Tag Archives: self-esteem

The Mirror

Did you know that the people you surround yourself with are reflections of certain parts of yourself (ironically they are usually the parts you don’t quite like).

These people are your “mirror”.

What does this mean?

Quite simply, we attract what we are (or ourselves). Ever notice something irritating or infuriating about someone…could be your child, friend or your spouse?  Well, most likely you see something in them that you don’t like about yourself. They have a quality that you recognize and focus on that is something you wish to change about you.

Interesting concept huh?

There are those of us who are subconsciously reliving our youth traumas which contribute to our fears, anxieties, drama’s etc.  We are attracting those people, by our own design, so that they reflect the same dysfunctions in us by bringing them to the surface.  It’s like looking in the mirror and not liking what we see (emotionally).

As yourself these questions:

  1. Do you attract emotionally unavailable partners that are non-committal in relationships?
  2. Do you constantly focus on the relationships you can’t have without exploring why you are not attracting men/women who ARE available?
  3. Are you attracted to married women/men?
  4. Do you attract men/women who need “fixing”?
  5. Are you a magnet for negative people and gossip?
  6. Do you continuously have drama and dysfunction in your life?

If any of these scenario’s sounds familiar you need to explore deeply and ask yourself:

  1.  Am I emotionally available and able to commit to a healthy relationship?
  2.  Are there parts of me that need fixing that I am avoiding (old wounds) which is why I focus on him/her vs. myself?
  3.  Am I subconsciously working through childhood trauma (i.e. abandonment) by chasing unavailable partners?
  4.  Am I trying to protect myself therefor I attract which that which I cannot have?
  5. Am I part of the problem?
  6. Do I attract drama because of my own negativity? (drama can’t live unless you feed it)

Simply put, if you want to attract healthy people into your life.  If you desire healthy friendships and relationships (i.e. lovers, family, co-workers, etc.) then you yourself need to be healthy.

Remember people will treat you how you allow them to. This is usually a direct reflection of how you feel about and treat yourself. When you value yourself and love yourself there is no way you would let someone treat you bad or disrespect you.

If you take the time to work on yourself (self love/care) not only will you feel AMAZING but you will attract healthier people into your life and have deeper more meaningful relationships.

Start today with focusing on yourself..look in your own mirror and decide what part of you is attracting toxic people.

Remember, people will always show you who they are – believe them the first time.

Namaste

If you are interested in one on one coaching please click contact us.

Journey to Discovering Your Purpose

Your purpose in life can be as simple or as complicated as you require it to be.  You don’t need to aspire to be Beyonce or the Dahli Lama to have a meaningful life purpose.  The only thing you need it to do is fulfill yourself on all levels but mostly your soul level.

Your life’s purpose is solely specific to you.

Some people never figure out their life’s purpose and others think they figure it out and then realize that they were wrong.  I think when you figure it out, when you nail it, you feel it deep down in your soul…like “this is exactly what I was meant for”.

I also truly believe, and this is just me, that we have many different purposes as we cycle through life.  For instance I know one of my life’s purpose is to be a mother to these two boys of mine.  There is nothing in the world I am more proud of and that brings me as much joy as knowing they exist and that I brought them here.

But my purpose doesn’t stop there.

My secondary purpose, and I learned this through my biggest life lesson thus far, is my gift of empowering people (mostly women).  I am not an extreme feminist.  In fact I am quite traditional and believe in the institution of marriage (kind of) and I do believe in relationship “roles”, however, I know that a lot of women struggle with losing themselves in relationships and fall apart when they are not in one.  In addition, there are a lot of women that allow men to take away their spirit and breakdown their esteem to the point of extinction.  These women are fragile, confused, broken and traumatized – I know what this feels like because I was there.

My purpose is to help these women find themselves again.  To find happiness inside themselves and to stop allowing people to take away their peace.  I build them up and make them see their own beauty and help them find their own purpose in this beautiful life that really is so short.

So our purpose is often revealed during the hardest struggles of our lives.  That is why they say “there is beauty in the struggle” because there is.  This is why you must learn the lessons that the Universe wants to teach you, the first time, so you can feel and experience that beauty.

Your life purpose can be to travel, learn different cultures and pass the knowledge on to others through vices like blogging; or your purpose could be to work with animal rescues; or abused women helping them find safety; or to work with children in some capacity.  The options are truly endless.

Identifying your purpose is simple once you start putting a few things into practice:

  1.  Sit with yourself – get quiet – start asking yourself what your soul needs to feel accomplished in this lifetime
  2. Ask yourself, if you were to have a limited time on this earth (which we do) what would you want to do with that time
  3. Start journaling your passions, define them, see how you react as you start writing things down, do you get motivated and excited?

Once you have defined your purpose, start taking action, and once you do…the Universe follows suit and things start falling into place.

 

 

 

Letting go and finding you

Letting go is probably the easiest thing to say but the hardest thing in life to do.  Letting go involves so many different emotions…but mainly, fear.

