The tapestry of life

Life is this intricate tapestry filled with many different patterns that ultimately take their own unique twists and turns to create the design, as you follow the tapestries threads from the back they look jumbled..tied together and knotted with no real purpose.  However, when you turn the tapestry over, you see exactly what each thread was meant for, the tapestry is telling a story through its design.

Just like a tapestry, life has its unique thread pattern (the Journey) and we aren’t always sure why our Journey takes those crazy and unexpected turns nor are we always prepared for them but somehow we end up adjusting to them as we navigated through life.   Some of these experiences are good, some bad, some straight up hellish, most are eventful and useful, and a majority are not worthy of noting.  Rest assured, there is always a reason for them.  This is the beauty of our Journey, the tapestry of life.

My life has not been a fairy tale story by any means, it has been crazy in more ways than I can ever share.  I can honestly say there were times when I questioned my sanity as well as my decision making and I often wonder how I survived a lot of my experiences.  There are moments where I look back and think, wow, I could have died or why I wasn’t scared?  Hence my deep dive into Spirituality and Buddhism.  I truly believe I belong here and am slowly learning my purpose.

In any event, I was fearless and restless..desperately wanting to experience life (and fear).  I would hop on a train and travel 28 hours away knowing no one was there to get me when I got off the train and having no real plan once the train stopped.  When I met my first husband, I knew him three weeks and moved to Florida with him, without a second thought.  We lived in an all male dorm (he snuck me in), I shared a bathroom with 20+ men from all over the world (so gross) and barely knew my boyfriend.  However as I look back and think…what was I thinking, my next thought is….I am so grateful for that amazing experience.  I have many stories like this…being fearless and restless can put you in some unique situations.

Today, I am 45 and am fearful.  I know too much now.  I respect my life in a much different way than I did before.  Maybe maturity changes us because but I am much more thoughtful when making life choices as I understand that I have much to lose by making bad decisions.  I understand the concept of consequences.

It is now that I look back and think without these stories….what do we have?  Without the crazy “I survived ______” stories or the dreadful dating stories, and the stories of the tough years and financial comebacks, what do we tell when we get older?  However, I have now entered the second half of my life and although I want to create more good stories, I want them to be healthier ones.

I always say…when I am sitting in the nursing home reciting tales of my crazy life I will have some pretty incredible stories to tell.  Stories of love and loss, recklessness, bad choices, great choices, good and bad moments, the people the experiences, even the smells and the sounds….this is really all we have, isn’t it?

So when you go on that bad date or you experience a crazy situation or hurdle through a tough time or significant loss know that this is all part of your story!  Not only are you supposed to learn a lesson from it…you have a very cool story to tell.  Stories of recovery, triumph, loss, happiness, sadness, grief and of course funny and happy stories.

Never settle for mediocre, never take the easy road, do something that makes you feel alive and always tell your story with passion.

Namaste

15 ways to become the best version of yourself

Being the best version of yourself can mean many different things to people.  However, I think there are key attributes that pertain to each of us as we strive to be the best person we can be, internally, not just on the surface.

When I think of being the best version of myself it doesn’t mean I am always happy or things are perfect, on the contrary….it means I honor where I am at all times (the good and the difficult) and I am gentle with myself when I need to be.

Being the best version of yourself means you wake up ready to tackle the day that is ahead of you and you go to bed at night knowing you did the best you could, even if things did not go as planned.

Below are true and proven ways to shift your perspective to help you on your Journey to becoming your best you!


Balance

We must find balance in life in order to be our best and most healthy self.  When we are trying to “manage” life without balance we burn out quickly.   Creating a balanced lifestyle will help you avoid the crash & burn which leads to anxiety, depression and stress.  Remember to always make time for yourself, even 15 minutes a day doing Yoga, meditating, taking a walk or a hot lavender & Epsom salt bath will re-charge and refresh your soul.

