How to practice self love daily

How do you start your day?

~Life is an endless process of self discovery~

Self-love is not a trend, it is not something you do when you feel like it.  You don’t just “do self-love” after a break up or after you experience trauma.  Self-love is a life long practice that needs to be added to your every day life. With self-love comes the releasing of negative thoughts and self-criticism by embracing more of a loving and positive acceptance of yourself through forgiveness of yourself and others.

The Universal concept is that our thoughts create our actions and therefore those thoughts dictate the outcome in our lives.  Self-love is a very powerful and necessary practice and critical if you want to have healthy relationships with others.

Self-love is not selfish!

Taking care of and loving ourselves and being a whole, sound and emotionally healthy person allows us to take care of others without it feeling like a burden. If you aren’t taking care of yourself, if you don’t rest and relax your soul, then you will be of no help to others— especially yourself.  You will eventually feel drained and eventually there will be nothing left to give.  You must give to yourself as well as give to others.

Below is a a simple self-love checklist that may seem overwhelming to you at first, however, I promise that if you commit to adding a majority of them into your daily routine or practice as I like to call it, every single day, you’ll see the benefits immediately.

45 Ways to Practice Self-Love

  1. Create a quiet and safe zone in your home (may it be a corner, a closet, or a spare rom and deem it your “space”)
  2. Buy yourself fresh flowers (or cut them from your garden and display them)
  3. Grow a garden of fresh vegetables
  4. Start an exercise routine (yoga, pilates, the gym, take a walk) – increase those endorphins (see Creating a workout routine you can and will stick to)
  5. Read, take a nap, listen to music, sit quietly – please just rest your soul
  6. Buy yourself some new makeup and play with it
  7. Create a daily bucket list and post it
  8. Repeat the following mantra “I love and accept myself”
  9. Make a list of all the things you like about yourself
  10. Create a gratitude journal (see How to start Journaling – Keystone Habit)
  11. Start your day with meditation and yoga
  12. Implement a “treat yourself day” (mine is Friday)
  13. Dress nice, even if you don’t have to, put on those earrings, scarf and lipstick and show the world how beautiful you are
  14. Take a breath between your bites of food and savor the taste
  15. Make yourself a hot cup of coffee or tea and savor each sip
  16. Have a protein or collagen smoothie every morning
  17. Sleep at least 7 hours a day
  18. Say no and be ok with it
  19. Pay it forward, always
  20. Make someone feel good whenever you can
  21. Smile often, even if no one is smiling at you (they may think you are weird but that is ok)
  22. Eat food that is nourishing (put down the boxed food – unless its treat day)
  23. Get a massage and have them use essential oils
  24. Go for a hike or long walk in nature
  25. Be confident (walk and talk with confidence)
  26. Learn something new – dance classes, yoga, tennis lessons, start or join a MeetUp group
  27. Host a ladies night
  28. Call a friend and laugh for hours about nothing (no complaining)
  29. Spend time with your kids before they grow up and move away 😦
  30. Get a new haircut and/or buy some new makeup
  31. Eat chocolate guilt free (maybe on treat day)
  32. When someone offers your a compliment, simply say, “Thank you”
  33. Travel solo
  34. Set a no screen time in your house (dinner, after 9, etc)
  35. Set goals (see Improve your life with these simple Keystone Habits)
  36. Take a day off and do something nice for yourself (go to the gym, coffee shop, shop, meet a friend for lunch, take a walk, sleep)
  37. Self-love mantra: “I am enough. I have enough. I do enough”
  38. Let go of what no longer serves you
  39. Buy a diffuser and infuse essential oils like lavender
  40. Write a letter to yourself and put it away for a year
  41. Host a dinner party
  42. Hire a coach or a counselor (see The real benefits of working with a Life Coach)
  43. Take a hot bath with Epsom salt and lavender (or whatever your favorite oil is)
  44. Make new friends (and remove those toxic ones)
  45. Clean out your closet and donate clothes you no longer wear

The biggest message I have is, be gentle with yourself and always honor where you are at every stage of your Journey.

The best advice I have been given – ever is to ~feel your feelings~

Namaste’

Contact Us if you would like to work with a coach to help you kick start your self-love and self care routine!

Fitness Over 40

There is no better time than right now to start a fitness routine!

Fitness over 40 is a program I have created which involves exercises for each individual person, over 40, based on their fitness goals as well as their body type.