We hang on tight to whatever it is that owns us because we are afraid to trust ourselves, the Universe and God to catch us as we inevitably fall.  There is a release when we let go which can be exciting and terrifying at the same time.  Sometimes we are ready for it, but its letting go of that last grip that paralyzes us.

We know its time, we have known for a while, but knowing and doing are so different.  When you finally let go, its over.  Then what?  Its time for your next journey!  There is no more waiting for something to change or get better.  You have surrendered to the fact that that which you let go of, will no longer will be.

Letting go is a process which involves self discovery and it can be a long one, so it is incredibly important to honor yourself during this time.  You need to feel whatever feelings come up and do not push them away for another time (because I promise, they will return).  Feel them and then let them go.  Honor what you need at that moment.  Do you need to isolate? do you need support? do you need to work with a counselor?  It is important that you give yourself whatever it is you need at the time to be able to move forward with letting go and not jump backwards trying to preserve yourself.

Please know that friends will not always come with you…letting go of one thing may cause a trickle down effect that may cause you to let go other things along the way (been there, done that).  You may find, as you go along your beautiful journey that some people and circumstances may no longer serve you on this new path that you have carved for yourself.  That is OK, let them go.  You can love them as you always have but you acknowledge that they no longer serve your Highest Self.

Now its time to find you (this is the exciting part)!

Now that you have let go of what was weighing you down and holding you back, let’s explore:

Who are you?

What excites you?

What emotions do you feel after letting go?

What does a blank slate look like to you?

Where are you struggling with the most?

Start journaling your thoughts and feelings, daily, or even multiple times a day (I carry a journal with me).  Documenting your journey is the best way to (a) gage progress (b) understanding who you were vs. who you are today (c) see where you are headed and what your road blocks are.

There are many reasons to hold on but even more reasons to let go.  Letting go releases those binds that hold us to things that are not good for us.  Letting go truly does open the door for so much good to enter.

If you close a door, a window will open, trust me, I say this from experience.

Letting go is a painful lesson on life’s journey but the rewards once you get to the other side are amazing.

~Peace~Love~Light~

Avesha

 

The Empowered Soul

What is the definition of “Empowerment”?

Empowerment Means:

  • The process of becoming stronger & more confident.
  • Gaining or claiming control of your life  and your rights.
  • Being more assertive and powerful in your personal and professional life.
  • Going after what you desire and feeling you deserve it.
  • Trusting your intuition to make good decisions.

What does it mean to be Empowered?

This is solely up to you.

Each person defines Empowerment differently as it pertains to their own goals and what they are looking to achieve.

I am requesting that you to dig deep here and ask yourself – “how do I want & what do I need to be Empowered?”

(personal exercise: what does empowerment mean to you? – please write this down in your journal – be descriptive – this is the first step in the empowerment process)

What Empowerment means, in the words of some beautiful women

  • Strength, wisdom, independence
  • Living in the now & being at peace with my complexities
  • Being my best self
  • The ability to take all of life’s challenges & rise just how we are
  • Feeling in control of your life
  • Being able to make decisions & have options
  • Self care and a loving relationship with yourself
  • Feeling free to be yourself without worrying about what someone else might think
  • Having the strength to recognize and travel my own path and not the path others would lay out for me
  • Supporting yourself, and those around you, to provide the confidence needed to voice feelings and take action
  • Having the confidence to say no or walk away from a toxic or unhealthy situation
  • Setting boundaries

How to become Empowered

Intuition

Below are a number of suggestions on how to Empower yourself to be more confident, self-assured, powerful and more importantly to trust your intuition.

There is no timeline on how long it takes to become empowered, but the key is to be consistent and to always be working on yourself!

Remember we are all a work in progress!

~Life is an endless process of self discovery~

Exercise, Oftenyoga-698114_1920

No more using the “I don’t have time” excuse.

Exercise changes our mindset and gives us more confidence (this is a top KeyStone habit) – for more information on Keystone habits visit my website at http://www.aveshaempower.com

Exercise comes in many forms, you do not have to join a gym to start an exercise routine.  Here are some examples of ways you can get exercise:

  1. Wake up early and walk your dog (or at night after work)
  2. Start a Yoga, Pilates or a BootCamp or interval training routine (at home or a local studio)
  3. Hop on that treadmill (yep, the one you don’t use)
  4. Walk with friends at lunch (organize a walking group)
  5. Take a hike – this is an amazing grounding or earthing exercise that can truly change your mindset as soon as you enter the forest
  6. Download an exercise app (there are plenty of them to choose from) – ask me and I will recommend a few

Find your inner “bitch”

Yup, I said it, be a bitch!

  1. Honor yourself
  2. Put yourself first (I promise this is not being selfish)
  3. Speak up for yourself and stand up for what you believe in
  4. Say NO whenever it is appropriate
  5. Do NOT tolerate behaviors that are not healthy for you!
  6. Let go of those that do not serve your greatest good

Enjoy being with YOURSELF

Notice I did not use the word, alone?

Why?  because you are not alone – unless of course you are living in isolation which I would guarantee you are not.