Shifting the way you see yourself

During the process of learning who you are, you will experience many painful moments. Rather than resisting or struggling against these times, breathe into them. Shift your perspective so that you appreciate these moments knowing they are helping you grow.  Thank the Universe for this learning opportunity, forgive yourself and those who have hurt you and focus on all the wonderful things that make you who you are.

Core Values

What is your Mantra?

If you haven’t defined the best version of yourself, whip out your journal and begin with writing down your goals & values. What are the most important goals & values in your personal life and work? What values do you use to define the person you are now and who do you want to be in the future. Get very clear on those.  Exercise:  write your values in your journal and add to them over time as you start to shift perspective.

Life Vision

Spend some time with yourself and create a vision for your future life.  Look at every aspect of your life and envision how you want it to look through journaling, drawing, vision boards etc. This is a fun and creative way to manifest a vision.  Be specific, the Universe can only give you what you ask for if you are clear with what it is you want.

Create a put into action plan

Once you have brought your vision to life it is time to execute an action plan on how to receive all you desire.  Setting goals is important and a huge part of creating the vision.  Use stepping stones to get there….one step at a time.

Rituals

I love rituals as I speak of them in almost every blog.  Rituals create a pattern or a habit and create consistency which is critical with self-love and self-care.  It is easy to start something and eventually fizzle out.  I personally have learned from experience that rituals keep us on task and motivated to keep going.

Letting go

We all have those people in our life that have been in our life a while, however we aren’t sure why we still engage with them.  They are a negative time-suck and are actually toxic to our existence.  We dodge their phone calls, don’t return their texts but still we keep them around.  Let them go.  If they no longer serve you in a positive way, if you feel drained from being in their presence, let them go.  By letting them go you will open the door for something better.

Simplify

Determine what you really need in life to be happy. Usually its the simplicity of life that brings us the happiest moments.  Exercise:  host a de-clutter ritual in your home.  It can be very healing.

Create a life you don’t need a vacation from

How many times do you hear people say, “ugh, I need a vacation”.  Guess what, you can go away but you must return.  Since a vacation isn’t forever why don’t you create a life that you don’t need to run away from.  Make your home your sanctuary.  Create rituals in your life that give you a break from reality without having to spend thousands to do so.

Intuition

Listen to your gut….always.  Intuition will never steer you the wrong way.

Honor where are you are at this moment

Whatever you are feeling is where you are at the moment and you need to spend time in that feeling.  Sit with it, accept it and move forward.  Do not try to push those feelings away, as they will return and wreak havoc in other areas of your life.  If you simply accept and honor where you are at you will move on much quicker than those who choose to ignore how they feel.

“If we do not suffer a loss all the way to the end, it will wait for us” – unkown

Exercise/Nutrition

Start an exercise routine today if you haven’t already.  There are so many wonderful and free resources out there to help you design your own wellness routine.  If you need help creating this routine, please contact me at aveshaempower@gmail.com and we will get you started.  This also includes nutrition.  Start a Keystone Habit involving exercise and eating healthy and watch everything else fall into place.

Forgiveness and Healing

Where you are wounded, where you are hurt, where you are frightened — seek healing. Restore and forgive yourself. Get well again. Do what must be done to heal. You can’t be the best version of yourself when you are emotionally, mentally, or physically unwell.

Gratitude

*Be grateful for what is*

Spend a few minutes in gratitude every day through mindful meditation. Focus on all the blessings in your life and thank the Universe for them. Being grateful for what you do have and acknowledging that gratitude will change your mindset over time.

Give back

There are many ways to give back, either through community work or spending time with your friends and sharing this new mindset with them.  Everyone can benefit from being their happiest and healthiest self.

Are you the best version of yourself, and how are you working to become that person?

Namaste

 

Grounding exercises to ease anxiety and the stress of daily life

Read this article in the Elephant Journal Magazine by clicking here: Grounding/Earthing

Life is busy.