Together we will create a targeted and, as I stated, an individual fitness and nutrition program which will focus on all areas you wish to work on as well as enhance them and of course we will focus on those stubborn areas that may need a little more work 🙂

Our bodies change with age and therefore your fitness routine needs to be realistic based on your age and body type.

For instance, a lower impact, targeted resistance exercise program is much more effective for a body that is over 40.  High impact exercises do not offer the same results.

Unfortunately, high impact exercises (like running) break down the body with little positive results.  They also can result in an injury to our muscles, tissues and even bones if we are not careful.  So something like Crossfit can be dangerous and is known for many issues like muscle tears.

So a good exercise routine should consist of an hour of cardio multiple times per day, 5 days a week with some resistance exercises, light weight training and a 20 minute yoga routine.  This is a much more effective workout and provides proven results over a longer period of time vs. going to the gym daily and pounding away on a treadmill or spin class.

Example:

Morning:  Walk 25 minutes either outside or on treadmill; do 15 minutes of yoga stretches and some light weights (multiple exercises/multiple reps)

Afternoon:  Take a lunchtime walk before you eat (starts the fat burn process)

Evening:  Go for a walk / jog, or use the elliptical; do a 25-40 minute resistance or boot camp routine; end with 20 minutes of yoga stretches

Doing this 5 – 6 days a week will change your life

Again, the workouts will be tailored to your fitness goals and those stubborn areas you wish to work on.

Example:

  • if you are looking to strengthen your core, we will create your routine to accomplish this with strict core exercises mixed with some resistance training and light weights.
  • want to tone that butt of yours, we will work in a number of squat exercises with a fantastic Barre routine.
  • need to lengthen and tone as well as get a good work out?  Power Yoga/Barre is your modality.

We will work together, as a team, to get you started on your fitness goals which will also include a comprehensive nutrition program as well.

No, you do not have to buy special meals or supplements from me.  We will simply talk about healthy eating habits as well as what supplements may be right for you (you will purchase them when and where you are happy doing so).

I specialize in living a healthy and empowered life and in my experience you accomplish this by being a whole healthy being…emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Balance!

Contact us today!

 

– what is it that you need from a relationship? –

Whether you have initiated the break up or have been broken up with it’s important to understand the lesson you are supposed to learn from the experience.

It’s so easy to focus or dwell on the good times and the things that you miss about the relationship but it is important to recognize what you didn’t get from the relationship as well.

There is a saying, a popular one that states when one door closes another one opens.  I believe in this.  Think of it this way, the door is closing for a reason and once you determine what that reason is, it can open you up to so many possibilities.

The other piece of this is, some people are just not meant to be together long term.  There may have been a short term compatibility but people do change and grow over time.  Basically because we do not stay the same person throughout our lifetime (thank God).  With that, our needs and interests change as well, drawing us to new people and experiences.

Since I am on my own personal Journey I figured I would share my list of non-negotiable’s with you in hopes that you will draft up your own list and start focusing on what you need vs. what you have lost 🙂

Here are the basic things I need from a healthy relationship, that he could not give me:

  1. Trust
  2. Respect
  3. Honesty
  4. Humility
  5. Appreciation
  6. Healthy love
  7. Patience
  8. Support
  9. Truth, always, no matter how it hurts
  10. Honest communication
  11. Conflict resolution
  12. Comprimise

In my opinion they are as basic as it gets.  There are others, but they fall into another category meant for another blog.

Basic needs sometimes are the hardest to have filled.  If you ever talk to someone who is in a toxic relationship they will tell you all the reasons why they are together but you learn right away their basic needs are not being met.

It has taken me nearly two years to understand that these simple and basic needs, I deserve to have them met.

Everyone deserves to have someone appreciate them, support them, communicate honestly with them, to be respected, told the truth.

I ask myself often, why would I ever accept less than this?

You cannot possibly respect yourself if you are willing to tolerate someone emotionally abusing you.  Even if they are not consciously doing it, by not treating you with respect and by not being honest with you or supporting you, they are emotionally abusing you.

This type of abuse comes in many forms that are sometimes not even recognized (i.e. talking down to you, name calling, gas lighting, crazy making, lying lying and more lying.)  Its all emotional abuse.  But this is a topic for another blog, at another time.

I digress 🙂

So as I stated before I went off on my tangent, it is important to look at why the relationship didn’t work out vs. remembering all the good times and wishing you were still together.

I read a study recently about memories and how our brains recall them, here is an excerpt:

“instead of remembering the actual memory, you’re recalling the memory of the last time you remembered it and any mistakes that might have been introduced there. Like a game of human telephone, those mistakes can build on one another over time, leaving out details and introducing mistakes.”

