Tag Archives: emotional abuse

Steps to Clearing Emotional Pain

When you are in a place of healing and know that you have hit a wall, you have worked with a therapist and / or life coach to identify the causes of the issues you are experiencing, you have journaled, meditated and created a self care routine but you still feel like you are stuck … it is time for some emotional clearing.

Emotional Clearing is the practice of bringing awareness to our mental and emotional compulsions and reactions in order to “heal” them or integrate them. The end state of doing this work is Wholeness which is actually a step beyond enlightenment.

For these unresolved emotions to clear, they needs to pass through you. When these past emotions and feelings reemerge, they may lead to sadness, anger, fear, anxiety or depression. If you are feeling these emotions after or while going through an emotional clearing treatment, please rest assured that these feelings are completely normal. Do not try to avoid these feelings or shame yourself for feeling them. The most important thing to do during a healing process is to just let the emotions be. Just sit with the feelings and let them exist.

Please be thoughtful and patient with yourself, these emotions have been trapped and repressed in your subconscious for a long time. They most like stem from your childhood or early adolescence. We know that most people do not leave childhood unscathed. Even if you tell yourself you had a great childhood. There may have been something that affected you in a way where you repressed those emotions so you would not feel them. By pushing away feelings this could lead to emotions and negative feelings being trapped for many years. In extreme cases, these emotions developed into chronic physical symptoms without the bearer knowing it such as anxiety, depression, addiction, compulsion, chronic illness, etc.

It is important to remember we only have this one life and it is a gift. Even if things are hard and you feel you are in a constant emotional struggle, life is a precious gift and we only get one shot at it. We all have the opportunity to live a happy life with purpose. There is so much help and knowledge out there. Things are so different now then in the past. We have so many healing modalities right at our fingertips. Therefore I encourage you to start your healing today.

Emotional clearing is usually successful after a number of “sessions” or “treatments”. Most of these can be done in the privacy of your own home and others should be done by a certified “healing specialist”.

  • Start a yoga practice – yoga can be done at home or at a studio. it is a very versatile practice with so many benefits for our mind body and our spirit (there are specific emotional clearing poses that you should adopt into your yoga practice such as Goddess Pose, Pigeon Pose,Child’s Pose, Downward Dog, Malasana Squat, Legs up a wall or Waterfall Pose, etc.). If you would like to create your own yoga emotional clearing practice from home I encourage you to go to google and search articles about yoga for emotional clearing.
  • Meditation – clearing the mind is just as important as clearing the body. Its important to let go of old data that has lived inside your mind and has misguided you in the wrong direction. Its time to let go of any old thoughts and feelings, especially negative ones and replace them with good and positive thoughts. This can be done in any quiet space in your home. Designate a sacred space where you spend time with yourself.
  • Energy healing massage and / IET or Reiki – it works. This is where you need a licenses healer. I encourage you to research healers in your area.
  • Change your self talk and perspective immediately – this takes a good amount of time because you are basically reprogramming how you think act and speak about yourself. You have spent a lifetime thinking and acting a specific way and now I am asking you to completely change that. This can be done, but it takes time, commitment and dedication to the outcome.

The outcome once you put this practice into place is overwhelming in a good way. The results can be mind blowing. I can say this with pure confidence because I speak from experience. I put this practice into place and it virtually changed every aspect of my life. I once used to walk around with a pit in my stomach (total anxiety), a sleeping disorder, a basic negative outlook on life in general, with shallow friendships, bad/toxic/dangerous relationships with men and a very low sense of self worth.

Today, I am thrilled to say with a mixture of therapy, life coaching, spiritual coaching, yoga, meditation, a HUGE dose of self love and self care and true emotional clearing – I am the best person I can possibly be and each drive I thrive to be that much better. I am happy, calm, I no longer have that pit in my stomach. My friendships are deeper, my love relationship is amazing, my general outlook on life is extremely positive and I LOVE MYSELF!!

I continue to do a self care routine every single day and I treat myself the way I expect others to treat me. I do not allow negativity or drama in my sacred space and I have high expectations of those in my life. Yes, the occasional trigger happens, but I have the tools to work through the feelings and move forward.

There is hope, I promise and I am here to help you if you decide you are ready to take the next step.

Emotional Clearing is a necessary and critical last step to complete healing.

I hope this is helpful to you!

-A

The Mirror

Did you know that the people you surround yourself with are reflections of certain parts of yourself (ironically they are usually the parts you don’t quite like).

These people are your “mirror”.

What does this mean?

Quite simply, we attract what we are (or ourselves). Ever notice something irritating or infuriating about someone…could be your child, friend or your spouse?  Well, most likely you see something in them that you don’t like about yourself. They have a quality that you recognize and focus on that is something you wish to change about you.

Interesting concept huh?

There are those of us who are subconsciously reliving our youth traumas which contribute to our fears, anxieties, drama’s etc.  We are attracting those people, by our own design, so that they reflect the same dysfunctions in us by bringing them to the surface.  It’s like looking in the mirror and not liking what we see (emotionally).

As yourself these questions:

  1. Do you attract emotionally unavailable partners that are non-committal in relationships?
  2. Do you constantly focus on the relationships you can’t have without exploring why you are not attracting men/women who ARE available?
  3. Are you attracted to married women/men?
  4. Do you attract men/women who need “fixing”?
  5. Are you a magnet for negative people and gossip?
  6. Do you continuously have drama and dysfunction in your life?

If any of these scenario’s sounds familiar you need to explore deeply and ask yourself:

  1.  Am I emotionally available and able to commit to a healthy relationship?
  2.  Are there parts of me that need fixing that I am avoiding (old wounds) which is why I focus on him/her vs. myself?
  3.  Am I subconsciously working through childhood trauma (i.e. abandonment) by chasing unavailable partners?
  4.  Am I trying to protect myself therefor I attract which that which I cannot have?
  5. Am I part of the problem?
  6. Do I attract drama because of my own negativity? (drama can’t live unless you feed it)

Simply put, if you want to attract healthy people into your life.  If you desire healthy friendships and relationships (i.e. lovers, family, co-workers, etc.) then you yourself need to be healthy.

Remember people will treat you how you allow them to. This is usually a direct reflection of how you feel about and treat yourself. When you value yourself and love yourself there is no way you would let someone treat you bad or disrespect you.

If you take the time to work on yourself (self love/care) not only will you feel AMAZING but you will attract healthier people into your life and have deeper more meaningful relationships.

Start today with focusing on yourself..look in your own mirror and decide what part of you is attracting toxic people.

Remember, people will always show you who they are – believe them the first time.

Namaste

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