Let’s face it, managing home, work, and family obligations is overwhelming and feels endless.  We tirelessly manage to get through the day by ticking the boxes of our “to do” list until we eventually crawl into bed only to do it all over again the next day.

This type of lifestyle can cause us a tremendous amount of anxiety and stress.  Our bodies are constantly in a state of fight or flight and we are maxing out our adrenal glands.  This type of stress not only causes anxiety but insomnia, weight gain, heart issues and high blood pressure.

How do we handle this?  My suggestion..in addition to self care techniques that you can find in my previous blogs (ex. How to practice self love daily) you need to implement a grounding or earthing practice to your daily routine.

Grounding is a technique that brings people back to the the present moment when they are in the midst of chaos. Grounding skills can be helpful with managing feelings of intense anxiety and can help people regain their mental focus after a traumatic event or anxiety induced state.

There are many proven ways to ground yourself.  If you are in the midst of an anxiety attack and need to get “grounded” you can start by counting backwards either in your mind or out loud, this is actually a mental distraction and therefore takes the focus off the anxiety.  Another wonderful and successful technique is to look around the room and name what you see “lamp, table, picture of my kids, 5 pens in a pencil holder, painting with a horse and a tree…whatever it is you see, call it out.  This helps ground you into the present moment.

Some grounding techniques are actually referred to as “earthing” and like the name suggests, you literally become one with the earth by putting your body in direct and uninterrupted contact with the earth. This exercise requires that your skin touch the soil, sand, water, or a conductive surface that is in contact with the earth.

This can be mean dipping your toes in the sand at the beach, walking in nature, going for a hike deep in the forest, swimming in a lake or the ocean, planting seeds or replanting flowers and digging in the dirt or just walking through the grass barefoot.  Earthing has a tremendous amount of health benefits, too many to mention in this article so I empower you to google “earthing” and “grounding”.

I have compiled a list below of my favorite grounding activities (more than one involves earthing):

  1. Walking or hiking – walking is the simplest and most effective way to reduce anxiety.  Walking at an even pace has a very calming effect.  It can evoke mindfulness, clear your head of rapidly cycling thoughts and release stress.  When walking (or hiking) in nature you will feel more relaxed and open during the walk.  You can also take it one step further and meditate while you walk.  Walks on the beach are amazingly therapeutic as well.  The salt air and calming sound of the ocean is very grounding.
  2. Yoga – specifically Hatha Yoga which is the simplest form of Asana’s (yoga postures) and pranayama (breathing techniques).  Yoga is the soul practice of the body, mind and your spirit and brings you to a state of mindfulness.  This technique can be done at home, for as practice as short or as long as you desire.  I recommend at least 15 minutes for a session length although 30 is ideal.
  3. Gardening – nothing connects you to the earth more than gardening.  This is a fantastic example of earthing as your hands are completely immersed in the soil.  Such a peaceful and mindful art and one that has so many benefits.
  4. Journaling – keeps you in a state of mindfulness by helping to remove negative thoughts as well as organize those distracting racing thoughts.  Getting your thoughts and ideas down on paper will help you clear your mind and enable you to to get to a peaceful state quickly.  Organizing your thoughts also helps you to set and ultimately obtain goals in a more efficient way.
  5. Arts/Crafts/Creativity – being creative by using your imagination and putting ideas into action is a very grounding activity that also has a beneficial and tangible outcome.

Whatever practice you choose, immerse yourself in it.  Bask in the moment of the activity and when you find your mind start to drift and your thoughts beginning to wander…bring yourself back to the moment.  Feel the earth as you put your hands in the dirt, walk across the grass or stick your toes in the sand.  To ground yourself even further, describe out loud how it feels. Describing it makes it feel real.

I love walking barefoot in the grass on a chilly summer morning after it has rained and the grass is wet with dew.  The feeling is magical and reminds me of childhood.  Remember being a child and running through the sprinkler?  Wasn’t that magical?