But in all seriousness you are not alone, you have yourself – and who is better than that?  No one!

Get comfy with who you are, enjoy your own company, spend time doing the things you enjoy doing and you will discover a lot about yourself by doing so.  Spend some time in nature…enjoy the peacefulness and the beauty of all that surrounds you.

(personal exercise:  Grab your journal and go for a hike, find a nice place to rest and write about how you feel.  Nature is very grounding!  Sit with your thoughts and then write about them)

Say NO and feel good about it!

Everyone, including you, has the right to say no.

So, if there is something you do not want to do or that you are not comfortable with – use your voice!

Say no, confidently, knowing you are honoring yourself.

**Disclaimer: make sure you say no in a non-offensive way…you don’t want to intentionally upset anyone.**

(personal exercise: Grab your journal and think of a scenario where you would like to say No but you don’t – write it down in your journal – how does it make you feel when you thinking of saying no?  write that down too)

Try new things!

Things

Seriously, try anything (within reason).

Make a list and check them off one by one (bucket lists).

Examples:

  1. Take a class (art, cooking, photography, pottery)
  2. Try making soap or jewelry
  3. Take up a sport or start exercising – daily
  4. Travel with someone or alone
  5. DIY projects (refinish furniture, paint something)
  6. SUP/Kayak, hiking, get out into nature
  7. Yoga
  8. Create a Meetup Group
  9. Go back to school and take classes

The list is endless really….start making your list right now (journal exercise)

Remove toxic people from your life!danger-3061159_1280

This is probably the most important thing you can do in your life to move forward (and the scariest and the hardest to do).

This includes:

  • Dramatic people
  • Negative people
  • People with opposite morals/values
  • Time and life suckers
  • Users
  • Addicts

Let them go.

If they do not bring you happiness and only cause you stress, anxiety or dread…its time to move on .  However, if you cannot remove them from your life, at least set boundaries with them.

(personal exercise:  Grab your journal and make a list of those you need to create boundaries with or to remove from your life altogether)

Know and accept your beauty,

inside and out!butterfly-3252893_1920

Self acceptance and self love is the most critical piece to our self worth!

How we feel about ourselves is how others perceive us.

Remember…the mirror?

Put it this way, if you don’t love you….and I mean all of you, who will?

Ok so your butt is big, your eyes are too small, you are too short or too tall, you could use a few pounds or could lose a few pounds – who cares, no one is perfect.  Never compare yourself to anyone!  You are unique.

(personal exercise:  Grab your journal and write down what makes you loveable? start a list in your journal of at least 7 or more of your most amazing qualities and add to it over time)

Define YOUR own success!

Remember success is specific to you and your unique goals!

Let’s set some obtainable goals BIG & small so you can figure out with your life coach or by yourself how you will reach these goals (i.e. relationship, weight loss, new job, life balance, work, no work, buying a house, raising kids, cars, vacations, school, etc.)

Set time lines (we all do better when we know what is expected of us and some of us work better when we are under pressure).

(personal exercise:  Grab your journal and start making a list of obtainable goals and add to it over time)

LOVE& Respect Yourself!

Madly & Unconditionallyheart-3280747_1920

  • Set a daily routine
  • Sleep at least 7 hours
  • Eat Healthy & Amazing Foods (work with your coach on this)
  • Exercise regularly (*yoga, walking, hiking*)
  • Meditate daily (download the Simple Habit app for guided meditation)
  • Get a massage or Energy Healing
  • Spend time with nature (hike, go to the park)
  • Read a good book or two/LESS SCREEN TIME AND GET OFF FACEBOOK
  • Spend time with healthy people
  • Journal
  • Set KeyStone Habits

(personal exercise:  Grab your journal and write down ways you can love yourself more)

Monitor your thoughts, often!

Be conscious of the stories you are telling yourself (do not let your “stories” be defined by anything but your Higher Self)

Let go of the past and create a new story (not just a chapter)!  Remember, your past does not define you.

Keep your thoughts positive & motivating (do not ruminate about the past)

(tip:  choose to have daily mantras sent to you (there are plenty of apps to choose from, pick one that works best for you)

(personal exercise:  Grab your journal write down the thoughts that keep swirling in your mind which are keeping you from being mindful)

  ~The mind is everything, what you think you become~

Conclusion

Making significant changes in your life and healing from any sort of trauma or bad experiences takes time and Empowering yourself takes lots of work and energy to keep going.

There will be times you want to give up, you won’t see your progress (although others do) and you may even feel its not worth it.  Do not stop, ever, by all means, have a down “poor me” day, eat ice cream, wallow in sadness but do not give up.

Wake up the next morning….get on your yoga mat, take a walk, make a smoothie, sing in the shower, do whatever you have to do to motivate and keep going but do NOT give up.

This workshop was created to Empower you to be your Best and Highest Self.  I have done the work, I know how hard it is, but once you get to the other side, you will see that its worth it.

Love and Healing Always,

Namaste

Contact us at Avesha if you like us to join you on your new Empowerment Journey!