“a memory is not simply an image produced by time traveling back to the original event—it can be an image that is somewhat distorted because of the prior times you remembered it,”

“your memory of an event can grow less precise even to the point of being totally false with each retrieval.”

So this is why it is important that we do not live in the past and we stay in the moment as much as we can because our memories are not exactly a true depiction of what actually happened.

So break out your journal and draft a list of YOUR non-negotiable’s in a relationship.  Start with the basics like I did and then move towards specifics.

Dig deep…you find so much when you do.

Love, light and happiness always

-A

 

 

 

 

 

Journey to Discovering Your Purpose

Your purpose in life can be as simple or as complicated as you require it to be.  You don’t need to aspire to be Beyonce or the Dahli Lama to have a meaningful life purpose.  The only thing you need it to do is fulfill yourself on all levels but mostly your soul level.

Your life’s purpose is solely specific to you.

Some people never figure out their life’s purpose and others think they figure it out and then realize that they were wrong.  I think when you figure it out, when you nail it, you feel it deep down in your soul…like “this is exactly what I was meant for”.

I also truly believe, and this is just me, that we have many different purposes as we cycle through life.  For instance I know one of my life’s purpose is to be a mother to these two boys of mine.  There is nothing in the world I am more proud of and that brings me as much joy as knowing they exist and that I brought them here.

But my purpose doesn’t stop there.

My secondary purpose, and I learned this through my biggest life lesson thus far, is my gift of empowering people (mostly women).  I am not an extreme feminist.  In fact I am quite traditional and believe in the institution of marriage (kind of) and I do believe in relationship “roles”, however, I know that a lot of women struggle with losing themselves in relationships and fall apart when they are not in one.  In addition, there are a lot of women that allow men to take away their spirit and breakdown their esteem to the point of extinction.  These women are fragile, confused, broken and traumatized – I know what this feels like because I was there.

My purpose is to help these women find themselves again.  To find happiness inside themselves and to stop allowing people to take away their peace.  I build them up and make them see their own beauty and help them find their own purpose in this beautiful life that really is so short.

So our purpose is often revealed during the hardest struggles of our lives.  That is why they say “there is beauty in the struggle” because there is.  This is why you must learn the lessons that the Universe wants to teach you, the first time, so you can feel and experience that beauty.

Your life purpose can be to travel, learn different cultures and pass the knowledge on to others through vices like blogging; or your purpose could be to work with animal rescues; or abused women helping them find safety; or to work with children in some capacity.  The options are truly endless.


Identifying your purpose is simple once you start putting a few things into practice:

  1.  Sit with yourself – get quiet – start asking yourself what your soul needs to feel accomplished in this lifetime
  2. Ask yourself, if you were to have a limited time on this earth (which we do) what would you want to do with that time
  3. Start journaling your passions, define them, see how you react as you start writing things down, do you get motivated and excited?

Once you have defined your purpose, start taking action, and once you do…the Universe follows suit and things start falling into place.

 

 

 

The Process of Healing from “Toxic”

Toxic by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

via daily post: Toxic

I read this fantastic article by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby and identified with it completely so I thought I would take the time and write a short blog about healing and what this looks like to me, personally.  To some people who are knee deep in a toxic situation, healing can feel impossible -something that they will never achieve.

Healing is a process.

True healing takes time.  Yes, it is soul wrenching and painful, but you eventually reach a point in your healing, whether it be 6 months down the road or 2 years down the road when you can stop and look at where you are and say…wow,  look how far I have come and it is then that you know, you have reached that point where you would never go back to toxic…it just wouldn’t work for you anymore.

So yes, healing is a process and one that is, as I said, very difficult but it is so worth every tear you shed, every exhausted therapy session and every moment where you think you can’t endure another day…but you do.

I have done this work, I know what true healing from years of toxic means so I have gathered my thoughts this morning and compiled a list of what healing means to me and my hope is that these resonate with you.


Healing Means…

  • Accepting my actions and choices
  • Becoming comfortable with who I am
  • Learning from my mistakes
  • Letting the past go
  • Enjoying the present
  • Forming “my Tribe”
  • Learning to be alone and enjoying it
  • Deciding what I want from life
  • Learning new behaviors
  • Enjoying the peace
  • Forgiving myself and those who have wronged me
  • Ignoring timelines
  • Letting go of judgments (of myself and others)
  • Finding my purpose
  • Learning to love as is (myself and others)
  • Surrounding myself with all that is beautiful & positive

This process has been an amazing Journey for me, one that I would not trade for anything.