Even as adults we can create magical moments that make us feel like children again.  The wonderment, the joy and the peace we felt when we were riding our bikes and the wind blew through our hair, or doing summer-salts on a warm summer day with the sun beaming down on us.  How about that moment when you take that first lick of an ice cream cone.

Those moments are priceless.

We can have those now, as adults, we just have to create them.  We live in a world of chaos and instant gratification.  It is our commitment to ourselves to take a step back and slow things down so we can enjoy every single moment, because right now is all we have.

So I empower you to try at least one of these amazing techniques to help ground you and live in each moment as it comes.  It isn’t easy, but over time, it will become easier.

Namaste’

Peace…love…health…always!

As always, if you are ready to embark on your new Journey of self care, self love, and mindfulness Contact Us

Photo by rawpixel.com on Unsplash

Gentle

Gentle is a fantastic word that I feel embraces the magical side of vulnerability.

Gentle….implies patience, grace and class.

Being gentle with yourself means you are honoring where you are…at this moment…without judgment.  Simply allowing yourself to feel your feelings.

When you honor yourself and are gentle with yourself you are giving yourself permission to just be.  Allowing yourself to be in that moment and feel your feelings truly opens up your soul to healing and your mind to information that can help you on your Journey.

When you judge yourself you are boxing yourself into a space of shame & disappointment with “should have’s” and personal regrets that do not serve a purpose.  The goal of life is to learn the lesson and move on, gracefully.  Forgiving yourself along the way.

Know that you are exactly where you need to be, always.  Simply be & ask yourself what you need at this very moment…love, space, help, advice?  Then honor yourself with whatever it is you need and do not shame yourself for feeling and needing, it is all part of the healing process and critical to your development.

Today, at every moment, be gentle with and honor yourself.

Remember, enjoy today, because tomorrow is not promised.

Namaste’

The real benefits of working with a Life Coach

In my previous blog Why a Life Coach? I provide a simple explanation to the question, why would I need a life coach?

To take this one step further I wanted to share with you the benefits of working with a Life Coach and encourage you to make the choice to work with one, no matter where you are on your Journey.

Life Coaching is an ongoing relationship that can help you to produce positive results in your life, whether the focus is your career, personal or family decisions/issues or both a Life Coaching program can provide you with support and guidance through all of life’s challenges no matter how big or small.

As I mentioned in my previous post Life Coaching is neither counseling or therapy.  I describe Life Coaching as personal and professional guidance to help people move forward and set personal and professional goals that will give them the life they really want but aren’t able to achieve on their own.

As your personal Coach I will show you techniques (tools in the tool box) and simple life strategies to help you as you embark on your Journey to whatever you are looking to achieve.  Whether its healing from trauma, building strength and life skills, choosing a new career path, wanting to start a family, or navigating through the issues of your current life situation, a Life Coach is there for you every step of the way, empowering you to be your best and highest Self.

Think of your Coach as a friend who you spill your guts to, without receiving judgement and unwanted (bad) advice and with a bit more expertise and skill in helping you achieve your goals, whatever those may be.

There are many benefits to hiring a skilled and committed Life Coach:

Clarity (goal setting)

Helping you determine what you want from life (and if you are capable of it) is the first step in this process.

The initial on-boarding process will help me get to know you better which will help us get clear on what you would like to achieve from our coaching sessions.

We will have a series of goal setting sessions which will determine the direction you would like to head in and the speed in which we need to get you there 🙂

Commitment

The most important part of the entire process is your commitment to it.  After goal setting we will put together a step by step plan towards the goals we set which will ultimately get you to your final destination.  How exciting!

However, the only way we will be successful is if you fully commit to the process and plan that we develop.  Without commitment, we have nothing but empty promises and dreams.

Relish in the Opportunity to Focus Solely on Yourself

Life coaching is an incredible opportunity for self-love and self-care which gives us the confidence to go after our dreams.  Life Coaching gives you the permission to think about you and only you , what you want from life and how you are going to get there. This can be a life changing experience, if you allow it to be.

