a book, take a bath, walk in the park, get a pedicure, go to the gym, roll out the mat and do some yoga. Whatever it is that fills your soul, do it.
Find quiet time – create a “quiet zone” at home, decorate that space and deem it yours. Use that space for your quiet time, no screens (TV, iPhone, iPad, etc.). Close your eyes, meditate, listen to music, read.
Exercise – this topic is in every single blog I write and I will beat it to death. Our bodies need movement. Find what you enjoy and can commit to and move your body. Walking, hiking, yoga, Pilates, Barre, HIIT, boot camp, etc. Get on that treadmill, go to the park, do yoga at home or a studio, download a boot camp app. Just commit to at least 3x a week of movement.
Do things you love – are you creative – start by doing some DIY projects, enjoy time with people – join or start a MeetUp group, want to learn something new – take a class. The sky is the limit.
Put yourself first – it is not selfish!
Set goals – goal setting is very empowering and keeps us on task. It also helps us manifest the things we desire.
Seek solace in nature – nature is very grounding and provides us with a direct connection to earth. Spending time in nature, either on the beach, in the woods, planting in your garden can help ease anxiety and ground us back to a healthy place.
Feed your body nourishing foods – you are what you eat, enough said!

I hope you can identify with a number of these suggestions.

~joy~love~light~

-Avesha

Things I wish I did years ago…

Mar 18, 2018

But I am putting them into practice now! So, better late than not at all.

I could share a long story about why these are critical exercises but I don’t feel that is necessary. We all have our story and my hope here is to provide guidance to those who need it.

So here we go….

Embrace the difficult – there is power in the pain, strength in the struggle and knowledge you receive from lessons you are meant to learn. My advice: learn your lessons the first time and there will be less struggle. Struggle = success, strength & progress
Exercise Daily! – if you have been following me or have read any of my blogs you know I believe that exercise is the end all be all to happiness or at least the start of it. I believe the Journey to happiness starts with giving your body the movement that it needs to release the essential endorphins and get the happiness flowing inside you. We were NOT made to be sedentary. Get moving, start exercising TODAY! Take a walk, get on your treadmill, do some yoga, go to the gym. Whatever you fancy…do it.
Be Grateful – for every single aspect of your life. Even the struggle. Wake up and be grateful you are alive, for your hot cup of coffee, for sunlight, a job that pays you, friends that you spend time with. There is ALWAYS something to be grateful for. Gratitude = manifesting more things to be grateful for
Enjoy the simplicity of life – wake up with the sunrise, take a walk in nature, read to your kids, cook a nice meal, make a hot cup of coffee or tea and sit on the deck and just listen to the birds, play in your garden, read a good book, take a walk at sunset and thank the Universe for another day. It is the simplicity of life that brings us the most happiness, believe it or not.
Keep a Journal or two – I have multiple journals…one for my thoughts, one for my goals, a small one that I carry around with me where I jot down ideas, stories or things I simply want to try. Journaling is a fabulous way to release the ruminating thoughts that take over your brain. It is also one of the top Keystone Habits (after exercise). I journal every morning as part of my morning ritual.
Complain less and appreciate more – if things are hard and you are at your end, instead of complaining, which solves nothing, find solutions. Make small changes (baby steps), start implementing Keystone Habits, you must do something OR accept what is. Complaining = negative energy
Don’t settle for less than you deserve – if you are not ready for a relationship, do not start one. If you are dating and you know the person isn’t right for you…let them go. Learn how to be with yourself. Figure out what you want in a person and don’t settle for anything less. You know what you want, and what you are worth so why settle for anything less? Settling = cheating yourself out of something amazing
Do not judge others – this was and is still a huge lesson for me. It’s very easy for us to make a judgment based off an encounter with someone. However, we don’t know their life story and have no idea what their struggle is. So we make a judgment about them that is completely unfair. You do not know where a person has been or what they are going through, so be kind and accept them for who they are and where they are at that moment.
Be kind for no reason – smile at the cashier at Target, maybe she doesn’t smile back or even know why you’re smiling, it doesn’t matter. Say “good morning” to people as you walk down the street to your office. Compliment someone’s shoes, hair or hat. Hold the door or elevator. Do something nice for someone, you have no idea what a person is going through and you might just make their day.
De-Clutter and simplify – you have read this before, but its true…get rid of clutter, remove all items you no longer use. If you haven’t touched it in three years and is not a family heirloom and it doesn’t hold sweet memories..toss it! Downsize, live within your means and surround yourself with things that bring out the best in you.
Practice patience – this is another practice I am working on and I admit I am not very good at but it is something I practice daily. Patience is a skill that we are not born with, it needs to be developed. For those of us fire signs 🙂 we tend to have less patience and more energy than most people. There are those with a more laid back approach to life whereas patience comes a little easier than those of us who take a more aggressive approach to life. However, patience can be taught, learned and implemented. It is critical to our success to have patience and trust that the Universe knows exactly what we need and when we need it.
Letting go of the past – I have said it before and I will say it again, the past does not define us and it has no place in our present and our future. If you have learned your lessons and are on the right path you will no longer need to revisit the past, it has nothing to offer you. You can remember good moments, but don’t focus on them so much that you are not mindful of the present and especially the now, because this moment really is all any of us have. So “be here now” should be your mantra…if you find your mind wandering to a memory of the past…honor it and say to yourself “be here now” and move on and focus on that moment, as best you can. Letting go of the past and being mindful is hard and takes work but your brain can be re-trained to not wander off to the past and get stuck there. Remember…be here now.
Love yourself – madly and unconditionally. This is a hard concept for some, I know it was for me. I didn’t understand it until I started a self-love/self-care ritual and I learned how magical it is to put yourself first and to fall madly in love with yourself. I have written several articles which have been published in Elephant Journal Magazine (love this magazine) about self-love and taking care of yourself and how to ease anxiety. Read them at your leisure 🙂

https://www.elephantjournal.com/now/5-simple-grounding-exercises-to-ease-anxiety-the-stress-of-daily-life/ and

https://www.elephantjournal.com/now/how-to-practice-self-love-daily/

I pray a number of these exercises resonate with you. You don’t need to identify with all of them, but you should find the ones that do resonate with you and put them into practice.