So, if you are on the toxic ride and ready to get off please know that having a healthy and happy life apart from “toxic” is not impossible.  When you are ready to commit to a healthier way of living, you can take the small steps that it takes to get there.

If you would like to discuss a plan on how to starting healing from toxic contact us.  I can tell you how to get there.

Remember, we only have this one life…it is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest!

~love~light~healing~

-Avesha

The Empowered Soul

What is the definition of “Empowerment”?


Empowerment Means:

  • The process of becoming stronger & more confident.
  • Gaining or claiming control of your life  and your rights.
  • Being more assertive and powerful in your personal and professional life.
  • Going after what you desire and feeling you deserve it.
  • Trusting your intuition to make good decisions.

What does it mean to be Empowered?


This is solely up to you.

Each person defines Empowerment differently as it pertains to their own goals and what they are looking to achieve.

I am requesting that you to dig deep here and ask yourself – “how do I want & what do I need to be Empowered?”

(personal exercise: what does empowerment mean to you? – please write this down in your journal – be descriptive – this is the first step in the empowerment process)


What Empowerment means, in the words of some beautiful women


  • Strength, wisdom, independence
  • Living in the now & being at peace with my complexities
  • Being my best self
  • The ability to take all of life’s challenges & rise just how we are
  • Feeling in control of your life
  • Being able to make decisions & have options
  • Self care and a loving relationship with yourself
  • Feeling free to be yourself without worrying about what someone else might think
  • Having the strength to recognize and travel my own path and not the path others would lay out for me
  • Supporting yourself, and those around you, to provide the confidence needed to voice feelings and take action
  • Having the confidence to say no or walk away from a toxic or unhealthy situation
  • Setting boundaries

How to become Empowered

Intuition


Below are a number of suggestions on how to Empower yourself to be more confident, self-assured, powerful and more importantly to trust your intuition.

There is no timeline on how long it takes to become empowered, but the key is to be consistent and to always be working on yourself!

Remember we are all a work in progress!

~Life is an endless process of self discovery~


Exercise, Oftenyoga-698114_1920


No more using the “I don’t have time” excuse.

Exercise changes our mindset and gives us more confidence (this is a top KeyStone habit) – for more information on Keystone habits visit my website at http://www.aveshaempower.com

Exercise comes in many forms, you do not have to join a gym to start an exercise routine.  Here are some examples of ways you can get exercise:

  1. Wake up early and walk your dog (or at night after work)
  2. Start a Yoga, Pilates or a BootCamp or interval training routine (at home or a local studio)
  3. Hop on that treadmill (yep, the one you don’t use)
  4. Walk with friends at lunch (organize a walking group)
  5. Take a hike – this is an amazing grounding or earthing exercise that can truly change your mindset as soon as you enter the forest
  6. Download an exercise app (there are plenty of them to choose from) – ask me and I will recommend a few

Find your inner “bitch”


Yup, I said it, be a bitch!

  1. Honor yourself
  2. Put yourself first (I promise this is not being selfish)
  3. Speak up for yourself and stand up for what you believe in
  4. Say NO whenever it is appropriate
  5. Do NOT tolerate behaviors that are not healthy for you!
  6. Let go of those that do not serve your greatest good

Enjoy being with YOURSELF


Notice I did not use the word, alone?

Why?  because you are not alone – unless of course you are living in isolation which I would guarantee you are not.

But in all seriousness you are not alone, you have yourself – and who is better than that?  No one!

Get comfy with who you are, enjoy your own company, spend time doing the things you enjoy doing and you will discover a lot about yourself by doing so.  Spend some time in nature…enjoy the peacefulness and the beauty of all that surrounds you.

(personal exercise:  Grab your journal and go for a hike, find a nice place to rest and write about how you feel.  Nature is very grounding!  Sit with your thoughts and then write about them)


Say NO and feel good about it!


Everyone, including you, has the right to say no.

So, if there is something you do not want to do or that you are not comfortable with – use your voice!

Say no, confidently, knowing you are honoring yourself.

**Disclaimer: make sure you say no in a non-offensive way…you don’t want to intentionally upset anyone.**

(personal exercise: Grab your journal and think of a scenario where you would like to say No but you don’t – write it down in your journal – how does it make you feel when you thinking of saying no?  write that down too)


Try new things!

Things


Seriously, try anything (within reason).

Make a list and check them off one by one (bucket lists).