Personal & Professional Development

Life coaching is very challenging and hard work, but it is also rewarding and a lot of fun. Not only will we be building a solid and trusting relationship, but you will be looking at yourself with fresh eyes and pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone which can be very empowering. Life coaching will enhance your personal & professional development and will empower you to push yourself to the next level.  Never settling.

If you are ready to take the next step with coaching, please Contact Us today to set up a free consultation.

In my opinion, everyone should have a Life Coach by their side.  I do 🙂

Discovery through journaling…

Journaling has been an incredible healing and development tool in my life and also for those who have mentored me.  Therapists, coaches and teachers all recommend journaling as a tool for healing from traumatic events as well as for personal development, goal setting, learning and discovering what is holding you back etc.  I fully encourage this practice with friends, family, strangers on planes, and of course with my coaching clients.  If you are seeing a therapist, or a life coach or working with a counselor one of the first things they will recommend you do when you are struggling with life is….buy yourself a journal.  However, you have to be ready to get deep.

When I was in the midst of my “trauma” and trying to bounce back from a horrible life event (the loss of my husband to mental illness, addiction and our ultimate divorce), what helped me take the first steps towards healing was when I started journaling.  There was a point where I did not go anywhere without my journal, seriously, it was like my security blanket.  Through this practice I wrote what I call my “42” list….which literally is the 42 things about my now ex-husband that I dislike. In fact what I learned through journaling is that there wasn’t much I liked about him at all.  It was also through journaling I discovered the level of emotional abuse I had experienced and how lonely and  miserable I was in that marriage despite putting on a completely different front to those around me.  Remember, perception is reality, to a point.

Through journaling I discovered how amazing and free it felt to be able to openly express my thoughts without shame and work through them in my own private world and in my own time.  I also learned how critical those thoughts are when you start the healing process in therapy.  Journaling can take therapy to a whole new level and accelerate the healing process.

Amazing how the thoughts that end up on paper were sitting in your head taking up so much head space.  What a tremendous amount of pressure that is on your mind to hold all that information in there and carry it around, in some cases, forever.  No wonder people have so much anxiety….seeing as though humans are believed to have over 50,000 – 70,000 thoughts a day…how exhausting!

So this article is for those of you who need inspiration to start journaling, today.

Below are some starter journaling topics to get you thinking and writing….which ultimately leads to so much more (see How to start Journaling – Keystone Habit)


  1. Who are you, really?
  2. What person do you put out into the world?
  3. What are you passionate about?
  4. What are the achievements you are most proud of?
  5. What are you most grateful for in life?
  6. What are the most important things to you in life?
  7. How would you describe yourself?
  8. What are your values?
  9. Do you love yourself?
  10. … Why or Why not?
  11. How can you love yourself more today?
  12.  What does it mean to be your highest self?
  13. Look at your life now. Are you living the life of your dreams?
  14. If you have one year left to live what would you do first?
  15. What would you do today if there is no more tomorrow?
  16. What are the biggest things you’ve learned in life to date?
  17. What advice would you give to your younger self?
  18. Who inspires you?
  19. Is there something you’re still holding on to?
  20. What do you need to let go of?
  21. What is taking up too much headspace?
  22. What are your biggest goals and dreams?
  23. What would you do if you cannot fail; if there are no limitations in money, resources, time or networks?
  24. What do you want to achieve 1 year from now?
  25. What limiting beliefs are you holding on to?
  26. What bad habits do you want to break?
  27. Are you living your life to the fullest right now?
  28. What drives you?
  29. How can you change someone’s life for the better today?
  30. Who have been the most influential people in your life?
  31. Are these people enabling you or holding you back?
  32. What is your ideal life partner like?
  33. Are you afraid of of letting others get close to you?
  34. What is one thing you’re going to do differently after reading this article?