Just do the best you can to be your best self every day and you will start seeing changes and start feeling better about yourself and the choices you are making.

If you would like to work together to focus on these, please contact us.

Namaste

Grounding exercises to ease anxiety and the stress of daily life

Mar 6, 2018

Read this article in the Elephant Journal Magazine by clicking here: Grounding/Earthing

Life is busy.

Let’s face it, managing home, work, and family obligations is overwhelming and feels endless. We tirelessly manage to get through the day by ticking the boxes of our “to do” list until we eventually crawl into bed only to do it all over again the next day.

This type of lifestyle can cause us a tremendous amount of anxiety and stress. Our bodies are constantly in a state of fight or flight and we are maxing out our adrenal glands. This type of stress not only causes anxiety but insomnia, weight gain, heart issues and high blood pressure.

How do we handle this? My suggestion..in addition to self care techniques that you can find in my previous blogs (ex. How to practice self love daily) you need to implement a grounding or earthing practice to your daily routine.

Grounding is a technique that brings people back to the the present moment when they are in the midst of chaos. Grounding skills can be helpful with managing feelings of intense anxiety and can help people regain their mental focus after a traumatic event or anxiety induced state.

There are many proven ways to ground yourself. If you are in the midst of an anxiety attack and need to get “grounded” you can start by counting backwards either in your mind or out loud, this is actually a mental distraction and therefore takes the focus off the anxiety. Another wonderful and successful technique is to look around the room and name what you see “lamp, table, picture of my kids, 5 pens in a pencil holder, painting with a horse and a tree…whatever it is you see, call it out. This helps ground you into the present moment.

Some grounding techniques are actually referred to as “earthing” and like the name suggests, you literally become one with the earth by putting your body in direct and uninterrupted contact with the earth. This exercise requires that your skin touch the soil, sand, water, or a conductive surface that is in contact with the earth.

This can be mean dipping your toes in the sand at the beach, walking in nature, going for a hike deep in the forest, swimming in a lake or the ocean, planting seeds or replanting flowers and digging in the dirt or just walking through the grass barefoot. Earthing has a tremendous amount of health benefits, too many to mention in this article so I empower you to google “earthing” and “grounding”.

I have compiled a list below of my favorite grounding activities (more than one involves earthing):

Walking or hiking – walking is the simplest and most effective way to reduce anxiety. Walking at an even pace has a very calming effect. It can evoke mindfulness, clear your head of rapidly cycling thoughts and release stress. When walking (or hiking) in nature you will feel more relaxed and open during the walk. You can also take it one step further and meditate while you walk. Walks on the beach are amazingly therapeutic as well. The salt air and calming sound of the ocean is very grounding.
Yoga – specifically Hatha Yoga which is the simplest form of Asana’s (yoga postures) and pranayama (breathing techniques). Yoga is the soul practice of the body, mind and your spirit and brings you to a state of mindfulness. This technique can be done at home, for as practice as short or as long as you desire. I recommend at least 15 minutes for a session length although 30 is ideal.
Gardening – nothing connects you to the earth more than gardening. This is a fantastic example of earthing as your hands are completely immersed in the soil. Such a peaceful and mindful art and one that has so many benefits.
Journaling – keeps you in a state of mindfulness by helping to remove negative thoughts as well as organize those distracting racing thoughts. Getting your thoughts and ideas down on paper will help you clear your mind and enable you to to get to a peaceful state quickly. Organizing your thoughts also helps you to set and ultimately obtain goals in a more efficient way.
Arts/Crafts/Creativity – being creative by using your imagination and putting ideas into action is a very grounding activity that also has a beneficial and tangible outcome.

Whatever practice you choose, immerse yourself in it. Bask in the moment of the activity and when you find your mind start to drift and your thoughts beginning to wander…bring yourself back to the moment. Feel the earth as you put your hands in the dirt, walk across the grass or stick your toes in the sand. To ground yourself even further, describe out loud how it feels. Describing it makes it feel real.

I love walking barefoot in the grass on a chilly summer morning after it has rained and the grass is wet with dew. The feeling is magical and reminds me of childhood. Remember being a child and running through the sprinkler? Wasn’t that magical?

Even as adults we can create magical moments that make us feel like children again. The wonderment, the joy and the peace we felt when we were riding our bikes and the wind blew through our hair, or doing summer-salts on a warm summer day with the sun beaming down on us. How about that moment when you take that first lick of an ice cream cone.

Those moments are priceless.

We can have those now, as adults, we just have to create them. We live in a world of chaos and instant gratification. It is our commitment to ourselves to take a step back and slow things down so we can enjoy every single moment, because right now is all we have.

So I empower you to try at least one of these amazing techniques to help ground you and live in each moment as it comes. It isn’t easy, but over time, it will become easier.

Namaste’

Peace…love…health…always!

As always, if you are ready to embark on your new Journey of self care, self love, and mindfulness Contact Us

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Avesha – Spiritual & Life Coaching

Focusing on Physical and Mental Balance

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