Examples:

  1. Take a class (art, cooking, photography, pottery)
  2. Try making soap or jewelry
  3. Take up a sport or start exercising – daily
  4. Travel with someone or alone
  5. DIY projects (refinish furniture, paint something)
  6. SUP/Kayak, hiking, get out into nature
  7. Yoga
  8. Create a Meetup Group
  9. Go back to school and take classes

The list is endless really….start making your list right now (journal exercise)


Remove toxic people from your life!danger-3061159_1280


This is probably the most important thing you can do in your life to move forward (and the scariest and the hardest to do).

This includes:

  • Dramatic people
  • Negative people
  • People with opposite morals/values
  • Time and life suckers
  • Users
  • Addicts

Let them go.

If they do not bring you happiness and only cause you stress, anxiety or dread…its time to move on .  However, if you cannot remove them from your life, at least set boundaries with them.

(personal exercise:  Grab your journal and make a list of those you need to create boundaries with or to remove from your life altogether)


Know and accept your beauty,

inside and out!butterfly-3252893_1920


Self acceptance and self love is the most critical piece to our self worth!

How we feel about ourselves is how others perceive us.

Remember…the mirror?

Put it this way, if you don’t love you….and I mean all of you, who will?

Ok so your butt is big, your eyes are too small, you are too short or too tall, you could use a few pounds or could lose a few pounds – who cares, no one is perfect.  Never compare yourself to anyone!  You are unique.

(personal exercise:  Grab your journal and write down what makes you loveable? start a list in your journal of at least 7 or more of your most amazing qualities and add to it over time)


Define YOUR own success!


Remember success is specific to you and your unique goals!

Let’s set some obtainable goals BIG & small so you can figure out with your life coach or by yourself how you will reach these goals (i.e. relationship, weight loss, new job, life balance, work, no work, buying a house, raising kids, cars, vacations, school, etc.)

Set time lines (we all do better when we know what is expected of us and some of us work better when we are under pressure).

(personal exercise:  Grab your journal and start making a list of obtainable goals and add to it over time)


LOVE& Respect Yourself!

Madly & Unconditionallyheart-3280747_1920


  • Set a daily routine
  • Sleep at least 7 hours
  • Eat Healthy & Amazing Foods (work with your coach on this)
  • Exercise regularly (*yoga, walking, hiking*)
  • Meditate daily (download the Simple Habit app for guided meditation)
  • Get a massage or Energy Healing
  • Spend time with nature (hike, go to the park)
  • Read a good book or two/LESS SCREEN TIME AND GET OFF FACEBOOK
  • Spend time with healthy people
  • Journal
  • Set KeyStone Habits

(personal exercise:  Grab your journal and write down ways you can love yourself more)


Monitor your thoughts, often!


Be conscious of the stories you are telling yourself (do not let your “stories” be defined by anything but your Higher Self)

Let go of the past and create a new story (not just a chapter)!  Remember, your past does not define you.

Keep your thoughts positive & motivating (do not ruminate about the past)

(tip:  choose to have daily mantras sent to you (there are plenty of apps to choose from, pick one that works best for you)

(personal exercise:  Grab your journal write down the thoughts that keep swirling in your mind which are keeping you from being mindful)

  ~The mind is everything, what you think you become~


Conclusion


Making significant changes in your life and healing from any sort of trauma or bad experiences takes time and Empowering yourself takes lots of work and energy to keep going.

There will be times you want to give up, you won’t see your progress (although others do) and you may even feel its not worth it.  Do not stop, ever, by all means, have a down “poor me” day, eat ice cream, wallow in sadness but do not give up.

Wake up the next morning….get on your yoga mat, take a walk, make a smoothie, sing in the shower, do whatever you have to do to motivate and keep going but do NOT give up.

This workshop was created to Empower you to be your Best and Highest Self.  I have done the work, I know how hard it is, but once you get to the other side, you will see that its worth it.

Love and Healing Always,

Namaste

Contact us at Avesha if you like us to join you on your new Empowerment Journey!

Prompts: Radiant

via Daily Post: Radiant

You are radiant, yes, you really are.

Has anyone ever told you that?  If yes, it felt amazing didn’t it?

If not, it doesn’t mean you aren’t radiant, because you are.

When a woman is home in her body…she radiates.  Its true.

I just found this quote:

“This is a woman whose body is so full of energy and Flow, so harmonized with the rhythm of nature, that she transmits light in the way she walks.”

As a woman we are all born with radiance…it is our choice to let it out and shine or to keep it locked away inside us.  Sometimes its blocked and needs to be released.

Let it out….let it shine…be radiant!